Since my 45 year old sister and I work for the same institution, we have lunch together every day. It's nice to have a friendly ear to vent about whatever's going on in your day. Usually.
Here's a sample of some conversations with Lisa from last week.
Monday
Me: “I feel really tired today.”
Lisa: “Oh…you could be perimenopausal.”
"Right. I’m not perimenopausal. I’m just tired."
Tuesday
“I can’t believe how much weight I’ve gained in such a short period of time.”
“You know, that’s a symptom of being perimenopausal. You are in that age range.”
“I’m not perimenopausal. I’ve just been eating poorly.”
“Okay…”
Wednesday
“Does my hair look thinner to you? It feels thinner.”
“Could be. That’s a symptom of perimenopause. Have you noticed any hairs on your chin?
I whipped my hand to my chin, “No. I don’t have any hairs on my chin. I’m not perimenopausal."
“If you say so…"
Thursday
“I’m so out of it today. I just can’t seem to concentrate on anything.”
"Woops. That’s on the perimenopause symptom list, too."
"Whatever..
Friday
"I was so late this morning. I just couldn’t remember where I put my keys last night."
Shaking her head, "I hate to tell you this but that sounds like perimenopause. You know you’re in that age now."
"Listen to me, Lisa, and listen to me good. I am NOT perimenopausal! If I’m tired, it’s usually because I haven’t gotten any sleep. If my hair looks thinner, it’s probably because I styled it differently. If I’ve gained weight, it’s because I’ve been eating too much and not exercising. If I’m having trouble concentrating, it’s because I’m overworked.
If….IF I ever feel like I am "perimenopausal", I assure you, that you will be the first to know and I will even let you check off my symptoms one by one.
Until that day, if I’m making casual conversation and you feel the need to bring up your perimenopausal theory, I suggest that you think twice about it and then SHUT IT! Are we clear?!"
"Irritability and sudden bursts of anger. Classic perimenopause..."
Ah, the joys of being a woman. I have a younger sister. I will make a mental note now never to suggest to her in the future that she is perimenopausal.
ReplyDeleteOMG, Chrissy....you're a RIOT!!
ReplyDeleteHey listen, I think "I" may be experiencing perimenopausal because with the exception of weight gain...I have all these symptoms.
In my case it's called periMANopausal!
bwhahahahahahaha!
Great post, girl!
Well at least now I know whats wrong with me. You guessed it. I'm peri-man-o-pausal.
ReplyDeleteLMAO!!!!!!!! I shouldn't but I can't help it...oh, shit...I have to go and take my hormones!! I forgot while I was plucking my chin hairs and eating coffee cake.
ReplyDeleteSisters...(shaking head and making face like I just tasted dirty ass)
ReplyDeleteMine, she thinks she's funny too.
I feel more comfortable with "pre-Change of Life."
ReplyDeleteCould almost be perinauseating.
ReplyDeleteHa! I'm 47 and my sister is 45. Sounds like one of our conversations!
ReplyDeletePearl
Tired
ReplyDeleteThinning hair
Hair on my chin
Weight gain
I'm a 28 year old guy, and from those symptoms, it sounds like I'm premenopausal!
I am in that age range too. Might I be perimenopausal? No, I don't think so..., at least yet...
ReplyDeleteover your next lunch, mention that you got your period. that might shut her up.
ReplyDeleteI love this!
ReplyDelete(I always wanted a younger sister. Silly me.)
I look at it this way Chrissy, when it happens, we females can suffer in silence and come out on the other side with our dignity.
But the pre-MEN-o-pausals often end up with one newly infected pierced ear and a red corvette in the garage. Poor things. They just don't get that the corvette adds at least 50 pounds and an additional chin or two...
Peri who? Didn't he sing 'Catch a Falling Star'?
ReplyDeleteCore blimey, Chrissy that was an ace post. I nearly laughed my bottom off!
You'll still be lovely, even as a bearded lady!
Is it me, or is it hot in here?
Your sister seems to be obsessed by you being perimenopausal.
ReplyDeleteOkay, who made a new word up and didn't tell me?
ReplyDeleteGrrrrr. Tell your sister to STOP LAYING HER SYMPTOMS ON YOU. Just 'cause we gals can sync up on other (monthly) happenings, does NOT mean you'll be joining her down this road.
ReplyDeleteThere's such a thing as taking this sisterly-bond stuff just TOO FAR.
You tell her, sweetie!!!
Yep, I'm with Kathryn! Sounds like your sibling is preoccupied with her own peri-wotsit-called and wants some company.
ReplyDeleteOMG! I agree with Kathryn and IndigoWrath - your sister is certainly overcompensating for her own problems. Misery loves company.
ReplyDeleteI had a co-worker say the same thing to me once when I mentioned I was tired. She started going on about hormones and shit like that. After that outburst, I avoid her at all cost.
Oh Christ, I'm perimenopausal. LOL
ReplyDeleteCome enter my giveaway!!!!!
