Secondhand Sunday

Sunday, October 25, 2009

I've decided to make Sundays my Secondhand day. I'm basically too lazy to think of anything new to say so I thought I would re-post a "vintage" entry.

If you aren't in the mood for repeats, please feel free to change the channel.



My first foray into the medical field was working as a secretary for an ophthalmologist. I had no medical background and each patient call I received those first few weeks caused my anxiety level to increase as I wondered if I would be able to address the problem on the other end of the line.

To make matters worse, there must have been a new operator on the phones because I was constantly answering calls that had been routed to me in error.

Ring! Ring!

"Good Morning, Dr. Paul's office. How may I help you?"

"I need to see the Doctuh. I gots pain real bad," the drunken sounding man yelled into the phone.

"What seems to be the problem, sir?"

"I said, I gots pain real bad. And there be pus comin' out a my ahss," he slurred.

"I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong department."

"No! I got pus coming out of my ahss. Ain't you lisnin' to me?"

I no longer thought that this was an incorrectly routed call but a drunken prank. How dare he tell me that he has pus coming out of his ass! What kind of a sick joke was this?

"Sir, I think you have the wrong department."

"No. I'll come over there and show it to ya. There's pus in my ahss."

"Is this a joke? Sir, I do not want to see pus coming out of your ass.""

"Ass? I didn't say ass. I said, ahss. I have pus coming out of my ahss."

"Did you say eyes? There's pus coming out of your eyes?"

"Yeah, thas what I said. Pus in my ahss."

"Oh. Well, why didn't you say so? Hold, please."

It took me 5 minutes to stop laughing before I could get back on the phone and make his appointment.


  1. Hee Hee!!! Good one Chrissy... Thats just too funny

  2. ha. I guess the pus coming out of his ass screwed up his diction? ha.

  3. Uh well, it did sound like ass! That really woul've been the wrong department! Thanks for the morning pus post! Just what I want before breakfast! YUMMY! LOL

  4. How funny. I can sure see how you thought he was saying ass.

  5. I would have lasted about one more minute on that job.

  6. Now, now, that was a real funny one. It's worth the repost. I would've missed it otherwise.

  7. Bwa ha ha ha ha!! I followed a link over and am glad I did. Thanks for the laugh. Can't wait to read more.

  8. OMG! LOL....I'm going to be saying that in my head the rest of the evening!!!

  9. LMAO!! I have a hard time understanding accents on the phone, too. And I live in KY so they are heavy.

  10. @JW.BW,
    I thought I was gonna die.

    hee hee! Yes, something like that.

    @Mark Price,
    Yes, it was.

    Did you eat your eggs runny?

    Thank you. It was an honest mistake.

    I think I lasted about 10.

    @Cynica Sarcastamos,
    That's how I was. And I just couldn't stop.

    I knew it would make people chuckle.

    Hey, good to see you!

    Oh, good. Glad to help.

    It's terrible, isn't it? And you can only say, excuse me? so many times..

  11. he...he... great story!!! I needed the smile today ~ thanks!

  12. OMG, that is too funny. I don't think I would control myself.

    Love your blog.

    Came over from Lee The Hot Flashes Queen

  13. OMG! I am going to be walkin arund all day talking about things coming out of my ahas... my friends and family thank you. THis reminds me of the time I ordered chinese food and the lady on the phone said it was going to be "twa mawwwe."
    It took me 5 minutes to realize I would be eating in about 'twenty minutes.'


  14. Could you have just got the doctor to fit a pair of glasses to his buttocks until he learned to speak properly?

  15. @lioness,
    Glad you were amused!

    @Ms. Bibi,
    Thanks! Welcome!

    @Monique Danger,
    I kept reading that over and over, thinking, WHA? How do you get 20 minutes from that? Funny!

    I'll suggest that next time. And then you'll have to give me a new job. :-)


C'mon, you know you want to say it..

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