's a Secret.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

I can't wake up one morning and say, "I think I'll go buy a new camera today." I must peruse every camera review website and ask all my friends what kind of camera they have and the pros and cons of it.

I do this with everything. I love to research things and gather as much information as I can. One reason is to be rest assured that I'm making the most logical choice based on quality and value. The other reason is that I just hate making the wrong decision.

I can't even buy a book without reading the reviews first. Today, a friend told me about the "The Secret". Now, certainly, I've heard of the book. I mean, I watch Oprah as much as the next guy. But I really wanted to know for sure if people were experiencing life changing events because of it. Well, I went to Amazon and found what has to be THE best book review I have ever read.

I know it's kind of long but it's worth the read. You'll thank me after.

Please allow me to share with you how "The Secret" changed my life and in a very real and substantive way allowed me to overcome a severe crisis in my personal life. It is well known that the premise of "The Secret" is the science of attracting the things in life that you desire and need and in removing from your life those things that you don't want. Before finding this book, I knew nothing of these principles, the process of positive visualization, and had actually engaged in reckless behaviors to the point of endangering my own life and wellbeing.

At age 36, I found myself in a medium security prison serving 3-5 years for destruction of government property and public intoxication. This was stiff punishment for drunkenly defecating in a mailbox but as the judge pointed out, this was my third conviction for the exact same crime. I obviously had an alcohol problem and a deep and intense disrespect for the postal system, but even more importantly I was ignoring the very fabric of our metaphysical reality and inviting destructive influences into my life.

My fourth day in prison was the first day that I was allowed in general population and while in the recreation yard I was approached by a prisoner named Marcus who calmly informed me that as a new prisoner I had been purchased by him for three packs of Winston cigarettes and 8 ounces of Pruno (prison wine). Marcus elaborated further that I could expect to be raped by him on a daily basis and that I had pretty eyes.

Needless to say, I was deeply shocked that my life had sunk to this level. Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic and dismayed by my overall personal street value of roughly $15. I returned to my cell and sat very quietly, searching myself for answers on how I could improve my life and distance myself from harmful outside influences. At that point, in what I consider to be a miraculous moment, my cell mate Jim Norton informed me that he knew about the Marcus situation and that he had something that could solve my problems. He handed me a copy of "The Secret".

Normally I wouldn't have turned to a self help book to resolve such a severe and immediate threat but I literally didn't have any other available alternatives. I immediately opened the book and began to read.

The first few chapters deal with the essence of something called the "Law of Attraction" in which a primal universal force is available to us and can be harnessed for the betterment of our lives. The theoretical nature of the first few chapters wasn't exactly putting me at peace. In fact, I had never meditated and had great difficulty with closing out the chaotic noises of the prison and visualizing the positive changes that I so dearly needed.

It was when I reached Chapter 6 "The Secret to Relationships" that I realized how this book could help me distance myself from Marcus and his negative intentions. Starting with chapter six there was a cavity carved into the book and in that cavity was a prison shiv. This particular shiv was a toothbrush with a handle that had been repeatedly melted and ground into a razor sharp point.

The next day in the exercise yard I carried "The Secret" with me and when Marcus approached me I opened the book and stabbed him in the neck. The next eight weeks in solitary confinement provided ample time to practice positive visualization and the 16 hours per day of absolute darkness made visualization about the only thing that I actually could do.

I'm not sure that everybody's life will be changed in such a dramatic way by this book but I'm very thankful to have found it and will continue to recommend it heartily.


  1. Wow! Guess it's time to go book shopping! Very cool indeed.

  2. god I could have used this book to sway carrot muffin biatch to stab oatmeal raisin guy with well my book....hhahahahahh. Going to a birthday party this morning for my 4 year old cousin and all I'm going to think of is stabbing carrots and muffins. I LOVE YOU CHRISSY!!!!!!


    P.S. I read the secret when I was trying to get over the Ex...well it still hasn't worked. Maybe a low key woman's prison is the way to go...I think I will put this on my wish list for xmassss!!!

  3. When I read this post it reminded me of the scene in Shawshank Redemption when the warden opens his bible and there's an imprint of the pick ax Andy used to break free with. Very funny Thanks for the morning giggle.

  4. The book can work if you give it a chance. The lady with the ex husband did it wrong. She should have beaten him to death with it.hahaha

  5. hahaha I think thats the best example of a self help book working!

    @Brndoutw8ress: I love that film!

  6. @The Guys,
    I wouldn't try to buy a copy at the airport.

    Printed word is a powerful medium.

    You are so silly, girl. I don't those prison chicks could afford you!

    You're so right! That's a great movie.

    I'll pass along the suggestion!

  7. @Sparky,
    I agree! NYT best seller all the way.

  8. That's much more help than I expected, but it has a happy (eek!) ending, I suppose! Not a universe I exactly understand...

    You do a great job, and I love your avatar!

  9. "Three packs of Winston cigarettes and 8 ounces of Pruno (prison wine)."

    Seems like a good deal for your very own jailhouse bitch.

  10. OMG. I'm reading it....thinking it's gonna be this serious, life-affirming, emotional recommendation...till I got to the part about Marcus!
    You're right, Chrissy...hands down the best book review EVER!

  11. Just thinking that Pruno is the perfect wine for prison...LOL!

  12. @Leah,
    The universe works in mysterious ways. Thanks!

    Anytime, my friend.

    And they say we're in a recession..

    It was quite enlightening, wasn't it?

    All the best prisons carry it, you know.

  13. Thanks for sharing,Chrissy. I luv your recommendation and i surely agree with you that some book inspires us deeply and leads our life. So, i am reading one.


  14. I'm very glad to know that this book was so useful to this gentleman. My copy has been an excellent paperweight. It's good to know the book has been helpful.

  15. At another time when you and I meet in person I would like to give you my own personal view on this book. It would really take too long for me to say in a comment.

    I'm not a huge fan of this book because it's too general. It leaves out too much. I personally believe that there are many other factors about manifestation than just simply wanting something and having it happen.

    Like..."Is what I wish to manifest, for my highest good?"

    That's all I'll say until we meet, dear twin.


  16. I actually read that book, and the only way it COULD help would be to hide a shank in, or take it to the outhouse.

  17. Self-help is not what i ever read or like. However, now that i have read this review, i can think of many cases a book can be of "self-help".

    So as you said, here i am thanking you chrissy for sharing this review and off i go to amazon to search for this wise mind!

  18. I love it!!! I love reading the reviews, you just never know what people are going to say. just amazing!!! thanks for sharing!

  19. You just never know when a good shiv will come in handy. It's funny, my dad buys things just like you...he has to research everything. Then, after he buys the product, he has to still research to make sure he got the best deal.

  20. I bookmarked your blog quite a while ago and am catching up and revisiting and since I don't have time to read anymore, I probably won't get around to reading The Secret, but I thoroughly enjoyed your "take" on it...

  21. I'm here thru JWBW and that was hysterical! Glad I found you I'll be back for sure :)

  22. @christopher lei,
    I guess we all find strength where we can.

    I see you were inspired as well. At least your papers don't blow away.

    I know what you mean. A lot of these books are like that. We should write one!

    I'm beginning to notice a pattern in these comments..


  23. @Amit,
    I'm glad I could help!

    Isn't that funny? The uncensored review.

    I got it from my Dad, too. He always thinks he's being screwed.

    @Terri and the Cats,
    How nice to meet you! From the comments I'm reading, you might want to just skip the book and buy yourself a nice paperweight instead.

    How fun. I love her! Thanks for stopping by. See you soon~


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