I suppose a book was inevitable in Sarah's future from the minute John McCain chose this rifle wielding honey as his running mate. I've seen her on a few talk shows as she does the circuit to promote her newly penned memoir. I must admit, I am curious about what's fact and what's fiction though not in regards to the McCain camp. I'm more interested in the disparity in stories between Sarah Palin and Levi Johnston.
In case you've been living under a rock, Levi is the hunky young man who impregnated Sarah's teenage daughter, Bristol. He was reported to be living in the Palin home until the baby was born but was swiftly removed when the engagement was called off.
So what's a baby Daddy to do but start going on talk shows and telling the real story about life in the Palin household? And what makes him even more believable? Posing naked for Playgirl.
The minute I heard that that Levi was going to expose a little redneck raciness, I took his every word as gospel. However, when I realized that he had wimped out and decided that full frontal nudity was out, I started questioning him again.
C'mon, Levi, there's nothing more honest than a man's junk. How could you tell us that you were going to show us the family jewels and then change your mind? How do you expect us to believe anything that you say? I'm very disappointed and I know that Playgirl's 60% male subscriber base is disappointed, too.
Well, maybe Playgirl will give you another chance to redeem yourself. If you can't do it for me, do it for your mother who's just been sent to jail for three years for drug possession.
Do it for Wasilla.
Damn it, boy, do it for your country.
Hey Chrissy! PLAYGIRL have been pestering me for ages. I told them, I'd do it for the fine folk who read my blog if I could think of some flimsy story excuse, but I'm damned if I'll do it for strangers. For less than ten million.
ReplyDeleteLead the way, Miss Chrissy! Or should I say, "Miss December"? Indigo
"Her reign would encourage participation by local fathers, casually placing meeting agendas on their laps to cover up their boners"
ReplyDeleteon this woman?? http://cornerstonegroup.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/sarah-palin.jpg
No wonder you're still single, girl. The masculine tastes on the other side of the pond need radical re-programming.
Your opinion of Palin is right on, and her appeal to men is accurate! I would pose, but it would scare women everywhere.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOMG, Girl - my favorite trainwreck - I mean subject. Narcissarah! How cool of you to bring her up.
ReplyDeleteI was just in a little debate yesterday (OK - everyday) about her abilities/motives/maverickiness, and I have a new question: If she can't ignore (AKA resist the urge to retaliate) a jabby - yet silly and pointless - tweet from Levi Johnston, imagine what she'd do as our POTUS if a world leader tweeted that she had a big butt or stinky feet (yes, she would absolutely kick off her Naughty Monkeys with VIPs in the Oval Ofc).
Yikes...
Anyhoo, I'm holding out for The Real Housewives of Wasilla. Or The Real Housewives of Missoula. Either way, as long as she sticks to book signings and leaves her crosshairs off of Penn. Ave, I'll continue to love her for the classless pitbull in lipstick that she aspires to be.
(Thankfully she has recently stated that book stuff is much more fun than politics. OK - good.)
FYI- here's what Webster's says about "ROGUE":
Main Entry: 1rogue
Pronunciation: \ˈrōg\
Function: noun
Etymology: origin unknown
Date: 1561
1 : vagrant, tramp
2 : a dishonest or worthless person : scoundrel
OK, I'll rest my case now. I'm sorry I ranted but I can't help it! (hey - you brought her up. thank you! :)
Chrissy (possible double post),
ReplyDeleteI don't know if being naked is the great harbor of honesty you claim. Last time I tried to convince a girl of something while naked, it totally didn't go my way. Granted, I had just been caught in bed with her sister, but still.
I have to admit, I don't see why people (right and left) make such a fuss about Palin. I feel like I have a very balanced view of her, and I don't see why she's so polarizing to everyone else. I don't personally believe she's stupid; I believe she was called up from the minors too early. Why can't liberals admit that she has loads of charm and charisma, though she may not be ready for the highest ranks in government, and conservatives grant her a position as a mover and shaker in the party, even though they can probably do better for a Presidential contender (*whispers quietly to self* Ron Paul, 2012). Or, as Jonah Goldberg put it last week in National Review: "Sarah Palin is neither savior (that job has been taken by the current president, or didn’t you know?) nor is she satanic. She is a politician, a species of human like the rest of us."
http://bit.ly/6rXFcz
"Her reign would encourage participation by local fathers, casually placing meeting agendas on their laps to cover up their boners."
Which got me thinking: Have you ever considered a role in politics? *Palin wink*
Toolbit out.
