Like meeting your man at the door.
Naked.
Wearing a trench coat and f-ck me shoes.
Then if you're lucky, the shoes barely touch the floor at all.
You see what happened on Friday when I wore my new, fun "big girl" pumps.
Yes. Higher than usual but oddly comfortable. You know. Until I fell.
In my defense, I probably would have tripped in any shoe I was wearing. This way, I just had a longer distance to fall.
Since I wasn't doing much walking around this weekend, I went online to try to find some sensible pumps to wear to work. Can I just tell you, they're virtually non-existent? I don't want nun shoes, for God's sake! I mean, for goodness sake. And I don't want stripper shoes, either.
I want a happy medium between "I've taken vows of chastity, obedience and poverty" and "which way to the stage".
You can usually find a nice work shoe when you do a search under "pumps". These are the pumps I found:
Look at the heel on these!
How is this a pump?
Can you see me walking into a staff meeting wearing these? Maybe a staff meeting with my ho's.
Why are they all peekaboo pumps? Maybe my toes don't want to play peekaboo.
Good Lord. A slingback is not a pump. It's a slingback!
I wonder if these shoe companies take requests?
Excuse me, Miss? Can you make a shorter heel, please?
What??
You didn't think they only made clothes, did you?
You wouldn't BEIEVE the heels on the French gals here!! I'm in total AWE sometimes and I guess they have obviously never had back or knee injuries like me that prevent me from wearing the kind of heels I used to were pre-injured body!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for posted about this... Loved it!!
Take care,
Leesa
Ha ha! I hate shoe shopping. There, I said it, I'm a woman and I hate shoe shopping.
ReplyDeleteCole Hahn Nike Air--any of their pumps (although I am partial to the peep toe ;-). Most comfortable shoe you will ever wear. I'm 5'10" and also don't want/need a 5" heel, so I'll vouch for their "normal" heel height as well. A little expensive, but well worth it.
ReplyDeleteBwhahahahhahahahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteBwhahahahahahahahaahaha!
Chrissy, I laughed my ass off all the way through this post!
"You didn't think they only made clothes, did you?"
OMG...HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You rock, girl!
X
My sister and I had a conversation this morning on how ugly shoes are today and you posted some pics of what we were talking about. I can't wear sexy shoes without a good amount of pain and or a fall that will cause more pain. It makes me feel better knowing that I am not missing much in way of shoes today because most of them are so ugly.
ReplyDeleteOh my, I have a total weakness for shoes. I love them. I totally believe that a pair of spectacular shoes can make an outfit. My life would not be the same without gorgeous heels. Sorry, I might be in the minority here...
ReplyDelete:)
Hey Chrissy! Yeah, peekaboo heels everywhere. And boots! What's up with THAT? Not a solid pointy toe in sight. By the way, if I'm in the area, I'll pop by with ice and chocolate, ya poor bunny. Love to Bern! Indigo x
ReplyDelete@Leesa,
ReplyDeleteI can just imagine what those cool French women are wearing. Hey, you look just as cool in your flats!
@One Blonde Girl,
Thank you! I thought I was the only one.
@Teresa,
I didn't know you were so tall! I always wanted to be 5'10 like my idol, Brooke Shields but I only reached 5'9. Thanks, I'll have to check them out.
@Ron,
Hey, I believe in giving credit where credit's due.
@Funny Girl,
Yes! They're awful. Thank God I'm not young or I would probably have to succumb to the pressure.
@Poindexter,
My girlfriend is the same as you. I actually envy that she has no back problems or bunions and can get away with it! Although, I feel just as confident in a stylish patent loafer. :-)
@IndigoWrath,
Ah..a man who notices shoes.
Deal. You bring ice and chocolate and I'll bring my A/C!
@
The engineering of the shoe with the chain doesn't seem to make any kind of rational sense. Regardless, it's somehow sexy to me.
ReplyDeleteOoooh! I love those red ones! Unless you're wearing orthopaedic shoes, it's tough to find a good pair you can walk in.
ReplyDeleteC. Andres Alderete,
ReplyDeleteAnd so they will continue to be produced. Can't you find sensible shoes sexy?
@nitebyrd,
I do love the red patent if they weren't so high. I would sprain my ankle (yet again) for sure!