Is chivalry dead?

Thursday, February 25, 2010

I'm about as independent as they come. I kill my own spiders, mow my own lawn and clean my own sink trap.

You heard that right.

I know what a sink trap is and I know how to clean it.

While I'm proud that I can take care of myself, I do appreciate small chivalrous acts. Just like the art of the compliment, boys, these simple things go a long way. And not just for your wife or girlfriend. Even perfect strangers will inwardly swoon at your respect for all females.

Since I work in a large hospital with a multitude of elevators, elevator etiquette is probably my biggest pet peeve.

Now, I understand that on occasion, there are emergencies that would necessitate a man running out of the elevator before me but, c'mon, they don't happen every day.

Here's the rule. Women exit first. The end.

Depending on the time of day that I get to work, I may run into the Russian professor who has a penchant for vests and elbow patch jackets.

"You look so nice today. The pearls are a nice touch," he'll say, as he holds the door open for me.

Or the nice, young resident who offered to carry boxes out for me when he saw me struggling.

Then there's THIS guy.

"Mister It's All About Me"

I began seeing him about a week ago. The first time was when we both started walking toward the double glass doors that lead you to the elevator on the roof of the parking garage.

I saw him glance back at me as he reached the door but he ignored the fact that I was nearly on his heels and let the door shut on me. I mumbled a "thank you very much" under my breath when I stepped inside.

He responded in some foreign tongue pretending he had no grasp of English, much like Akio Toyoda did in the Congressional hearings today. I'm sure both of these clowns could probably teach English as a second language.

To add more insult, when we descended the 8 floors to street level, he rushed past me to exit the elevator as I stood there, incredulous once more. And he's done this elevator bolt three more times in the last week.

That's not how you do it, "Mister It's All About Me."

Today, I got to the elevator before him. He was still a distance away but I kept looking back at him as I pounded on the down button.

"Hurry! Hurry!", I yelled to the elevator as I turned around again, feeling like a bank robber fleeing the po-po.

He was gaining ground when he dropped his keys.


"Hurry! Hurry, goddamn you!!" My heart pounded faster as I watched the numbers light up in succession.


As the door opened, I rushed inside and hit 1.

Close! Close!,
I shouted in my head, as I saw him coming through the doors, waving his arm.

"Hold the elevator!", he shouted.

I leaned forward as the doors were almost closed, "Qué?"

And THAT'S how you do it, "Mister It's All About Me."


  1. Oh hey, I clean my own lint trap too. heheThat was awesome.

  2. No Ma'am, Chivalry isn't dead, its only some people who don't care about it.

  3. I like you, Chrissy!

  4. I agree with you on chivalry, though the one thing I'll never do is give my seat up on the bus.
    *Read about my dating disasters at plentymorefishoutofwater*

  5. Hey Chrissy! Chivalry falls into the same political correctness bucket as paying compliments. It's something that us fellas had drummed out of us when we grew up in the Eighties and Nineties. Treat everyone the same, regardless of colour, race, creed, level of idiocy. Do not treat women differently from men. Keep your observations and compliments to yourself. I can see the logic of it; it was an attempt to straighten out a lot of totally inappropriate male behaviour. And if it succeeded, I applaud it on that basis. However, it's another pendulum that has swung too far. I find my own ground on this. I hold doors open for everyone, treat people as I find them rather than by hearsay or anticipating stereotypes, try not to ogle too obviously, and keep my compliments to myself until I am confident that they are both appropriate and would be welcomed. I get it wrong occasionally. But there's at least a thought buffer between brain and mouth, which is probably the point. As for this schmuck, well played, but I suspect he's rude to everyone, not just women; being an asshole is a vocation, and not a part-time thing ;> Indigo

  6. I had a guy tell me on a date the other day that in "these modern times" women shouldn't expect special treatment. I will not answer his calls now. =)

  7. That's how it's done. Hopefully he's learned a valuable life lesson - don't mess with Chrissy!

  8. Chivalry is not dead, it's just more reserved than it used to be. Only to be utilised by the more observant fellow :)

    p.s kudos on getting even ;)

  9. I'm not sure what's funnier- you talking to the elevator or saying "Que?" hehe

    Snafugirl xoxo

  10. Gawd, it's not even about chivalry, how about just common courtesy? Didn't his momma teach him ANY manners??? I hold doors for people younger than, older than, --you name it. And not limited to one gender, either. It's just about the old golden rule...

