Can I borrow that rainbow flag for a few days?

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I got an email from my friend, Kara, yesterday. She sent me two pictures of a handsome guy with the note, This is someone I used to know that I've been in touch with again. Not sure where it's going...

No big deal, you say, these things happen all the time.

Yes....Only Kara has been seeing someone for over a year and they just moved in together, blending their children into one big happy family.

And Kara is gay.

Or is she? She's been in relationships with men before, but since I met her two years ago, she's only dated women.

Maybe I should think about switching teams, too, if it's that easy.

I mean, we've all experimented. Right, girls?

Who hasn't kissed a girl when you're shitfaced and drunk on the dance floor and all the guys are staring at you?

And who hasn't strapped one on and rode their college roommate until she screamed for you to stop? No? Really??

My friends probably wouldn't be too surprised if I introduced them to my new girlfriend, especially since they've had to deal with my "girl crushes" over the years.

My first love was Kim Basinger in 9 1/2 Weeks. It was 1986 and she played an art gallery assistant who has a chance meeting with a wealthy man that leads her into this wildly erotic and controlling relationship.

They were both so gorgeous, I didn't know which one of them to look at on the screen. I was in awe of how beautiful she was and I couldn't figure out if I wanted to be with her or if I just wanted to be her.

Then came Baywatch and my girl Pam Anderson. Kim who? The bigger the hair and the trashier she looked, the better. My birthday gifts were easy in those years because they usually involved a video of Pam and later, Tommy, in some state of undress.

As you can see, I have a penchant for blondes but I really just thought it was a passing phase when seeing Kim or Pam no longer stirred those emotions in me.

And then I saw Tomb Raider with Angelina Jolie. I realized that it wasn't that I no longer had latent homosexual tendencies. It was that I wasn't attracted to aging starlets. I likes 'em young.

Of course, Angie having all those babies and adopting her own UN Council is a turn off so she's dead to me.

And, of course, these little fantasies are fun but I'm all talk and I would never go through with it. Just in case..Can I borrow that flag, please?

28 comments

  1. OMG, Chrissy...you're a PISSER!

    I love it!!!!

    I think it's so wonderful how women can be so openly honest about having "girl crushes." I use to work with beautiful girl who would constantly tell me about her crushes on female stars (Christina Aguilera ) being one of them. She was straight, but had girl crushes all the same.

    The longer I live, the more I realize that there is not only black and white to sexual preferences, but also gray - that space in between.

    But let me tell you...

    ..being a gay man, it's not easier with the same sex.

    Trust me!*?!

    Great post!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Ron,

    You're so right about how sexuality can be gray. That scares a lot of people.

    I don't understand people who can't appreciate the beauty in someone of the same sex. It won't make you gay, people!

    Yes, Kara and I have had very open discussions about this and she says the same thing. Drama is drama is drama.

    Thanks for your insight~ :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Am I the only woman on earth that's never kissed a girl? I get shit-faced drunk all the time.

    Yes to Kim and Angie. Pam Anderson, not so much.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Pucker up, Baby. I've never kissed a brunette! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm proud to say I bought you that Pam Amderson video.....

    and WITH the TV if my memory serves me correctly!

    :-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yes! You were the one who bought that video!

    AND the housewarming gift TV. You're a true Sugar Mama and I am your bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  7. That's quite a large rainbow flag you're looking to borrow. Wouldn't you be more comfortable starting with one that wasn't almost two stories tall?

    That thing would block out the sun in my house. Neighbors would think I'd killed my wife and renounced pants.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Too funny! Well, I want people to know I'm serious. For a few days...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Well, that's a nice post!

    I too had a lot of girl cruses.. Well, top of them are those hollywood actress.. But most of my crushes are from our School or some acquaintances.. Well, there's nothing wrong when you get attracted to girls.. I mean, why can't I? I just know how to appreciate beauty, that's all.. And that doesn't mean that I am gay or lesbian or whatever it is..

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi Bhing,

    Exactly! Thanks for stopping by~

    ReplyDelete
  11. "And who hasn't strapped one on and rode their college roommate until she screamed for you to stop?"

    This is the hottest thing I've ever read in my life.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I bet you say that to all the girls...

    ReplyDelete
  13. [sniggers] Well THAT triggered a lot of comments for some reason. I've always been mildly amused by mens liking for lesbian porn combined with homo/bi phobia with respect to men.
    And, at a complete tangent, from overheardinnewyork: Guy, coming across (male) friend watching lesbian porn - [disgustedly] "No cock? That is SO gay..."

    ReplyDelete
  14. Yes, I'm late to reading this, but had to comment.

    I'd like to borrow the flag. I'm a lesbian living in suburbia, so I want to see what happens when its flying from the front lawn (I should do that anyway, just to get a homeowners association letter. Would probably be more exciting than the two they sent about the tree limb blocking the stop sign).

    But, back to your crushes. If you're over Jolie, understandable given all the babies popping out lately, check out Megan Fox. She's certainly the only reason to watch Transformers 2 (and honestly, maybe not enough reason to torture yourself through that movie).

    ReplyDelete
  15. Bran,

    You SHOULD hang that flag! Tell them you thought you were a member of the HOMOowner's association.

    I haven't actually seen Megan Fox in anything but I think she is the most perfect specimen on the planet! And she's got at least another 10 years in her. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  16. The French have a term, faute de mieux, which refers to what can be called a "serendipitious homosexuality" between normally heterosexual friends or acquaintances.

    So, let's say one finds themself caught in a delightfully warm rain, under a blossoming cherry tree, with one's rather lovely, soft-skinned, and pouty-lipped French psychotherapist who just happens to be of the same gender, well... who could blame you?

    Me, that's who. I could blame you, you filthy french minx. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Is it wrong that your example turned me on?

    ReplyDelete
  18. Is it wrong that I didn't get turned on until I realised Chris is male?

    And I want his wife. Anyone who wants a giant eagle must be FULL of interesting qualities...

    ReplyDelete
  19. Visiting from Ron's blog!

    Loved this post.

    Nigella... can I just say that I would leave my husband for her.
    OR
    if Rene Russo wanted to redo a few scenes from The Thomas Crown Affair... I'm her girl.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hi Crystal Chick,

    I had to look up Nigella. She IS a yummy treat.

    And yes, Rene Russo is a no-brainer. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hi Ergun,
    Thanks for stopping by!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Interesting stuff, ladies. See you all "bi and bi."

    ReplyDelete
  23. I'm in love with Pink if I had to pick one... no idea why, but if she asked I would turn gay...

    ReplyDelete
  24. @Chele,
    She scares me a little. Prepare to be dominated.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I love this post. I, too, had my "college years"... only they were actually my "military years"... Shit faced, not shit faced, whatever... Ended up married (to a man... a black one...) and now my husband wonders why he couldn't have come along a year or two earlier, before my "girl phase" was completely over. He's a bit jealous of the fact that OTHER people may have been witness to some of that stuff, and not him.

    Even though I am happily and faithfully married, I still girl crush on a daily basis. You know how everyone has those "lists" of people on tv who "If they had a chance..." Well 3 of my 5 are girls. Big woop. That's good stuff. Right?

    ReplyDelete

C'mon, you know you want to say it..

Blogger Template created by Just Blog It