Secondhand Sunday

Sunday, November 29, 2009

I've decided to make Sundays my Secondhand day. I'm basically too lazy to think of anything new to say so I thought I would re-post a "vintage" entry.

If you aren't in the mood for repeats, please feel free to change the channel.


Original Post Date, May 6, 2009

My sister has been lamenting about the 4 or 5 gray hairs that have shown up on her head lately. As you know, she's 45 and, though I would never tell her this, she looks younger than me. She has perfect skin and has never worn a stitch of makeup in her life. Well, I think there were two weddings that she attended where she stroked on a sliver of eyeshadow. A couple of gray hairs are nothing to lose sleep over.

My mother has been blessed with amazing skin and hair, too. She just turned 81 and you wouldn't guess it. She, like Lisa, doesn't wear makeup often and has never used soap on her face. She still has salt and pepper hair and I don't remember her turning gray until she was well into her 50's.

I, on the other hand, starting wearing makeup just about as soon as I was able to lift the lipstick to my mouth. I attended Barbizon Modeling School when I was 12 and have been cleansing, toning and moisturizing ever since.

And I found my first gray hair at 13. That's right, 13. It's really not a big deal to me at all. They've insidiously taken over my head and if I didn't color my hair, I would most likely be more gray than not.

I think it's just what you're genetically predisposed to. And no, neither one of us takes after our mother because, you see, we were both adopted. None of us are biologically related.

I know, I can hear you now. Well, that explains a lot...

A few of my girlfriends have started freaking out about a few gray hairs, too. Can you see my gray?

Get over it, ladies! It's a couple of strands of white hair. It's not the end of the world.

When you find your first gray pube, then we'll talk.

C Cleveland

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Today, I want to dedicate this post to the memory of Buckeye, a 14 year old peregrine falcon that had been nesting on a ledge of the Terminal Tower building in downtown Cleveland for 12 years.

Peregrine falcons didn't historically nest in Ohio but beginning in 1988, they started setting up home on makeshift "cliffs" on downtown skyscrapers. They are part of the raptor (bird of prey) species and are known for their flight speed in pursuit of prey. They attack by swooping at speeds that can exceed 200mph and kill their prey upon impact. It's likely that awesome speed that led to Buckeye's demise.

Here's the article by James F. McCarty from

Buckeye, believed to be one of the country's oldest and most prolific peregrine falcons, died last week after apparently striking a building near its urban nest on the Terminal Tower.

A woman walking at the intersection of West Third Street and Huron Avenue discovered the injured male on the sidewalk and called Harvey Webster, director of wildlife resources at the Cleveland Museum of Natural History.

Webster said the unidentified woman managed to scoop up the bird and rush it to the museum. But Buckeye was dead by the time she arrived, said Webster, the overseer of the falcons' nesting box 12 floors above Public Square.

"He had a heck of a life and an incredible run during his 12 years on the Terminal Tower," Webster said.

Buckeye was 14 years old, having hatched in 1996 atop the Rhodes Office Tower in downtown Columbus. Officers with Ohio's Division of Natural Resources attached an identifying leg band on the chick before he left the nest.

As an adult, he flew north and spent two years on the Case Western Reserve University campus before pairing up with a female, Zenith, on the downtown Cleveland skyscraper.

In 2001, a second female, hatched in Pittsburgh and identified only as S/W, arrived in Cleveland and killed Zenith. She then joined Buckeye at the nest.

Between the two females, Buckeye sired 34 peregrine chicks, an amazing accomplishment for a species that was endangered for decades, Webster said.
Buckeye was getting old, but he hadn't missed a beat incubating the eggs or providing food for his chicks, Webster said.

Webster speculated that Buckeye's fatal collision might have come during an aerial battle with another male. The falcons can dive at up to 200 mph.

The males may have been battling for S/W's affections. The past weekend, downtown falcon watchers had observed S/W in the company of a new male. He has a leg band, but no one has been able to read its identification numbers yet.

Webster said Cleveland's falcon enthusiasts aren't as willing as S/W to adopt the interloper. They had become attached to Buckeye over the years, and have been mourning, he said.

