Monday Morning Vinny

But you knew this Monday morning would be Vinny.....

I swear, you guys, if you didn't see his little shaved leg, you would never know anything was wrong with him!

 

 

Saturday, when I brought him home around 7PM, he was super tired and he went right sleep. Since I usually sleep until 9:00, I set my alarm for 7:00 this morning so I could give him his next dose of pain meds. He was awake and waiting for me when I went upstairs and then he came back down into my bedroom, climbed on his cat tree and fell asleep.

 

He was even ready to go outside when I took the dogs out! So much for thinking that he would be too traumatized to go back out. But then, he probably thinks that his attempted murderer (me) is in the house and he wants to get away!

 

The vet said that he can't go out for at least 2 weeks but I want to see if I can get him to stay inside for good. I'm sure this will be no small feat so I'm going to need to research it and ask around to see if it's even possible.

 

As I said yesterday, he decided to hide out in a unused bedroom upstairs. These houses are pretty old and the heating and cooling to the upper floor stinks. Everyone on the street uses a space heater in the winter and a window air conditioning unit in the summer for their second floor.

 

The temperature in that room was at least 90 degrees so I went out and bought an window air conditioning unit. What the heck? Why not round out my expenses to a nice even number like $3200? I justified it by telling myself that I want to make the room into a guest room. I really do but I hadn't planned on it for a while. There isn't exactly a huge deluge of guests staying here although, given the cost of Vinny's treatment, I might make this place a bed and breakfast for pet lovers.

 

Most places put a mint on your pillow. I'll put a cat.

 

 

Allergy pills available on request.



Full house

Vinny is home!

They gradually weaned him off the oxygen and he did well enough that they were able to release him. The dogs were so excited to see him! When I brought him in, I held him as I placed him on the floor in front of them. They sniff, sniff, sniffed him while their tails were wagging like crazy. Once Vinny had enough, I let him go and he ran to the bedroom upstairs that I never use. He likes to spend time up there since the dogs never really go there but just in case, I put the baby gate up at the bottom of the step to keep them downstairs.

 

Guess who tripped over it?

 

 

 

Hey, at least I didn't sprain or break anything. This time. They should call them adult gates.

 

It's been such an emotional couple of days. I was such a wreck. I honestly don't know how those of you with kids do it. If I had children and something happened to them, I would be beside myself. I would be so strict and over protective and that combined with my inherent mental issues would spell eventual matricide for sure.

 

Of course, it wouldn't be like a Lyle and Erik Menendez thing. That would require a father and the above mentioned mental issues would have made him leave years before the kids were at an age where they could go out and buy illegal firearms.

 

Things are going to change around here for all the babies. No more running out to pee off lead for the dogs and I'm hoping that I'll be able to keep Vinny inside from now on.

 

Thank goodness none of them have opposable thumbs.

 

Vinny update

I talked to the vet around Noon today and she confirmed that Vinny had no broken bones, no head trauma and no fractures. The vet I saw yesterday suspected that he might have a hairline fracture on one of his ribs but the radiology report didn't reflect that so that's good news.

 

His lungs are just really bruised and in this type of injury, it can get worse before it gets better. Think of when you bump your leg and get a bruise. You know how it gets really funky, awful colored before it gets better? Same thing here only that much worse because it's the lungs.

He does have some air in the cavity outside of his lungs but it's not because of a puncture, just the trauma of the blow. It's not an excessive amount so they don't need to tap it to remove it. It will just dissipate on its own. This is good news.

 

He has no internal bleeding and his blood cell count levels are good. I went to see him this afternoon and he rolled over onto his back so I could rub his belly. Unfortunately, they didn't want to take him out because when he isn't in the oxygen, his breathing gets really labored so all I could do was reach in to pet him. I took one of my shirts in so he would be able to smell me on it and I thought that might relax him. I told the tech that I had rubbed it on the dogs, too and she seemed a little surprised that the scent of dogs would actually calm a cat but then, doesn't know my Vin. He loves his pack!

 

He's not really eating so I brought his prescription canned food but he didn't want that, either. They have him on an IV so at least he's getting the nutrients that he needs.

 

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers! I'll check in again tomorrow.

 

Here's Vinny in the oxygen chamber today.

 

Please pray for Vinny

I hope you all had a good holiday. I decided to lay low this year and I declined some offers to attend backyard barbeques. It was pretty hot and muggy and that equals a bitchy Chrissy so I thought for the sake of everyone involved, I would just take a pass.

Manly Man is coming to do some work for me at the house so I wanted to scrub the floors in the basement since he would be going down there. I filled my bucket up with soapy water in the kitchen and as I was carrying it to the steps, the handle broke. Remember the Brady Bunch episode when Bobby tries to wash his suit before everyone gets home and he used the whole box of detergent resulting in a bubble fest everywhere? Yeah, it was kinda like that.

