Would you like some candy, little boy?

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Okay, so let's revisit this whole cougar phenomenon. First of all, I hate the word cougar. And not just because I'm 43, smokin' hot and eligible for the status. Who coined the word anyway?

Why don't we have a similar moniker for older men who date younger girls? Oh wait, we do. Old guy with money.

Maybe we should call them Hefners? Why else would anyone come within 50 feet of Hugh Hefner? I shudder to even think of doing anything remotely sexual with him.

Oh geez! I just thought about it.

Damn! It just flashed in my head again!

Silk pajamas....smoking jacket....

Make it stop!!

Because I'm so disgusted by this whole "thing", I was really annoyed when I saw the previews for Cougar Town. Must we encourage this? I vowed to NOT watch it but I record whatever comes on before it so part of it ends up being recorded anyway.

I watched the first few minutes and okay, I admit, it was kind of funny. But what the hell happened to these women's faces? I've always thought that Courtney Cox was absolutely beautiful and that Christa Miller was cute, too. I think Courtney Cox had her eyes done and maybe a face lift but Christa looks way too stretccchhhedd. She's virtually unrecognizable along with Kenny Rogers and Joan Rivers.

Yes, it's tough to accept the inevitable landslide of every amount of skin on your body but what happened to aging gracefully?

And yes, I get that these women are on TV and the pressure is greater to look good and blah...blah...blah. But I see this at the local mall, too. There was a woman at our 25 year high school reunion in July who was talking about her face the way people were talking about their kids.

"Courtney is 10 and starting the fifth grade."

"I had my nose done at the Cleveland Clinic in 2006."

"Bobby is 18 and will be going to Ohio State."

"My boobs are 2 years old. They were smaller the first time, but I decided to go bigger."


Don't get me wrong, I would love to have a little eyelid lift but until my lids droop so far that I'm unable to see, it ain't gonna happen.

I guess I'll just have to woo the boys with my charm and lollipops.


  1. Great post!! What I don't get is those women who can't move their lips when they talk...ventriloquist anyone??

  2. I thought we called them dirty old men.

  3. Damn! The cougar phenomenon is making me embarrassed to talk to any guy who's not my age... I worry that they're worried about what I'm thinking, but it's not that... honest! Unless you're pretty close to my age and then I might consider thinking those thoughts that my child thinks are not supposed to be in my head, but that sneak in every once in awhile! I guess if cougars are in their late 30's & 40's I'm too old anyway. Aw, screw it! Let it all sag!

  4. We call those old men "Sugar Daddy", which in and of itself is creepy, no?

    And I am with you, no plastic plastic for me. I am not a Barbie doll for crying out load. I have no tag that states made in China.

    However, sometimes when I see people I went to highschool with, I ask my daughter do I look that old? When she starts replying yes, I may rethink it, until then, I will stick with the au natural look!

  5. Stumbled upon your blog via f8hasit's and love this post. Such a reassuring take on aging gracefully. I realize you say you have issues, but I'm going to go ahead and apply the word "normal" to your view on plastic surgery. I'm 21 at the moment and it's nice to know some women still think our bodies are normal just as they were given to us, so thank you!

  6. Hey Chrissy! 43, smokin' hot and eligible? Damn. You should get that on a bumper sticker. With your phone number. If you need someone to proof read your phone number, send me it over.

  7. Any guy can go after a girl 30 years younger than him--but the men who GET those girls are called "celebrities."
    Regardless of gender, it's all about wanting to delude ourselves that we're not getting old...but by investing a lot of time with someone who is not our equal either emotionally or intellectually (when he asks you who the Beatles were, it will hit home) we are wasting precious time we could be using to find a suitable long-term companion that we actually have something in common with.

  8. Chrissy,

    "Maybe we should call them Hefners? Why else would anyone come within 50 feet of Hugh Hefner? I shudder to even think of doing anything remotely sexual with him.

    Oh geez! I just thought about it. Damn! It just flashed in my head again! Silk pajamas....smoking jacket....Make it stop!!"


    When said all that, I just wanted to rock you in my arms saying, "Think about Brad Pitt. Just think about Brad Pitt. Who likes six-pack abs? YOU like six-pack abs, yes you do. Yes, you, do. Do you wanna see Hugh Jackman in X-Men Origins? No? Do you wanna see Daniel Craig in a speedo? Yes? Okay, let's go see Daniel Craig in a speedo."

  9. Great post. I did a little thing on aging-- not so gracefully today too. :)

  10. The Cougar Brand is getting a little too advertised, market saturation and all that, I agree. Hey nicely written!


  11. Great write. I was just channel surfing today and caught a little of the new Girl's Next Door... Oh. My. God. Those girls are 60 years younger. I'm NOT kidding! They are 20 - he's 80. Ugh

    I've not had the chance to sample Cougartown yet, but am not really interested. I am with you. I hate that word.

    I'm going to be 41 in about 2 weeks and don't appreciate the term! :)

    "Heffers". I love it!