The Museum of Natural History set up a webcam and these are some of the pictures from over the years.

Young peregrines exploring the ledge

Mama and babies

Big, brown bat for dinner again?

Rare to see both male and female at feeding time. And yes, the female is the larger bird.

Peregrine falcon chicks on Terminal Tower

Banding the chicks

Rest in Peace, Buckeye.

Northern Exposure

Friday, November 27, 2009

I'm not a Sarah Palin fan. I think she's marginally intelligent at best and would be better off as a PTA chairman. Her reign would encourage participation by local fathers, casually placing meeting agendas on their laps to cover up their boners.

I suppose a book was inevitable in Sarah's future from the minute John McCain chose this rifle wielding honey as his running mate. I've seen her on a few talk shows as she does the circuit to promote her newly penned memoir. I must admit, I am curious about what's fact and what's fiction though not in regards to the McCain camp. I'm more interested in the disparity in stories between Sarah Palin and Levi Johnston.

In case you've been living under a rock, Levi is the hunky young man who impregnated Sarah's teenage daughter, Bristol. He was reported to be living in the Palin home until the baby was born but was swiftly removed when the engagement was called off.

So what's a baby Daddy to do but start going on talk shows and telling the real story about life in the Palin household? And what makes him even more believable? Posing naked for Playgirl.

The minute I heard that that Levi was going to expose a little redneck raciness, I took his every word as gospel. However, when I realized that he had wimped out and decided that full frontal nudity was out, I started questioning him again.

C'mon, Levi, there's nothing more honest than a man's junk. How could you tell us that you were going to show us the family jewels and then change your mind? How do you expect us to believe anything that you say? I'm very disappointed and I know that Playgirl's 60% male subscriber base is disappointed, too.

Well, maybe Playgirl will give you another chance to redeem yourself. If you can't do it for me, do it for your mother who's just been sent to jail for three years for drug possession.

Do it for Wasilla.

Damn it, boy, do it for your country.

Happy Thanksgiving

Thursday, November 26, 2009

If you've followed me for any amount of time, you know that I lack the "stick-to-itiveness" gene. I start and never quite finish tasks around the house, my garage is half cleaned, my yard half raked and no, I never did get into those Lucky jeans that would have fit if I had lost ten pounds.

That's why even I am shocked at how long I've been able to keep this blog going. When I first started it, it was a way to process some of the junk in my head and write down the funny stuff that happens to me on a regular basis but what is has become is far more than I could have imagined.

Oscar Wilde said, "I love talking about nothing. It's the only thing I know anything about."

Me, too, Oscar. I'm thrilled that I have 1 follower let alone over 300 and I'm proud to say that some have become true friends.

So, today I give thanks to all of you for listening to my random musings about nothing and for sharing your lives with me.


Secondhand Sunday

Sunday, November 22, 2009

I've decided to make Sundays my Secondhand day. I'm basically too lazy to think of anything new to say so I thought I would re-post a "vintage" entry.

If you aren't in the mood for repeats, please feel free to change the channel.


Original Post Date, January 6, 2009

Let me give you a little insight into why I’m single. I just received a text message from a 41 year old guy that I met on a few months ago. I’ve been on and off for a few years now. Okay 7 years, but who’s counting?

Well, one day I came across a banner ad touting this FREE dating site. And you know how much I like free so I thought I would give it a try.

I haven’t really dated much in a few years. My most recent relationships were with guys I met on line who were about 10 years older than me. The last serious one broke up with me in an email after 10 months. Yep. Email. Ten months. He was 45.

I became casually acquainted with this girl at work last year and through conversations, we realized we were both the same age. (I would guess I was younger, but I digress)

I had single guy friends and she had single guy friends so we figured let’s throw everyone in a room and see if anything sticks, so to speak. We went out right before Valentine’s Day, sort of an anti-Valentine’s Day gathering. I wasn’t really interested in meeting anyone, I was more excited about seeing my friends.

