Monday Morning Dino

Monday, March 26, 2012

"What's that, Mom? You're going to start jogging? Hoo hoo....ha....ha.....ha.......oh my God, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard!!! Hee hee.........Thanks, I needed that today."

Can you help a Sista out?

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Okay, here's the scoop.

My new friend Amanda, is a clinical psychology doctoral student at Clark University in Worcester, MA. Her research interest is in optimizing couples' functioning. Her master's thesis was on “Constraint Commitment: A Sustaining Factor in Same-Sex Relationships” and she's completing her doctoral dissertation by developing a survey analyzing partner undermining of weight loss.

I think it's a fascinating topic! I know there are plenty of us (myself included) who have found ourselves in this situation before.

Amanda just needs a few more participants for the survey. You may be wondering if I've taken the survey but that's probably because you didn't read far enough to see that you actually need a partner.

The best part is that it's completely ANONYMOUS, so you can be totally honest without fear of being force fed Twinkies by your partner when they find out.

If you meet the criteria below, please help Amanda out by taking this 30-45 minute survey.

1) Are you at least 18 years of age?

2) Have you been participating in a weight loss program for the past consecutive 5 weeks?

3) Have you been in a committed, cohabitating relationship for the past two years?

4) Do you ever feel like your partner/spouse gets in the way of your weight loss?

I know you guys are all super smart, so you should be able to knock it out in 30 minutes, tops. Amanda knows your time is valuable, so as a bonus, each participant will have $1 donated to one of the following charities of your choice:


The Carter Center

Teach for America

Susan G. Komen for the Cure

MAP International

But, wait, there's more!

You'll also have the option of entering a drawing for 1 of 10 gift cards (one $100 card and nine $25 cards).

Click the link below to take the survey. Thank you all for your help. Love you guys!

Yes, I want to take the survey to help Amanda out.

Monday Morning Millie

Monday, March 12, 2012

Do I have any boogies in my nose? C'mon, you can tell me.

Secondhand Sunday

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Sundays are my Secondhand day. I'm basically too lazy to think of anything new to say so I re-post a "vintage" entry.

If you aren't in the mood for repeats, please feel free to change the channel.

"Coffee, tea or pee?"

Original Post Date, March 10, 2010

I reached into my refrigerator to get something to drink.

Let's see...I've got V-8, orange juice, cranberry juice, beer, urine...

Yep, that's what's in the jug. Urine.

You remember how my doctor diagnosed me as "F-A-T" and that I'm completely rebelling against that diagnosis because I've never been "F-A-T" in my life? Well, I went to an endocrinologist a few weeks back and had some bloodwork done. Her conclusion?

I'm "F-A-T".


A few of my levels were a bit questionable so she wanted me to do a 24-hour urine sampling. When she first told me about it, I naively assumed that I would be given a bunch of those tiny little urine cups. You know, the ones they make you place behind the hidden door in restrooms at the doctor's office?

Not so.

I went to the lab to pick up my supplies and was presented with this humongous jug and a little pee catching contraption that you see in hospital patient's rooms. I'm pretty dense because the jug was completely collapsed and I felt stupid asking them what to do. So when I got back to my office, I called my sister, Lisa, and had her come down to explain it to me.

"This is easy", she said as she picked up the jug, "this should expand to hold all the urine."

"Now that", she pointed to the urine catching thing as I was reaching for it, "Don't. Don't put it on your..."

Too late, I was already wearing it as a hat.

"Chrissy! Are you going to take this seriously or not?"

How could she not appreciate the versatility? Why, it was like two hats in one!

"I am. Thank you for explaining it". I took my pseudo-hat off.

I had to keep my "sample" refrigerated and since I didn't think anyone would appreciate a jug-o-urine next to their peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the fridge at work, I took a vacation day.

It got me to thinking. About 15 years ago, I was experiencing all kinds of health problems. I was on 4 asthma medications, had recurrent sinus infections and just generally felt like crap all the time. Conventional medicine didn't seem to be helping me so I looked for "alternative" ways to cure myself.

One thing that I read about was drinking your own urine. Contrary to popular belief, urine isn't toxic since it's not a by-product of the body's waste system but of blood filtration. Worried about the taste? Don't be. Tastes like chicken.

Of course, I'm kidding. I have no idea what it tastes like and I don't really care to find out. I have read that it helps you to stay slim but in my case, it would most likely be because I would throw up each time I attempted a swig.

If my weight loss dreams hinge on starting this practice, I'll instead sign up for and live chubbily ever after.

Good choice

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I'm so glad I decided on a landline.

My popularity is overwhelming.

Stripper Chick Wisdom

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Chrissy's real truth about life that no one will tell you.

"The only thing worse than calling your girlfriend a c_ _ _, is telling her she looks fat."

Or is it vice-versa??

Monday Morning Vinny

Monday, March 5, 2012

"I can't believe I ate the whole thing..."

Prison break

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Remind me to never put Dino in a pen like this!

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