Wouldn't it be good?

My 25 year high school reunion is quickly approaching and will be here in a week. In my panic to remove 10 years from my face in as many days, I started using an exfoliator a few days ago. Now if any of you have ever used exfoliators, you know that initially you break out like a teenager as all the impurities and embedded crap work their way out of your skin. I now look like the BEFORE picture in a Proactiv ad.

A few days ago, I saw two of the girls that I’m going to the reunion with and we talked about what we’re going to wear. One has the body and looks of a model and is going to wear skinny jeans. I don’t think skinny jeans would even fit over my arms! What the heck am I going to wear? Not that it matters since everyone will be looking at her anyway.

You know, I’m probably at a point in my life where I’m more secure than I’ve ever been; however, we all have moments where we feel like we’re still 14 years old and wishing we were someone else. I'm having one of those moments.

As I was getting ready for work yesterday, I lamented the fact that my skin is a mess and I’m still fat. On my drive to work, I was preoccupied with alternately looking at the zits on my face and studying the gray roots on my head. To matters worse, I got stuck on red at the longest traffic light in town. My annoyance with the light was exacerbated by the fact that I was running late and listening to some morning radio show idiots spew sophomoric drivel. Why were all these awful things happening to me?

I disgustedly reached out to punch a button and change the radio station. At that moment, I glanced across the intersection toward an elderly man as Howard Jones sang out the chorus to “Wouldn’t It Be Good?” (…"to be in your shoes, even if it was for just one day. Wouldn’t it be good if we could wish ourselves away..")

The man was hunched over almost to the waist. As he waited for the light to change to green, he became fatigued and sat down on the seat that was attached to his walker. His sparse hair was gray and he wore an oversized black coat. When the light turned green, I saw him slowly get up and pivot his whole body to the side to see if there was any oncoming traffic. As I passed him, he inched his way across the street while a blue plastic grocery bag slapped against the metal walker’s leg with each tiny shuffle he made. I wondered why someone hadn't given him a ride to the store.

I continued on to work and saw a man pushing a shopping cart piled with his possessions and then a Public Auction sign in front of a house with an overgrown lawn ("…wouldn’t it be good to be on your side, the grass is always greener over there. Wouldn’t it be good if we could live without a care….”).

At that moment, I felt overwhelmed with emotion as I realized how ridiculous I was being for getting upset over inconsequential crap. I'm very blessed to have the simple things that others long for; a place to rest to my head, friends and family who love me and a clean bill of health.

I can’t help it. I still wish I could fit into skinny jeans.