"What do you mean, you're out of Xanax?!"
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Sundays are my Secondhand day. I'm basically too lazy to think of anything new to say so I re-post a "vintage" entry.
If you aren't in the mood for repeats, please feel free to change the channel.
"Do you see what I see?"
Original post date: August 27, 2013
I'm a self proclaimed Gladys Kravitz and for those of you who don't know who that is, she was the nosy neighbor on the television show Bewitched, that ran in the late '60's until the early '70's. Gladys was always peeking out her window to see what was going on in the neighborhood.
I do the same thing.
If there's a car I don't recognize parked down the street or I see a police car's lights, I grab one of the dog's to "go for a walk" so I can see what's going on. We used to make fun of my mother for being like this but I guess the apple didn't fall too far from the tree.
And the fact that I watch far too many crime shows doesn't help things and it just points my imagination to the worst case scenario. I stopped watching these types of shows after Starsky and Hutch was cancelled and only recently started watching them again.
I used to think Starsky was dreamy and my sister had the hots for Hutch. She even bought David Soul's album. The things we do for love. At 12.
I was in my family room on Sunday when I looked up and saw a man just past my property line, bent down in the bushes and digging. There's a field behind my house so it's not that unusual for people to be there playing baseball or soccer.
But there were no games going on.
"Oh my GOD! He must be burying a body! And in the broad daylight. He must be on drugs."
I called Millie, threw a leash on her and "took her out for a walk."
I slammed the back screen door, hoping he would be startled and take the body somewhere else to be disposed of but he didn't hear it. He was on the far left side of the property so we walked along the far right side.
As we got closer, he stood up and I heard "beep.....beep....beep.....beep"
"Oh my GOD! He must have a bomb! Why does he have a bomb in broad daylight? Maybe he buried the body and now he's going to commit suicide by blowing himself up!"
There's a large patch of overgrown bushes at the end of my yard and so, Millie and I hid behind them and very slowly peeked around the hydrangeas, eyes wide open so as not to miss any details that I would later be reporting to the police.
This is what we saw.
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Okay, I'm not sure if anyone is left out there listening anymore but lots has been happening! Here are the highlights.
- I quit one of my three jobs (Hallmark store) but started working more at one of the others. I now work about 35 hours a week, although, everyone still thinks "I'm SO lucky because I only work part-time." Well, not really..
- I hired a "professional" to format my book for publication on Amazon. I got lots of quotes from all around the world but decided to go with the 'Murican.
- Big mistake. She kept submitting completely wrong versions to me and told me "I'm not a mind reader", even though I gave her the jpg's of the illustrations, the text in a Word doc and PDF sample of EXACTLY how it was supposed to look and it SO did not.
- Three weeks later (my fault for waiting so long), I told her I didn't have time for her to keep trying to get it right and that I wasn't going to pay her.
- She disputed it, escalated it to arbitration and then deleted all the evidence of her shoddy work before the arbitrator could see it. Duh.
- Did I prevail? Oh, yes I did! Booyah, bitch!
- Hired a guy from Romania who did the formatting correct the first time. Oh, and did I mention that it only took him an hour and half? Here's the link:
He Chose Me on Amazon
- I've been busily (is that a word??) sending copies of my book to shelters and rescues and I've been getting great feedback! I took a copy in to show co-workers and ended up selling a bunch.
- I'm super excited that this Friday I was invited to do a guest blog for a national senior dog organization, The Grey Muzzle Organization! They raise money and distribute it, via grants, to animal welfare organizations and rescue groups. All of their money is raised through public donations and goes toward helping to build programs around the country that meet special needs of senior dogs. The post will be on their website's blog and their Facebook page. I'll share it with you on Friday!
- I've lost 15 pounds! Still have a ways to go but I've tossed my fast food habit and I'm back at the gym 5 days a week. Baby steps...
- I have a new hairdo. See selfie below. Sorry it's so fuzzy. I think I have the one iPhone with a crappy camera. Hey, look! My chubby cheeks ain't as chubby anymore!
- Last, but not least, this past winter killed me with all the stinking snow and I've decided to make a MAJOR relocation move next year! I have to get all my ducks in a row so that's why my goal is next year. Some may call it a mid-life crisis (I just turned 48) but I call it a fresh start. You'll hear more about this as the year goes by. All I'll say is that I'm moving south....
I promise to catch up on all of your blogs this week! I've missed you guys!