    Still, glad you nailed him, because his repeated rudeness called for it. You'll have to let us know whether he reforms!

    P.S. I used to change my own oil, too!

  11. I'm a door hold'en,opener upper, yes ma'aming, can I help you with that kind'a guy. It's how I was raised and it's what I do cause it's the right thing to do. Few folks say thank you and a few look at you like you are an idiot. I,ve held the door and 20 folk go thru before I get my chance. The wife and kid are inside , wheres dad? LOL The courtesy door swings both ways but I'll be happy to hold the door for you regardless. BTW nice job on the elevator. Did you hit all the floor buttons for it's return to the top?

  12. Hahaha! You go, girl!

    BTW, I see that you're missing the award JB gave you a while back in November. It was made for you, trust me. :)

    - Eddy

  13. Brava, girl!

    You're RIGHT!

    And I think it's not only about chivalry, but just common sense and courtesy. This goes back to what I shared about how so many people are not "aware" of one another.

    Personally, I'll hold the door open first whether it's a woman or a man.

  14. I was around when feminism was on the rise and I have experienced women's wrath and derision when I was only trying to be polite as I have been brought up to be. And sometimes when I suffer women's rudeness, it becomes hard to know which way to go.
    Some people want it both ways and only they know which way at any one time.

  15. And if only you could have got the door to slam on his head!

    I go for the be polite to everyone regardless of gender. Unless they were rude first in which case say something nice as they are buried!

  16. People like that guy make me CRAZY. They cop this attitude of "I'm sooo busy...and my time is TWICE as important as yours."

    I have to believe that The Universe catches up with self-absorbed people like him. But you know that if it does, he'll be totally clueless about it.

  17. It seems all male Beagles forget to behave chivalrously when they see food in front of them.


  18. @Wannabe Virginia W,
    Ah, I knew I liked you.

    I think you're right.


    Not even to a pregnant woman? Not even if you were the father?

    @Indigo Wrath,
    Dead on. I always say, Gloria Steinam went too far and ruined it for us. And yes, an a-hole is an a-hole is an a-hole.

    Yes, delete that one from your phone. Where have you been, sweetie?

    @Travel Girl,
    Yeah! Now I actually want to see him again.

    @Occasionally called Robbie,
    Glad to know it's still kicking around.

  19. @snafugirl,
    It was all good. :-)

    @Leah Rubin,
    You're absolutely right about the Golden Rule. Wow, your own oil? I bow to you now...

    @Simply Suthern,
    OH! I wish I had thought to push all the buttons!

    @Comet Girl,
    Thank you!

    Missed you! I remember it. I didn't post it because I'm bitter that it's using my blog name without my permission. I did thank her for it, though! :-) Kisses to JB.

    Yes! There are so many unaware, it's frightening.


    @Speaking from the crib,
    Hee hee. Don't mess with me, I say.

    @Gregory J,
    I know. It is a debatable issue.

    Well, we can't get TOO much on surveillance video.

    Thank you, sir.

    No, you're right. He'll get his.

    LOL! That is SO true!

  20. Beautiful! He deserved it! If the man is foreign, it's possible that he think women are beneath him. Unfortunately, some cultures still believe that their women are supposed to walk behind them & do everything for the men.
    I say, if you're in this country, you do as we do here! If you don't like it, go back!

  21. I agree with Simply Suthern. It seems chivalry and courtesy are taught uniformly in the South. I grew up in Tennessee. My Yonkers-native husband has to be reminded to do such things as take the elbow of an elderly aunt as she struggles to walk from car to door, to hold the door for me, to walk with me instead of running ahead, to help me on with my coat when I'm struggling, etc. I don't know if his mother taught him, or if he just didn't learn well!


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