Secondhand Sunday

Sunday, September 27, 2009

I've decided to make Sundays my Secondhand day. I'm basically too lazy to think of anything new to say so I thought I would re-post a "vintage" entry.

If you aren't in the mood for repeats, please feel free to change the channel.


Let me give you a little insight into why I’m single. I just received a text message from a 41 year old guy that I met on a few months ago. I’ve been on and off for a few years now. Okay 7 years, but who’s counting? Well, one day I came across a banner ad touting this FREE dating site. And you know how much I like free…

I haven’t really dated much in a few years. My most recent relationships were with guys I met on line who were about 10 years older than me. The last serious one broke up with me in an email after 10 months. Yep. Email. Ten months. He was 45.

I became casually acquainted with this girl at work last year and through conversations, we realized we were both the same age. (I would guess I was younger, but I digress) I had single guy friends and she had single guy friends so we figured let’s throw everyone in a room and see if anything sticks, so to speak. We went out right before Valentine’s Day, sort of an anti-Valentine’s Day gathering. I wasn’t really interested in meeting anyone, I was more excited about seeing my friends.

Long story, short, I met this great guy and we went out for a few months. We really connected and I loved spending time with him. I’m past planning my wedding by the second date and I don’t go into things with unrealistic expectations. I knew he really wasn’t over his ex girlfriend but we were having fun so I wasn’t worried about how long it might last. We seemed to have found a great level of friendship and mutual respect. And he was hot.

Then he broke up with me in a email. An email. A 42 year old man broke up with me in an email. It was sort of convoluted in its message. "I want to take a little time for myself and see where I'm at.....I care about you and respect you".....I even sent it to my sister, Lisa, and said. “Did he just break up with me?’ ‘Um, yes. Yes, he did.” A few email exchanges later revealed that the real reason was that he wasn't over the last chick. Well, then just say that.

I thought men were evolving, getting more in touch with their feelings, being more communicative. Um, no. No, they’re not. And this information age just makes it easier for wimpy men to be wimpier.

Back to the text I got tonight. I met this manly man firefighter in September-ish and we went out a few times. I got the feeling that he wasn’t really into me and he proved it by disappearing for long stretches only to text me “What’s up?” a month later.

If you want to go out, say “Would you like to go out?” Don’t ask me all these questions around the question you want to ask.

Emails…text messages…I can’t take it anymore. Pick up the damn phone! You’re on the phone texting anyway. I blame the feminists for this. I’m as independent as they come, but c’mon, a little chivalry is nice and romance is very flattering. I’m afraid we’ve created men who are afraid we’ll say no and more afraid we’ll say yes. I half expect a guy to pull my hair in line at the grocery store if he’s interested.

This is why I spend so much time with my dog, Bernie. I can say "Bernie and I had a great weekend. Bernie and I went to the Hamptons" and no one is the wiser. Well, we haven't actually gone to the Hamptons , but it's our dream. You get my point.


  1. Chrissy, I found your blog from Theresa's blog.

    I am a 50 something single for 18 years Mom who has tried fishing, too. At least it is free; I will never again pay to fish:)

    Enjoyed this post; I will be back to read more when my life slows down a bit.

  2. That's too bad, Chrissy. Maybe you should try dating a gorilla, we're always pretty upfront about what we want from a female.

  3. Chrissy,
    You can quote us when we say, "This is total BS!"

    These aren't real guys. We're not sure what they are, but solving relationship issues or breaking up with someone via email or text is the most ridiculous thing we've heard. It's basically cowardly and the mark of someone who is a juvenile.

    These guys may be hot men on the outside, but they're hardly real men on the inside.

    We're not sure if you even care, but someone with your smarts, wit and looks will definitely meet someone who will finally step up to the plate.


  4. Dumped by email? Classy. You're much better off with Bernie. There have got to be some real men out there. Maybe The Guy with the Perspective can set you up.

  5. It's sad that people hide from reality by not taking care of matters like that Personally.

    Cowards, all of them.


  6. @Phillipia,
    I know. I can almost justify it as long as I'm not paying for it. Thanks for stopping by. Hope to see you again!

    @Gorilla Bananas,
    I'm game! I'm Armenian so the extra hair won't bother me at all.

    @The Guys,
    That's so nice of you to say, thanks. I think the pretty boy thing is my problem. I'm like the guy who dates the hot chick and then is annoyed that she's stupid.

    Yep, I can pick 'em, alright!

    I agree. Such incredible disrespect.

  7. None of 'em are good enough for you. The guy that IS, will blow the others away. And you'll think, "Where the HELL have you been?"

    I'm sure of it.

  8. I so agree with Kathryn. Not "if" but "when" you find that right guy, he's gonna so totally rock your world. And trust me, the right guy, is worth waiting for.

  9. @Kathryn,
    Aw, thanks, Sweetie. I'm not holding my breath.

    You guys are very optimistic, thank you. :-)

  10. After my husband died and I got back into the dating world, it was so different. I kept attracting stalker types from all those websites. Much preferred the company of my dogs too. Then, I found Eharmony and my dreams came true. Okay, I had to wade through a couple of stalkers there too but then I found true love.
    Maybe our pheromones were compatible.

  11. @Mountain Woman,
    Sounds like your pheromones WERE compatible. So happy you love the second time around. I've never tried eHarmony.

  12. I hear ya Chrissy. I got dumped on MSN and then there was one guy, who after five dates, stood me up, didn't call, didn't text. So I emailed him and told him a speck of dust had more integrity than he did. Of course, I got no response, but I felt better.

  13. @Scribe,
    What is wrong with these guys?? Good for you!

    I say, If you want me to go to hell, just say it to my face. Pussies.


C'mon, you know you want to say it..

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