  12. Very well stated!!! Loving your words! Cougar doesn't bother me in the least bit. At least that means we're clever, svelt, sleek, feminine and so damn smooth!!! Dirty old man, Hefner, Heffer, whatever defines someone who's still a dirty old man who is trying to find his youth through a girl who is probably not even interested in him but what he has (whether it's money or possessions) and when it's gone ~ so is she. She probably can (if she's lucky) only get one orgasm out of him anyway. With a cougar ~ put on your seat belts because he'll get one orgasm for sure ~ it's the rest of them he's gonna have to be careful about!!! . . . did I say that outloud?

  13. I dont understand the women who do so much to their lips they end up looking like scary ducks!!! I mean come on people!!! learn from michael jackson... too much plastic surgery is BAD!!!!

  14. Great post!

    how about...

    "I am saving for my kid's college ..."


    "I am saving for my facelift.."

  15. Have you heard the expression "if she has another face lift, she'll have a beard!"? I suppose the same for a man would be the Fidel Castro look - beard and cigar!

    If you find someone you love, does it matter how old they are? I know a couple where the guy was 25 years older than his partner. They're still together after 15 years. He's not famous or rich they're just happy.

  16. I don't watch TV, but I can tell ya, just from reading your post I would HATE this show.

    It's funny you should be mentioning the whole face lift thing. I recently saw a movie with Jessica Lange (who I LOVE) but saw that she obviously had her face done (ALOT) and it was sad because I thought she was gorgeous just as she was.

    what happened to aging gracefully?

    You said it, Chrissy!

    Stay as you are, dear friend!

    A non-cougar COUGAR!


  17. I tried to like Cougar Town but I just find it grating. Christa Miller doesn't even look like the same person anymore. That's what scares me about plasitc surgery. I would like to have it done (if I had the money) but if famous people can't find someone to operate on them so they look "normal", what hope do I have in Eastern KY?

  18. @Lee the Hot Flash Queen,
    I know! What's up with that?

    Oh, we do...

    You know, you're right. I'm less likely to flirt with a younger guy because of that, too.

    Of course! How could I forget about Sugar Daddy!

    Isn't that funny? I do the same thing.

    @Natalyn Giverson,
    Wow, no one's ever called me normal before. Y'all come back now.

    I'll send the proof right over.

    I agree. I prefer older men myself.

  19. @Toolbit,
    OMG. This made me LAUGH OUT LOUD. SO funny...

    @C. Andres Alderete,
    I'll make a note of that.


    @Judge Fudge,
    HA! Very clever. Let me know how you do.

    Totally, right? Thanks.

    Thanks! Yeah, I saw the previews with the new gaggle of girls and I think I threw up in my mouth a little.

    One orgasm? I think you're giving him too much credit.

    I know! How do they look in the mirror and think, Lookin' good...


    @The Fat Man,
    I think I have heard that. Too funny!

    I suppose it doesn't really matter how old they are but people need something to gossip about.

    Was it the Grey Gardens movie? She does look overly done in that. Still an amazing actress, though.

    Exactly! If they can't find someone to do it well with all their millions, how will we??

  20. Even though I'm 21. I totally don't get this whole cougar thing. I understand that younger men are more attractive or whatever, but I myself love older men. I'm such a reverse pedophile. It's verging on pathetic.

  21. hate hate hate the term also, since im attracted to younger men! Arrgghh!

  22. The following fact sucks royally as I inch closer to fifty: GRAVITY WORKS.
    Good attitude though, Chrissy. I tried to hold out but caved when my lids hung over my chin. Not sure how I'll handle a navel in my cleavage either. Gettin' tired of dying my hair to cover gray, also. If I do happen to wake up one day as a women of true substance, perhaps I'll give gray and gravity their due. Till then, it's a crapshoot. You're funtastic, Girl!

  23. I'm not crazy about the word "cougar" in this vein either. Of course, I'm still trying to get the image of Hef outta my head.

    Cox's show is alright....she's goofy and kinda Monica-like...but hotter. As for the chick from Scrubs, she'd gained weight I think while pregnant when still on Scrubs and I noticed a change in her face then...not sure what that's all about, but she does look different.

    I'd do an eyelift in a heartbeat....heavy lids run in our fam & I think I'd look 50 years younger!

  24. Although, either group is alright I prefer natural women all the time to 'modifiers'.

    And, Cougar Town? I have to google this and see what this show is all about. Never heard of it.

  25. @Rae,
    It's just an ego thing. I actually prefer older men, too. Always have. Reverse pedophile. That's funny.

    Sucks, doesn't it?

    @Cynica Sarcastamos,

    Thanks! Glad to see you!

    I hate coloring my hair, too, and I've been tempted to let it grow out but I'm just not quite ready..

    @Dave "Loose Cannon" Wills,

    Thanks for the fresh perspective!

    I don't think you'll be too impressed.


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