Dancing with the Girls

Monday, March 22, 2010

I’m not a Dancing with the Stars fan. I really don’t care whether “stars” can learn to dance or not.

I would be far more inclined to watch Dancing with the Monkeys.

And then, only if the monkeys wore fancy costumes.

No costumes? I’m out.

However, when the new lineup was announced for this season’s show, I immediately set my DVR to record the whole series. Most of you know that I’m predisposed to “girl crushes”.

What you may not know is that Pam Anderson was my second girl crush ever so she holds a special place in my heart.

Who was the first, you ask?

Why, Kim Basinger, of course.

I usually have a penchant for blondes but I love contestant, Nicole Scherzinger’s exotic look. If I were a brunette, this would be how I would want to look.

Oh wait, I am a brunette. What I mean is, in my next lifetime as a brunette, this is how I want to look.

And the new co-host, Brooke Burke? Well, she’s just gorgeous.

She’s the only reason I bought the whole catalog of Core Secrets workout videos in 2007. I was out of work and dating Sparky, who encouraged my workouts by telling me that my body looked like Brooke’s. God, men will say anything to get laid.

Hey, he said my body looked like Brooke Burke. You would have slept with him, too.

I don’t actually have high hopes for my girl, Pam. I think her center of gravity might be compromised too much but I think Nicole will do a respectable job of kicking Kate Gosselin’s ass.

I better go now. I think I have just enough time for a Core Secrets workout before the show starts.


  1. All I have to say is "thank you". This was nice.

  2. Oh. Is that tonight? I'll admit: Pam Anderson fascinates me....as does Kate Gosselin, although I've no idea why...although maybe I wanna see her minus her porcupine haircut.

    Yeah, that might be it.

    You totally threw me with the "if I were a brunette" thing....I'm like, "Whaaaa???"

    I'm awake now...

  3. I totally agree with the girl crushes. I have them too. I don't know if I can stand watching dancing with the stars.

  4. Totally Team Pam. I love that her boobs don't move when she dances.

    Just found your blog. Fantastic!

  5. I don't like the way Pam Anderson looks since Baywatch ended.

  6. Who knows you girlfriend? Yup. That's right, I do. Who bought you Pam Anderson Playboy video for a housewarming present? Yup. That's right. I did.

    But I just can't watch danicing with the stars no matter who is on there. I just can't.
    Go team monkey.

  7. LOVE the pic of the monkey!

    And agree...no costumes, I'm out. Give me some FASH!

    Hey, I really like your taste in ladies. Especially Nicole...go, pussycat! I'm prone to be more attracted to darker hair.


  8. My first girl crush was Daisy Duke. Age brought on a lust for Angelina as well as your beloved Pamela. I mean if I'm going gay...she's gonna have some big boobs! Now I'm a Megan Fox kind of girl. Anytime they want me to bat for the other team, all they gotta do is let me know.
    I hope your Pamela kicks some dancing ass! I'll vote in your honor :)

  9. @Chris,
    My pleasure.

    I would like to see Kate and Pam mud wrestle.

    @WannabeVirginia W,
    It was painful. I'll just tape it and forward to Pam and Nicole next time.

    @I'm Jane,
    Welcome to Team Pam! I know. Aren't her boobs a scream??

    Honestly, I don't like the way any of us look since Baywatch ended.

    You're the best! I still have that video. It was brutal to watch the whole show. Never again. Those judges are annoying as hell.

    Isn't the monkey great? "You want to take my picture? This is my better side.."

    @Adoption of Jane,
    I know! I need more monkey.

    Daisy and Angie are hotties, too. LOVE Megan Fox. I'm such a closet lez. Pam and I thank you!

  10. There are nudie pics of Brooke Burke out there if you're terribly interested. She gets a she gets a half shrug from me. Now Kim Basinger's another story.

  11. Hey Chrissy! Good grief, you get Hollywood (albeit fading) celebs? On the UK show, we just get this year's crop of soap stars, daytime TV hosts and retired jocks. Despair. Indigo


C'mon, you know you want to say it..

Blogger Template created by Just Blog It