What are YOU watching?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I like porn. There, I said it.

And according to a report by President O (Oprah, not Obama, silly), one in three consumers of porn are women. This statistic doesn't really surprise me. What does surprise me is how few women are willing to admit it. It's nothing to be ashamed of, ladies. If anything, it's empowering to take control of your sexuality.

I know, I know. We were raised to act like good girls and not show interest in things of a sexual nature. Well, you know what? A man wants a lady in the parlor and a whore in the bedroom.

And what better way to learn how to do that than in the privacy of your own home with a remote control in one hand and the garden vegetable of your choice in the other.

Porn is not only educational but it's a great way for couples to spice up a romance that's become routine. Tonight, Howard can be mean manager and you can be incompetent office temp who must be spanked for messing up his DICKtation. Get it? DICKtation? I kill me.

I know some of you feel uncomfortable when your guy suggests a dirty movie from the back room of the video store because you're all worried that he'll compare you to the hot chick on the screen. Well, don't worry. There won't be any comparisons going on because what he will be doing is closing his eyes and/or leaving the lights off so he can fantasize that you actually are her. Who cares?

If you're in a solid relationship, you know that he loves everything about you, from the extra junk in your trunk to the little pooch in your belly. Basically, if his thing meets yours, you're good.

So start having some fun, thinking outside the box, pushing the envelope. I think you'll see the positive effects it has.

And if you're not in a relationship right now, might I suggest Candida Royalle's Eyes of Desire? Skip the popcorn.


  1. Huh. Such an unexpected topic....coming from a blog with the name "stripper" in it. I honestly didn't see this coming!

    And you forgot to mention how funny porn can be...since there's so much BAD porn out there.

    I wonder if there's much in the way of holiday porn? Maybe we can come up with some catchy titles....I'll bet we could! Just not now...I'm too tired.

    I'll sleep on it-

  2. Jeez...how come I never found a woman like you?

  3. Wow...I admit it...I like porn. Whew! Don't let my husband see this..he's a prude.

  4. I like porn. The hubs and I watch it together, and we watch it alone. :D We often tell the other about watching it alone.

    I personally like being naughty and nice. I am the most sexually fulfilled woman I know! Why you ask? Cause I don't have any hang ups about porn and the like!

    Great post Chrissy!

  5. love it.

    porn, and your post. a winning combination.

  6. Ha! I like it when women are so honest with themselves. So many women watch porn but if someone mentions it they act like the person's the devil incarnate!
    Love your honesty Chrissy, its so... I suppose comforting is the most appropriate word.
    Oh, and where did you GET that vegetable????!! If it can even be called a vegetable!

  7. So THAT's why I've always been secretly attracted to that shaped gourd...
    And here all along I just thought it looked nice on my porch for Fall decorations.
    Silly me.

  8. Hey, you said "...thinking outside the box." I get it!

  9. I like porn and I admit to it to my close friends but have never been able to any of my exes.. but you know what I can never watch porn... meaning I start watching it, get turned on, take care of myself and then I am done with the porn.. can't watch it after.. was that, TMI??

  10. LMAO I love the vegetable! That looks like a great gspot dildo!

    I used to sell sex toys and such for Pure Romance.

    I just posted an entry sometime last week about my dogs watching porn...I so needed that top picture for that post! LOL

  11. ah yes, I forgot to add my link. My profile only shows my photoblogs link...

    Here you go.


  12. Did somebody request Christmas porn? Ooh! Ooh! Can I play?

    Santa's North Pole
    Jingle Balls
    He Came Down the Chimney
    Ho Ho Ho
    I Saw Mommy Boinking Santa Claus

    Chrissy, Chrissy, Chrissy . . . who knew?

  13. Hey Chrissy, I missed this yesterday. So I'll add a big HELL YEAH to your own statement. I like porn too. *salutes stiffly* I'd tell you the names of my favourite movies, but they don't bear deconstruction, and say far too much about me. By the way, does Candida know she's named after a yeast infection? Indigo

  14. curiousity is normal.
    I like curiousity in the form of porn.

  15. This comment has been removed by the author.

  16. LOL!
    I'm ADD with regard to porn - here's me: watch for 2 minutes, blast off, done... Colbert.
    FYI - I recently read a quote by an actor (Robert De Niro?) who said something like, "Don't be ashamed of your body in front of your man. He's just happy to see you naked."

  17. I saw this Oprah and the whole time I was thinking "I have to get Jenna's book"... if just for the title alone!


  18. Does that mean she can't be a whore in the parlor too? If she was truly a nasty girl, her whoreness would rightly spill out of the bedroom.

  19. @Kathyrn,
    Well, yes, there is some very amusing bad porn. Holiday porn? I'll need to think about that one...

    I've been here all along.

    @Lee the Hot Flash Queen,
    Feels good, doesn't it? To admit it, I mean.


    @The Crazy Baby Mama,

    Yes, many women are in denial. Two words - Miracle Gro. :-)

    Why do you think Fall is my favorite season?

    HA! Um, yeah, that's what I meant. ;-)

  20. @Miss Over Thinker,
    I know. I often wonder why they're so long. 10 minutes, tops, I say.

    I'll have to check out your dog porn. Oh, that didn't sound right..

    @Mr. Knucklehead,
    You're so imaginative. I have so many secrets.

    @Indigo Wrath,
    Ahem. Do you I even make not of you "saluting stiffly"?

    @Stacie's Madness,
    You're so normal.

    @Cynica Sarcastamos,
    Funny! I had a guy friend tell me that once. "Don't sweat it. They're just happy that you're naked."

    @Monique Danger,
    I know! Wasn't it interesting that she shows some regret in regards to her kids but won't really admit it?

    @C. Andres Alderete,
    Good point. And yes, that whoreness can extend to any room in the house. A lady knows to keep plenty of Febreze on hand.

  21. Why would any woman feel insecure about her body compared to a porn star's? Unless she's also fake and plastic. If anything it's the man who should worry about comparisons. There's a big difference at Subway between the 6 inch and foot long.

  22. Hey Chrissy!

    Just wanted to let you know that I caught up with your posts, but wanted to leave my comment on this one!

    OMG...I LOVE YOU!!!!

    I happen to know MANY women who enjoy porn. I mean, why not? I think a lot people believe that because men are more "visual" porn doesn't appeal to women!?!? But to each his own, because I know many men who don't care for porn.

    (however, I'm NOT one of those men)

    I LOVE IT!

    So there...I said it too!

    I LOVED the photos you used for this post! The cat one is priceless! And I happen to know someone who is shaped like your last photo...

    ...his name Captain Dick Hook!


    FAAAABULOUS post, girl!

    Enjoyed them all!


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