I figured I would run up to the hardware store to get a new bucket. I always check that Vinny isn't under the car and if he's anywhere near it, he runs away anyway. I didn't see him so I started the car. I got halfway down the driveway when I felt a bump. I got out of my car and saw Vinny running away.

Oh my GOD! I hit Vin Vin!

I ran all over calling him but he didn't come back. I finally found him hiding in my neighbor's yard. He was having trouble breathing and he had blood coming out of his mouth. I gathered him and up drove him to the emergency vet clinic which is about 20 minutes away. I had him on my lap and he kept looking up at me and spitting up blood. I was so distraught, I can't believe I even made it there.

I handed him over and they told me that because of his condition, I would need to sign a consent so they could begin treatment immediately. And they wanted a $500 deposit before they would start. I paid the deposit and waited.

Luckily, there was a very nice man in the waiting room who talked me down off the ledge, so to speak. He was there because his Rottweiler had stuck his nose under the fence and a little, yippy dog that his neighbors were dog sitting bit him on the nose.

I had called my sister but remember the tragic corn incident when I called her and she went to the wrong house? I waited and waited and even after I had gone back to see Vinny, she still wasn't there. I came out into the lobby and looked at Rottweiler's dad as if to say, ""Have you seen her?", and he said, "Oh, she was here. I told her you were okay, so she left." That made me laugh.

It turns out that she had gone to the wrong place. Again.

Vinny has no broken bones, no head trauma and his bladder is ok. I must have gone over his chest because his lungs are pretty bruised. He was in an oxygen chamber when I left and he seemed much calmer.

I called last night around midnight and they said his breathing wasn't strained and that he was resting comfortably. I called this morning and they were waiting for the trauma specialist to take a look at him. It's now 11:00 and I'm pretty annoyed that I haven't heard anything.

Of course, in order to keep him there, they needed another $2100, which is the estimate of care for a two night stay. I understand the higher cost of running a 24 hour clinic but I think it's shameful that they won't even begin treatment on your pet without cash in hand.

Please pray for Vinny. I'll keep you updated.

Our Little Miss Sunshine

You know how obsessed I am with Toddlers and Tiaras.

 

Well, I never thought that I would know someone who was actually IN a pageant. My friend's 12 year old daughter has aspirations of being an actress. Or a marine biologist. So she convinced her mother to let her try out for the local National American Miss competition. As luck (?) would have it, she placed in the finals for the state competition in Columbus.

It was a two day event and unfortunately, since she and her daughter are the ones who come and stay with the dogs when I go out of town, I was only able to attend on Sunday for the closing ceremony.

 

Columbus is about a 2 1/2 hour drive from Cleveland and it is SUCH a boring drive because it's all trees or farms. I figured at least it was a nice day and since I actually like driving, I would just crank the radio and sing.

 

 

 

Then, about an hour and a half in, the skies starting looking a little questionable. I hate driving in the rain even more than I hate driving in the snow, so I was hoping it would just be a light rain. As I kept driving, that seemed unlikely.

 

 

 

I contemplated stopping at the adultmart but I wasn't sure if the doors would be open to sinners on Sunday so I kept driving.

 

 

Smack into this!

 

.

 

The skies just opened up and all of the traffic came to a complete stop on the freeway. It lasted about 15 minutes and then we were able to move on and into clear skies again.

 

I have some familiarity with Columbus but I probably wouldn't have had to backtrack if I hadn't left my directions on the printer at home.

 

They started the closing ceremony with an introduction of each of the girls that included what their favorite things are and what their goal in life is. The girls came out in their evening gowns and walked across the stage as the crowd of parents and friends applauded. The applause got a little light after #99. Who knew there were 183 girls?!?! And that was just in the pre-teen category.

 

We started to get a little slap happy and I'm sure my friend and her older daughter were worse than me because they had to sit through 183 girls for each competition all day Saturday. At one point, I thought I heard the announcer say, "Tamika likes porridge and collecting porn" but I scratched my head and thought, "That can't be right."

 

Of course, my mind went to what a money making venture this is. My friend probably spent almost $1000 to enter her daughter, buy the clothes and stay in a hotel for the weekend. Each additional category that she was entered in was another fee. Plus, it cost each person $15 to watch the closing ceremony. Parking in the hotel? Another $20.

 

Why am I not running a pageant??

 

They wouldn't allow video cameras or flash photography in the ballroom because, you guessed it, you had to purchase a video of the closing ceremony. Cha-ching!

 

Here's my lame attempt at no flash pics. We got in line 45 minutes before the ceremony started but we still ended up in the back row.

 

 



 Here's our girl. The leggy one under the crown.

 

She did an awesome job, but, unfortunately, the judges were blind and/or drunk and she didn't place in any of the categories. She's a trooper and took it well. I think we were more upset than her. Who knew you could get so into it??

 

Then it was time for the 2 1/2 hour drive home.

 

Here are the highlights. Well, you get the idea.

