Secondhand Sunday

I've decided to make Sundays my Secondhand day. I'm basically too lazy to think of anything new to say so I thought I would re-post a "vintage" entry.

If you aren't in the mood for repeats, please feel free to change the channel.


"NORTHERN EXPOSURE"

Original Post Date, November 29, 2009


I'm not a Sarah Palin fan. I think she's marginally intelligent at best and would be better off as a PTA chairman. Her reign would encourage participation by local fathers, casually placing meeting agendas on their laps to cover up their boners.

I suppose a book was inevitable in Sarah's future from the minute John McCain chose this rifle wielding honey as his running mate. I've seen her on a few talk shows as she does the circuit to promote her newly penned memoir. I must admit, I am curious about what's fact and what's fiction though not in regards to the McCain camp. I'm more interested in the disparity in stories between Sarah Palin and Levi Johnston.

In case you've been living under a rock, Levi is the hunky young man who impregnated Sarah's teenage daughter, Bristol. He was reported to be living in the Palin home until the baby was born but was swiftly removed when the engagement was called off.

So what's a baby Daddy to do but start going on talk shows and telling the real story about life in the Palin household? And what makes him even more believable? Posing naked for Playgirl.

The minute I heard that that Levi was going to expose a little redneck raciness, I took his every word as gospel. However, when I realized that he had wimped out and decided that full frontal nudity was out, I started questioning him again.

C'mon, Levi, there's nothing more honest than a man's junk. How could you tell us that you were going to show us the family jewels and then change your mind? How do you expect us to believe anything that you say? I'm very disappointed and I know that Playgirl's 60% male subscriber base is disappointed, too.


Well, maybe Playgirl will give you another chance to redeem yourself. If you can't do it for me, do it for your mother who's just been sent to jail for three years for drug possession.

Do it for Wasilla.

Damn it, boy, do it for your country.