What are you gonna do?

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I've never been what you would call a neat freak. My house has more of a "lived in" look to it. A stray magazine, an emery board or a half empty can of Diet Coke on my desk don't send me running to close the curtains in the event that someone knocks on my door. Unless, of course, it's Jim.

Lately, however, my house has started to look like it could be featured in an episode of Hoarders. I've been trying to weed through stuff I haven't used in the three years since I moved in but all I ever seem to do is shuffle things from room to room because I "might need these someday."

I'm ready to grab a big garbage can, leave it at the door and chuck things into it. I have piles of "this can go to the Goodwill", "I can try to sell this on eBay", "I'll give this away on Freecycle." But you know what? Those things never happen and then the stuff sits. And sits. And sits.

It starts to work on your psyche after a while. There's lots in my life that I have no control over right now and this just makes me feel powerless, too.

There always seems to be a correlation between how messy my house is and how out of control my life feels. Things are really crazy at work and my father just got a bad health diagnosis. Two things that I have absolutely no control over.

I remember my grandfather used to say, in Turkish, "iste bu"(eeshteh boo), which roughly translated means "that's it...what are you gonna do?" In other words, you can't change it, so just let it be.

I do have the wisdom of age that tells me I can't alter what people think or feel, just how I react to them. And conventional medicine plays a part in everyone's health but the final decision is in God's hands.

I think I'll just tunnel my way to the bedroom now to get some rest.

Iste bu...


  1. My mom's house was like that, tunnel and all. Grew up determined not to do the same. Somewhat succesful. There are pangs of regret sometimes when I do toss something out.

  2. Im sorry your Dad is going through all of those things. I cant begin to imagine how scary that must be. Hang in there. You do have control over some things, but in all honesty, some things are just not worth losing sleep over. Like a coke can on your desk. Hang in there!!

  3. My mom was a pack rat and I vowed I would not become the same way. I now have a rule - if it hasn't been used in a year - out it goes, no exceptions. Sometimes I have regrets, but I get over soon enough.

  4. Sounds like a good plan. I always thought tidy houses were overrated anyway.

  5. Control is something none of us truly have, it is a figment of our imagination. Try and let go as best you can. Hoarding is a false sense of control, it gives you the "power" to hold on to certain things while at the same time you are losing the grip on something or someone else. I don't know if you're a believer in a higher power or not but try and give it to God. Easier said than done I know.

  6. Sorry chica! I'm a chucker. If I can't think of an immediate use for something I'll chuck it. Don't Freecycle; don't E-bay. Use it or trash it. My sister - hoard it so you can die under it when the pile falls over. To each his own!

  7. Oh, Chrissy... You're obviously a CatLady just waiting to be born.

  8. I spent the entire weekend going through old boxes and drawers and threw out 16 30 gallon trash bags. It does feel good to get rid of some of my clutter.

  9. I've got a few inches of space left in my basement that I haven't filled yet with 'stuff I might need'. You can store it here!
    You never know...I might need it!

    Hope pops is doing okay.
    YOU too...

  10. I whole heartedly agree with the "lived in" look of a place - that's how a home should be, you should be able to feel that someone lives there..

    .....and I hope your father feels better soon. Iste bu - your grandad makes a good point, although it's hard to cope with these things..


  11. @R. Jacob,
    My mother's house was/is neat as a pin. I love throwing things on the floor when she comes over just to horrify her.

    Thanks, Jessi. :-)

    @Travel Girl,
    I think I keep things BECAUSE my mother would never let me.

    Thank you. I knew I liked you.

    Let go, let God. Like you say, easier said than done.

  12. @Sarah,
    If I give you the keys to my house, will you come and chuck it all!

    HA! I know.. :-)

    @Peach Tart,
    You're my hero.

    Yes, I think you're worse than me.

    Long day here.. :-(

    Believe me, I'm trying.

    I can't stand houses that look like furniture showrooms.

    Thanks, sweetie!

  13. Because I live in a studio apartment it's so easy for my place to look cluttered fast. I have to store things away like a jigsaw puzzle in here.

    I learn the greatest words from your posts,
    Chrissy. I remember you mentioning a word (I think it was from your grandmother) on your fabulous post about the sidewalk sale you had in the spring.

    Iste bu...gotta remember that one too!

    Sending a BIG hug your way, my twin!


  14. Aw, sweetie! I leave things in the corner for SO LONG, I don't even see 'em anymore...they just blend right in.
    You REST...that's more important now.
    Your STUFF isn't going anywhere....


C'mon, you know you want to say it..

Blogger Template created by Just Blog It