My what big teeth you have!

I was eating an apple tonight and bit my lip. In the same place that I've bit my lip at least three other times today and twice yesterday. I know people who occasionally bite their lips or tongue. I, on the other hand, do it constantly because my bite is so misaligned. I've even considered having my jaw broken and reset.

When I was young, the dentist suggested that I get braces.

"There's nothing wrong with her teeth, Jean, we aren't doing it," my father argued.

"Maybe there is, though," my mother replied.

"Ridiculous! They're just trying to make money. Crooks!"

Here's a picture of me as a child.



My parents were both Depression era babies and still think a loaf of bread should be a nickel. My mother isn't as bad as my father who thinks everyone is out to screw him. When I told him about Bernie and how much the tests were to diagnose her, his response was to get a second opinion to be sure the vet wasn't just trying to make money off us. Crook!

My father's frugality brings us back again to my continually swelling lip caused by my ridiculously uneven bite. I've always been a voracious masticator so it generally doesn't take more than one chomp to do damage. Once, I had bitten down so hard that I thought I was going to pass out from the pain of my self-inflicted wound. My lip swelled so large and turned so purple that when I went to work the next day, I lied and told everyone that my neighbor's dog had bit me. Woof.

Each time this happens, I touch my finger to my lip to check for blood, mutter "son-of-a-bitch" and then hold my finger out to gaze at my latest DNA sample. My father will still argue to this day that I have beautiful teeth because I never had braces.

Yes, I am glad that my teeth look relatively normal from the outside since all the damage lies inside where no one can see it.

Sort of like what happened to my soul. Thanks, Mom & Dad.