Long story, short, I met this great guy and we went out for a few months. We really connected and I loved spending time with him. I’m past planning my wedding by the second date and I don’t go into things with unrealistic expectations. I knew he really wasn’t over his ex girlfriend but we were having fun so I wasn’t worried about how long it might last. We seemed to have found a great level of friendship and mutual respect. And he was hot.

Then he broke up with me in a email. An email. A 42 year old man broke up with me in an email. It was sort of convoluted in its message. "I want to take a little time for myself and see where I'm at.....I care about you and respect you".....I even sent it to my sister, Lisa, and said. “Did he just break up with me?’ ‘Um, yes. Yes, he did.” A few email exchanges later revealed that the real reason was that he wasn't over the last chick. Well, then just say that.

I thought men were evolving, getting more in touch with their feelings, being more communicative. Um, no. No, they’re not. And this information age just makes it easier for wimpy men to be wimpier.

Back to the text I got tonight. I met this manly man firefighter in September-ish and we went out a few times. I got the feeling that he wasn’t really into me and he proved it by disappearing for long stretches only to text me “What’s up?” a month later.

If you want to go out, say “Would you like to go out?” Don’t ask me all these questions around the question you want to ask.

Emails…text messages…I can’t take it anymore. Pick up the damn phone! You’re on the phone texting anyway. I blame the feminists for this. I’m as independent as they come, but c’mon, a little chivalry is nice and romance is very flattering. I’m afraid we’ve created men who are afraid we’ll say no and more afraid we’ll say yes. I half expect a guy to pull my hair in line at the grocery store if he’s interested.

This is why I spend so much time with my dog, Bernie. I can say "Bernie and I had a great weekend. Bernie and I went to the Hamptons" and no one is the wiser. Well, we haven't actually gone to the Hamptons , but it's our dream. You get my point.

C Cleveland

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Today, I introduce you to a Cleveland landmark.

The West Side Market.

The different neighborhoods in Cleveland have unique names and the Market sits in a neighborhood known as Ohio City. It's one of the oldest and most ethnically diverse neighborhoods in Cleveland and sits just over the Cuyahoga River from downtown Cleveland.

Early promotional postcard

The West Side Market was built in 1912 as it had outgrown it's public market space that had occupied the opposite corner since 1840. The markethouse cost $680,000 to build and provided room for 100 interior stalls, an outdoor arcade with 85 stands and a large clock tower. The Market, designed by the prominent Cleveland architectural firm, Hubbell and Bennes, was designated a National Historic Landmark in 1973 and underwent a $5 million renovation.

Most of the prices can't be beat and the vendors are friendly and often flirty. On a recent trip, a young cutie behind the deli counter looked at me and said, What's your pleasure, gorgeous? I almost switched my order from hard salami to bologna so I wouldn't blush.

A large number of the stands are family operated and have been around for generations so there's always a familiar face when you come back. Whatever your pleasure, the West Side Market will have it.

Be sure to put this on your itinerary the next time you're in town. And would you pick me up some cannoli, please?

Yep, that's Al Roker.

What's in your wallet?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

I know some of us may be altering our Holiday spending habits due to the economy. My bank has this handy dandy calculator that can help you determine just how much extra cash you have to spend.

Mine came out to negative $325.00.

Click here to determine yours.

What are YOU watching?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I like porn. There, I said it.

And according to a report by President O (Oprah, not Obama, silly), one in three consumers of porn are women. This statistic doesn't really surprise me. What does surprise me is how few women are willing to admit it. It's nothing to be ashamed of, ladies. If anything, it's empowering to take control of your sexuality.

I know, I know. We were raised to act like good girls and not show interest in things of a sexual nature. Well, you know what? A man wants a lady in the parlor and a whore in the bedroom.

And what better way to learn how to do that than in the privacy of your own home with a remote control in one hand and the garden vegetable of your choice in the other.

Porn is not only educational but it's a great way for couples to spice up a romance that's become routine. Tonight, Howard can be mean manager and you can be incompetent office temp who must be spanked for messing up his DICKtation. Get it? DICKtation? I kill me.