I'll drive over an dhave lunch with you instead of Lisa. I promise I won't mention that P-word at all.
ReplyDeleteI'll just listen to you while I take all these pills that help ME with my symptoms for perimenopause...
:-)
I trod on my cat today, so I'm very mend-a-paws-al....... OK, so it was contrived but it was the best I could manage with a headache....
ReplyDeleteTell her she's showing the classic signs of obsessive-compulsive disorder... She won't let go!
ReplyDeleteha. gotta love family!
ReplyDeleteLOL, you are so funny!!! If my sister kept saying that crap to me, shed probably be wearing her lunch. We have a long history of food fights.
ReplyDeletegreat post
Those could have been conversations between myself and my mother. How scary is that given she's postalmenopausal??
ReplyDeleteGreat blog :-)
That last line was perfect. You rock, as always.
ReplyDeleteIs "rocking" a sign of perimenstrupause or whatever you called it?
Keep up the good work! You are so talented and hilarious!
ReplyDeletelol...Fantastic! Out of all the blogs I follow...yours is always read first! Love it.
ReplyDeleteI have 2 younger sisters myself & although they haven't started in on that particular subject, they can come up with some really annoying stuff!
ReplyDeleteI was thinking exactly what Kathryn & the others said. Tell her to take a mental-pause before she starts in on you about any of HER obvious personal problems!!! LOL!
Quit reminding me, Chrissy, Okay????
ReplyDelete@Britta,
ReplyDeleteI'm sure she'll appreciate that.
@Ron,
PeriMANopausal. That's great! You should copyright that.
@Mark Price,
Oh, it's a bitch, my friend.
@Lee the Hot Flash Queen,
Well if we don't laugh, we cry.
@adrienzgirl,
Tasting ass. That's about right.
@C. Andres Alderete,
Me, too. I wonder if that would catch on.
@Secretia,
ReplyDeleteOh, that's a good one!
@Pearl,
Funny!
@Judge Fudge,
I'm surprised my sister hasn't mentioned it to you.
@Cookie & Cinnamon's Mum,
Don't worry, I won't let my sister know. Shhh!
@The Crazy Baby Mama,
Way ahead of ya. "Well, you know, you can still get your period for a while...."
@Cynica Sarcastamos,
HA! That's SO true.
@The Fat Man,
I could always join the circus. Hot in here? Bite your tongue.
@The Peach Tart,
ReplyDeleteYes, I don't get it.
@Matthew,
Sorry. We forgot to run it by you first.
@Kathryn,
Those days are long gone for her. I think she just likes to annoy me.
@Indigo Wrath,
She's just jealous of my beauty.
@Travel Girl,
Do they think they're being helpful?
@Julie,
My sister will be so glad.
@f8hasit,
Okay, come on over with your pills.
@Cogitator,
Very clever.
@Leah Rubin,
ReplyDeleteShe just likes to aggravate me. Payback I guess. :-)
@Stacie's Madness,
Yup!
@JW.BW,
Thanks. Funny and sad cuz it's true.
@Maven,
She's just preparing you, dear.
@Knucklehead,
Thanks. Not sure if it's a sign. I better check with Lisa.
@Happy Hog,
Thanks so much!
@Jergen,
That's very nice of you to say. Thank you!
@Collette,
I was thinking of just kicking her like I did when I was a kid.
@Phillipia,
Sorry. :-)
Your sister and I are on the same page. This week I was convinced I'd fallen pregnant [which would have been a miracle I tell you] and then realised that many symptoms of perimenopause and pregnancy are the same. I kinda wouldn't have minded if I was, because my maternal urges only kicked in at 43 but I'm not.
ReplyDeleteChrissy, I have something that was made for you. :) In fact, I thought you created it. Anyway, please stop by my blog and pick it up when you have a chance.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
JB
LMAO!!! That's hilarious!
ReplyDeleteWhen you get a chance, please stop by my blog. I've posted an award for you!
OMG! I'm perimenopausal. Hair has been growing from my chin since I was seven. Righ after I busted it open, hair started to grow out of the scar that was left. And I confess, I have come to enjoy plucking the little buggers that show up every two to three weeks.
ReplyDelete@Donna Deluso,
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. Immaculate conception is my only hope.
@jb,
Hey baby! I'll be right over.
@April,
Thanks! Okay, I'll come and see ya!
@Funny Girl,
I especially like plucking the hairs on my boobs!
Chrissy,
ReplyDeleteThe ending was perfect. I should've seen it coming.
Toolbit out.
One of the joys of getting older is that you don't have to think about sex.The added of advantage of being English is that most American women think we are crap at sex anyway,so the relief of not having to pretend gets even better!
ReplyDeleteThis is why we have sisters.
ReplyDeleteThinning hair and fatigue are only initial symptoms. You can really tell you're reaching menopause when you blog about it.
i'm 46 and i know i am premenopausal dang it
ReplyDelete