My long weekend of F-U-N

Monday, July 5, 2010

Happy day after the Fourth of July!

I'm sure a bunch of you are off today since the holiday fell on a Sunday this year. Except you retail folks. You have my sympathies.

I'm writing this on Sunday night with Bernie lying by my feet, frantically panting at the popping sound of illegal fireworks going off a few doors down. Today was a horribly hot and muggy day which turned into a horribly hot and muggy night.

Bernie spent the whole day lying next to the register, with the air conditioning blowing on her.

I love fireworks but I refuse to head to a park and cram myself next to a bunch of hot, sweaty people for a few minutes of ooo's and ahhh's. Not that I would want to do any amount of walking right now anyway.

Friday night, I took my mother grocery shopping right after work and before I went home, I decided to water the flowers I had planted in her yard last week. I had Bernie with me and apparently, in her former life, she must have had a bad watering hose experience, because she's scared to death of it.

I guess I wasn't thinking about that as I dragged the hose out of the garage and started to water the flowers. Bernie made a beeline for the street so I dropped the hose and started running out in the street to get her.

Mind you, this was the first day in MONTHS that I was wearing high heels.

I carried Bernie back across the neighbor's tree lawn, which I came to find, had a HUGE hole in it. Of course, I stepped in it and twisted my ankle.

I thought I had steadied myself, but Bernie is 43 pounds and she threw my equilibrium off. The high heels didn't help. She went flying head first and I smashed down on both knees. My dress was up around my hips and I looked around to see if any neighbors were out. There were some people outside a few doors down and I can't imagine that they didn't see me fall but they made no attempt to ask me why I was lying on the grass with my dress up around my hips. Bastards.

Bernie was fine, thank goodness! Just a scrape on her chin where she slid across the grass. I wasn't so lucky. I sprained my left ankle, twisted something in my back and killed my knee.

The first thing I thought was, How am I going to do my Jillian workout??

I could hear my parents arguing in the house, oblivious to my misfortune. I hobbled to my car and spent the rest of the night icing my ankle, my right knee and then my left knee. They say you're supposed to keep a sprain elevated.

Is this high enough?

As if my feet aren't ugly enough, now I need to deal with this. And the purpley, blackey, bluey bump on my knee looks great against the pale backdrop of my skin. Needless to say, I couldn't do my workout. I couldn't go jogging. I couldn't do much but an upper body workout.

Oh. And a nice long nap.

Hope your weekend wasn't quite as traumatic as mine.


  1. Ouch! Hope you're feeling better soon. Stay cool and keep that leg elevated.

  2. Let's List what bernie is now afraid of.
    Garden Hoses
    Your Moms house.
    Being chased down the street by hot chick in Dress and high heels.
    Being carried down the street by hot chick in Dress and high heels.
    Pot hole diving.

    What Moms neighbors love on the 4th.
    See list above.

    Sorry to make light of your pain. Hope you feel better this morn. Get well soon.

  3. I think your mom's neighbors blogged about you. I could have swore I saw a picture somewhere of a lady on her butt with her dress above her head! :o) Keep it up high like that, I'm sure it's a form of yoga or something...

  4. This is our first 4th of July in our new house, and we discovered that we can see three different local fireworks shows from our back deck. It was awesome, and the dogs didn't get scared at all. In fact, Munson seemed to dig it.

  5. @Travel Girl,
    Thanks. Hung out in the A/C all day!

    @Simply Suthern,
    No, you're right. It is funny! I've become very proficient at wrapping my ankle since I've sprained it at least once a year in the last 4 years. And I thought my knees were colorful yesterday. You should see them today!

    @Miss Nikki,

    Yes, I think it's called downward, upward doggy playing dead.

    Congrats on the new house! I know where I'm coming next year. :-)

  6. First, I want to say...I'm glad to hear you and Miss Bern are okay. Well, almost okay. Hope your ankle heals quickly. Are you doing some Reiki on it?

    OMG, Chrissy...hasn't the freakin' heat been HORRENDOUS? I have literally been spending the past few days indoors because I can't walk two city blocks without wanting to slap someone - HA!

    Today it reached 100 degrees!

    I can't wait for Fall!


  7. I held a bichon that wanted to be held but @ the same time wanted to RUN when the fireworks were going off, he is actually pretty good with them for a dog.
    The hose? I've gotten him wet by accident with the hose more than once now he RUNS when he sees me get near it, bichons are not normally fond of water....
    I can sympathize, I have claw marks on my thighs and it wasn't fun getting them.....

  8. First of all let me say that Bernie is so cute. I didn't realize you had a beagle. My dog too is terrified of fire works and waterhoses - what is ironic about this is that she is a Labrador Retreiver from Gun Stock. Figures.

    Hope your ankle is better soon.

  9. @Ron,

    I've actually been doing more of a full body Reiki and some knee focus cuz I can't reach my ankle. My back's too sore!

    Lord, I hope I don't kill someone in this heat. Think October thoughts!

    Poor baby, he had the whole fight or flight thing going on and you got stuck in the middle. Yes, WHERE are these dogs I hear about that actually like water. I have never had one!

    Thank you. Bernie's my baby. Maybe your dog is a sheep in Lab's clothing or something like that. Thanks, I'm healing pretty well. :-)

  10. So, did Bernie get hurt? All this time I thought she was a basset hound but they don't have knees.

  11. @C. Andres Alderete,
    You seriously thought she was a basset? Her ears are too short. She just got a little bloody. She looked at me like, What the hell was that?


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