Secondhand Sunday

Sundays are my Secondhand day. I'm basically too lazy to think of anything new to say so I re-post a "vintage" entry.

If you aren't in the mood for repeats, please feel free to change the channel.


"LUNCHES WITH LISA"

Original Post Date, January 20, 2010

My sister, Lisa, has a fondness for character watches. Some have musical alarms or funny voices. Luckily, in the medical field, you can wear quirky watches or goofy scrubs and no one blinks twice. In fact, both can be great conversation pieces to calm otherwise anxious patients. This story is not reflective of that benefit.

A few weeks ago, Lisa decided to wear her Pepe le Pew watch. She was filling in for another medical assistant and so, was working with an attractive, 40-something female physician. A 29 year old male patient was coming in for a hemorrhoid procedure and as a medical assistant, it is Lisa's duty to hold different body parts down or shift them so the physician has an optimal view.

As one might expect, in this case she was to spread the patient's buttocks as he knelt on the exam table, bent over at the waist. The patient was in perfect position and the procedure started. Once it starts, it's imperative that Lisa hold that position. A few minutes in, she was asked to hand the physician an instrument so she carefully removed one hand and reached over her other arm to retrieve it.

As she did, she grazed her watch and must have flicked the sound button. The soothing sounds of Pepe le Pew serenading his lover resonated in the room.

"I'm in the mooood for looooove...simply because you're near meeee. Funny but when you're near meee...I'm in the mood for loooove."

As it was going through the first verse, Lisa very calmy said, "Um, it'll just play one more verse. Sorry about that..."

The patient never showed up for his follow up appointment and hasn't been heard from since.