I know some of you feel uncomfortable when your guy suggests a dirty movie from the back room of the video store because you're all worried that he'll compare you to the hot chick on the screen. Well, don't worry. There won't be any comparisons going on because what he will be doing is closing his eyes and/or leaving the lights off so he can fantasize that you actually are her. Who cares?

If you're in a solid relationship, you know that he loves everything about you, from the extra junk in your trunk to the little pooch in your belly. Basically, if his thing meets yours, you're good.

So start having some fun, thinking outside the box, pushing the envelope. I think you'll see the positive effects it has.

And if you're not in a relationship right now, might I suggest Candida Royalle's Eyes of Desire? Skip the popcorn.

Love Thyself

Monday, November 16, 2009

I've spent the last week sitting on top of my wobbly dryer. It's good to be back.

Secondhand Sunday

Sunday, November 15, 2009

I've decided to make Sundays my Secondhand day. I'm basically too lazy to think of anything new to say so I thought I would re-post a "vintage" entry.

If you aren't in the mood for repeats, please feel free to change the channel.


Original post date: May 14, 2009

Over the years, women's workplace attire has gone from the suit, blouse and scarf ensemble to "business casual". There are a lot of interpretations for business casual from the trouser and cotton shirt combo to the skirt and sweater set. A jacket is no longer de riguer and it's even acceptable to bare your legs under a skirt. We've come a long way, baby.

Personally, I'm kind of old school. I feel more confident wearing a suit and pantyhose with a tailored bag that pulls the whole look together. I dress to flatter my figure but I keep in mind that anything too provocative sends the wrong message and can be inadvertently distracting in a business setting. There's a time and a place for sexy.

I also understand the importance of proper undergarments. A slip so that your skirt doesn't ride up. Panties that don't leave lines along the top of your butt. And a bra that won't reveal to people the temperature in the room. C'mon, you know what I'm talking about.

There's nothing more annoying to me than a woman with her nips showing in a business setting. Ladies, have you ever heard of a padded bra? Lightly padded? No? Well then how about modesty pasties?

And when I say pasties, I don't mean these:

Or these:

Or these delicious pasties:

I just mean these:

A discreet little daisy to cover up any distracting nippage and ensure that people take you seriously. You're not on the sleeve of the My Sharona 45 record, for goodness sake! Do you remember the controversy this picture caused in 1979? I'm sure Sharona was in many young boys wet dreams that year.

So, lesson for the day.

Nips showing through your silk sweater in a meeting - Bad.

Discreet daisy pasties - Good.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Hello Friends,

I've decided to take a week off from the blogosphere to rest and regroup from all the "stuff" going on in my life right now.

See you next Saturday!


Secondhand Sunday

Sunday, November 8, 2009

I've decided to make Sundays my Secondhand day. I'm basically too lazy to think of anything new to say so I thought I would re-post a "vintage" entry.

If you aren't in the mood for repeats, please feel free to change the channel.



I'm a self proclaimed, penny pinching frugal shopper. And I love to find creative ways to make a little extra cash, too, as long it's not illegal. Well, as long as it doesn’t hold any higher of a charge than misdemeanor.

I guess part of this attitude has sprung from necessity and part from the sheer thrill of a bargain. When I was out of work a few years back, I turned to eBay to supplement my income. I would buy items from discount stores or clearance racks and turn around and sell them for a nice profit. It actually paid my mortgage for 6 months.

I probably developed this penny-wise mentality from my mother. She always loved a good deal, whether it was at the grocery store or JCPenney's. If she found something with a flaw, she would ask for an additional discount. If she didn’t get it, she would smile and say, in Armenian, with a big smile on her face, “Shove it up your ass.”

The clerks had no idea what she was saying and probably thought it was, “Have a nice day.” Most of what I can say in Armenian involves some level of insults or cursing. Oh, and the Lord’s Prayer.