I'm gonna break my vow of objectivity with Sarah Palin. Usually I'll nod and say, ok, maybe she isn't as bad as everybody says, but I got beef with her. Damn it, she has no idea where Africa is! She thought it was in freakin' South America!!! *seething*
ReplyDeleteOk, objective again, I suppose she does have some *cough* strong points, maybe some *cough* hard proof is all we need of another side to her.
lol @toolbit "Last time I tried to convince a girl of something while naked, it totally didn't go my way. Granted, I had just been caught in bed with her sister, but still." that just cracked me up.
Sarah's hot. Who cares if she is brilliant. Wheres my meeting agenda?
ReplyDeleteAgree with "Toolbit"...
ReplyDeleteI pretty much turn a deaf ear when folks dismiss Sarah as stupid.
(The same folks that voted for the loser we have in office now, for heaven's sake!)
Who wrote Sarah's book?
Who wrote Obama's?
Who's the dummy?!!
Levi is a wuss... all talk and no action. How un-American is that! No wonder Sarah is pissed! They deserve each other.
ReplyDeleteThat needed to be said! good job!
ReplyDeleteMeeting agenda? If Palin were PTA chair, I'd have kids just to be near enough for her to recognize my vulgarities. But yeah, she's an idiot. What's his face is too. I didn't even realize he had a name. I've been referring to him as "the sleazebag who nailed Palin's hot daughter."
ReplyDeleteOMG...YOU KILL ME, GIRL!!!
ReplyDeleteC'mon, Levi, there's nothing more honest than a man's junk.
Bwhahahahahahaha!
Never been a big fan of Playgirl...not enough exposed "jewels."
And as far as Sara goes....AGREED. I personally think she should be selling Mary Kay Cosmetics.
She's so pretty.
GREAT post!
@Indigo Wrath,
ReplyDeleteDo it for your blog readers. Do it for your country damn it.
@Huck,
Really? You don't think she's a hottie in a soccer mom kinda way?
@R. Jacob,
Thank you. I doubt you would scare anyone.
@Cynica Sarcastamos,
Yes, thank you! A true Alaska girl would know better than anyone.
@Toolbit,
Hey, sisters are off limits, my friend. That's 101. I actually always aspired to be PTA president but since I don't have kids, it would just be creepy.
@Fierce,
Thanks for reminding me. I totally forgot about her geographic prowess.
@Mark Price,
Well, for a PTA prez, you're right. But Vice President?
@Greybeard,
I wouldn't start making those Palin in 2012 buttons just yet.
@CatLadyLarew,
I agree. He is a wuss.
@Dreamfarm Girl,
Thank you!
@C. Andres Alderete,
Levi Johnston. Remember the name. He's going to do great things. Hopefully, all naked.
@Ron,
Not enough exposed jewels? Playgirl.com, my friend. I'm just sayin'...
This guy will have his own reality show soon enough. If we're lucky he'll make a movie about time-travelling insurance auditors with that Perez Hilton character and Andy Dick.
ReplyDelete@Chrissy,
ReplyDelete"Hey, sisters are off limits, my friend. That's 101. I actually always aspired to be PTA president but since I don't have kids, it would just be creepy."
Just remember the Demetri Martin rule with children and you'll be fine: just don't be too specific. You can say "I love children," but you can't say, "I love ten year olds."
But enough talk about me getting caught with a girl's sister.
(Yeah, I went there. I saw the door and decided to walk through it anyways. These are only jokes people.)
Toolbit out.
@Chrissy No, love, definitely not. But it may be me.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, Sarah Palin is hot and that's the only reason I seem to be fixated on the tube when she is blabbing. But I wouldn't even consider her marginally intelligent.. at all .. Not because she is hot but because she can't put on lipstick, and those glasses i'm sorry ladies but what do they remind you of?! Reminds me not of a president. It reminds me of bill clinton getting his knob polished by monica. I mean I don't even think id hire her as an intern
ReplyDeleteI seen the levi thing -- he was on larry king one night and the whole show was him telling the cameras that his lawyer wouldnt let him talk, I think all he was able to say is yes it's my child, they got it locked up on an Alaskan island. Then after larry king shit, you got playgirl knockin' on your door, way to go bud.
We don't need pseudo good ole' boys/gals in the office playing their song about killing moose, fishing and shit. A good story but what does that prove? It proves that we havent quite reached that hurdle where more then a few can see through the lies and sympathy for the gun-wielding, baptist going, grandmas and grandpa's and if your a young republican.. well I wont waste my time, you make more money then me.
This is outrageous.
ReplyDeleteCan't we sue him...for breach of....something?
For getting our hopes up? (Insert pun here.)
As a Republican, Palin embarrasses me. She's the next Dan Quayle!
ReplyDelete