Help Wanted

Friday, July 31, 2009

I heard about a woman who was arrested in Georgia for running a strip club out of her basement. I thought this would be a great way for me to supplement my Lucky jeans addiction and I need your help in recruiting.

My basement is really small so I've decided to use my garage.

Auditions will be held today. There's a 90% chance of rain and since I have a pretty significant leak in my garage roof, please wear waterproof makeup for the finale of the routine.

All are invited to apply and we welcome diversity.


  1. I want to know where you found that picture of my husband. I thought he kept those in a "safe" place.

  2. Um...sorry, you had me up until the waterproof make-up. Since our Gottschalks decided to up and close down on me, I can't buy the good stuff any more. Darn, I was just about to sign up too.

  3. I can totally do the Flashback routine, except it looks more like the Chris Farley version from Tommy Boy.

  4. Um. But...I'll need a pedicure first. Unless I can wear crocs, or something equally waterproof. Wait. Is that self-tanning stuff waterproof? 'Cause otherwise, I'll come out looking like a (very sexy) striped tiger. Then, there's my hair....will blow dryers and straigtening irons be provided for later? I'm pretty sure I have a pole-dancing audition in the afternoon.

  5. Thank you for your inquiry. However, I shall not partake in the upcoming job fair for your garage/stripclub.

    Again, thank you for your interest.

  6. Sorry, I would love to but I doubt there's enough room in the garage for the flying flab & droopy, swinging boobs in my routine! LOL!

  7. I can do the flashdance on pointe....would that work for you and I have waterproof mascara too!

  8. @Travel Girl, I actually bought that at a garage sale.

    @Theresa, No problem. You can borrow mine!

    @Kim, I remember that version! Too funny...

    @Kathryn, blow dryers...straighteners...we don't need divas. Next...

    @Judge, Thank you. We'll keep your information on file.

    @Collette, You're in luck. My garage is a double for all us double wides!

    @Funny Girl, Perfect! That should class up the joint.

  9. Please count me in!

    And this is perfect, because the song that I strip to is....

    ...I Can't Stop The Rain by Tina Turner.

    HOT DAMN!!

  10. Ron,
    Awesome. I'll cue the music!

  11. Dang! I missed the casting call. :-P Nice blog!

  12. Send us your biocard and some nudie pics and we'll talk. Thanks for stopping by!


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