My mother thought it was hysterical. My sister decided to show off her language skills when she was 7 years old and our church priest was coming for dinner. He was having a lively discussion with my father and grandparents in the living room when my sister came running in to proudly boast, in Armenian, to Father Diran (pronounced Dee-Dahn) that we were having roast beef.

Only she didn’t tell him we were having roast beef. She told him that a hooker was coming to dinner. Now in her defense, "hooker" in Armenian and "roast beef" in English sound very similar. We learned the word “hooker” when my mother’s brother remarried.

Sorry, I got off the subject there.

So I’ve been sitting on a lot of this eBay surplus that I didn’t sell and I decided to sign up for a Community Garage Sale this past Saturday so that I could hawk my wares. This was my chance to not only clear out all this stuff but make some extra cash, too.

I tried having a garage sale last year but lucky me, I picked the HOTTEST day of the year. I HATE hot weather. But I thought, okay, I live on a street with pretty high traffic so it should be a blow out. Nope. Apparently, that busy street thing works against you when you don’t have street parking.

People would slllllooowww down in front of the house until the guy behind them WHALED on their horn and then they would drive away. The few people I did get were looking for very specific things.

“Do you have any knives?”

“Nope, sorry.”

“Do you have any electronic devices?”

“Nope, sorry.”

"Do you have any chicken wire?"

"No. And get the hell off my lawn."

It was pretty easy to prepare for this sale since everything from last July was still boxed and sitting in my garage. I arrived there 30 minutes early and set out my treasures. When I was done, I wandered around the community center to see what other people were selling and came back confident that my table would do the best. I was wrong.

"Do you have any mice on a string?"

"Excuse me?"

"Mice on a string. You know, for cats to play with?"

"Um. No, sorry."

"Do you have any bottle openers?"


But I did have designer sheet sets, new pillows, dog collars, pictures and a ficus tree. Apparently, no one was looking for any of those things. I had one foreign man who picked up and examined a 50 cent, 50 CENT, soap dish. He stood there and called someone who gave him permission to buy it.

I wanted to say, "Are you fucking kidding me? It's 50 cents, asshole." But all I said was, "Thank you, have a nice day." and then I muttered "Shove it up your ass" in Armenian.

As I started packing up early (I got in trouble for this, by the way) another seller stopped me.

"I didn't see that tree. How much do you want for it?"

Desperate to get rid of this 6 foot tree, I blurted out, "Ten dollars."

"Will you take 5?"

"Sold!" I happily handed her the tree and went about hauling things out the back door next to her table. I stopped on my way back in so she could pay me and she handed it back to me.

"I just realized I have no way to get this home. It won't fit in my car."

"Where do you live? I'll drop it off!" I did NOT want to take it home again and I excitedly leaned in toward her.

A look of fear came over her and she backed up a few steps, shaking her head. "No, th-that's okay. Thanks, anyway."

C' know what I said..with a big smile on my face....."Shove it up your ass."

C Cleveland

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Today I wanted to share with you one of my favorite places to visit in town. The Cleveland Museum of Art. The museum was founded in 1916 and includes over 40,000 works from around the globe. It's one of the nation's top museums and offers educational programs, film festivals and family events to benefit the community. The lagoon and front steps are a favorite backdrop for wedding photos. Best of all, admission is still free.

It's currently undergoing a $350 million dollar renovation that began in 2005 and will be completed in 2012. The renovation will expand the museum to almost 590,000 square feet which is 200,000 more than it was before.

Here are some of my favorites.

The Armor Court

Cast of Rodin's "The Thinker"

On March 24, 1970, a bomb irreparably damaged the Cleveland Museum's version of Rodin's The Thinker. The bomb itself had been placed on a pedestal that supported the enlargement and had the power of about three sticks of dynamite. The museum decided to leave the statue in it's current condition instead of creating an entirely new cast as this was one of only ten casts that was cast and patinated by Rodin himself.

Albert Bierstadt

Pierre Auguste Renoir

Buddhist Tabernacle, late 1100's

Don Eddy

Claude Monet

Casket, Byzantium, 11th century

Gerrit van Honthorst

George Bellows

The new east wing, architect Rafael Vinoly

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