 

 

Monday Morning Millie

"I refuse to turn around until it's Tuesday!"

Secondhand Sunday

Sundays are my Secondhand day. I'm basically too lazy to think of anything new to say so I re-post a "vintage" entry.

If you aren't in the mood for repeats, please feel free to change the channel.

"My what big teeth you have!"

Original Post Date, July 9, 2009

I was eating an apple tonight and bit my lip. In the same place that I've bit my lip at least three other times today and twice yesterday. I know people who occasionally bite their lips or tongue. I, on the other hand, do it constantly because my bite is so misaligned. I've even considered having my jaw broken and reset.

When I was young, the dentist suggested that I get braces.

"There's nothing wrong with her teeth, Jean, we aren't doing it," my father argued.

"Maybe there is, though," my mother replied.

"Ridiculous! They're just trying to make money. Crooks!"

Here's a picture of me as a child.

My parents were both Depression era babies and still think a loaf of bread should be a nickel. My mother isn't as bad as my father who thinks everyone is out to screw him. When I told him about Bernie and how much the tests were to diagnose her, his response was to get a second opinion to be sure the vet wasn't just trying to make money off us. Crook!

My father's frugality brings us back again to my continually swelling lip caused by my ridiculously uneven bite. I've always been a voracious masticator so it generally doesn't take more than one chomp to do damage. Once, I had bitten down so hard that I thought I was going to pass out from the pain of my self-inflicted wound. My lip swelled so large and turned so purple that when I went to work the next day, I lied and told everyone that my neighbor's dog had bit me. Woof.

Each time this happens, I touch my finger to my lip to check for blood, mutter "son-of-a-bitch" and then hold my finger out to gaze at my latest DNA sample. My father will still argue to this day that I have beautiful teeth because I never had braces.

Yes, I am glad that my teeth look relatively normal from the outside since all the damage lies inside where no one can see it.

Sort of like what happened to my soul. Thanks, Mom & Dad.

What am I supposed to be doing?

I'm inherently lazy.

Now it didn't take any sort of deductive reasoning to come to this conclusion. Just 30 days of not working. I have a HUGE list of all the things that I want to do and yes, the first few weeks I was home, I was sick as a dog so those don't really count.

But the two weeks I've been coherent and drug free (okay, coherent....), I haven't been very productive. Don't get me wrong, I have accomplished the basics for a number of things that I wanted to get started with but I've come to realize that I need a schedule because if I don't have one, I do nothing or I half-assed do what I started.

Yesterday, a friend called me at 5:00 on her way home from work and asked, "So what did you do today?"

My response was, "I gotta be honest. This one got away from me."

I spent the entire day watching People's Court, Divorce Court, Judge Judy, Judge Joe Brown and The Steve Harvey Show. I had no idea there were so many of these court shows! The arguments are always the same and yet, I found myself watching them for 4 hours.

So I bought myself this daily chalkboard to plan out my weeks and give them more structure.

Well, unbeknownst to me, chalkboards require "prep" before you can use them.

Wha??

Needless to say, it sat for another week before I used it.

The directions said that you had to rub white chalk all over it to, sort of, break it in. They suggested taking it to a place where you could make a mess, so I took it the patio and rub rub rubbed the chalk in and then erased it.

NOW it was ready to use.

 

 

But I was tired. So I took a nap.

 

See?? Lazy.

 

I'm hopeful that the board actually will help me to focus on individual tasks knowing that tomorrow I'll be working on that so I don't have to think about it today.

 

Fingers crossed!

 

ADDENDUM: George suggests that I listen to this as well. Why didn't I think of it?? Thanks! :-)

 

Can you smell me now?

It was around 11:00 on Saturday night when I took Maddie and Dino out for their last potty stop of the night. It had actually cooled a little from the heat of the day so I sat on the front steps while Maddie sat on the grass and Dino sniffed around the bushes. Dino was on a leash but Maddie wasn't.

It was such a quiet, still night that I held Dino's leash really loosely, thinking we would be back inside in a few minutes. All of a sudden, Dino's head shot up and in a split second, he took off running and I lost hold of the leash. Maddie, not wanting to be left behind, started running, too. You know, as fast as Maddie can "run".

I concentrated on catching Dino since he's the fastest and I saw him coming up on something dark in the neighbor's shrubs across the street.

"Please be a cat. Please be a cat. Please be a cat.", I kept repeating to myself.

But, OF COURSE, it wasn't a cat.

It was a skunk who was spraying Dino right in the face. I tried pulling Dino away and  felt my leg get wet from the spray while I inhaled a lung full of it. I grabbed Dino and Maddie, who had finally made it across the street, and dragged them both back home.

I know they tell you not to bring a dog back in the house after they've been sprayed but I couldn't leave Dino out there to disturb the whole neighborhood so I brought him in and attempted to corral him into the bathroom. He slipped away ONCE AGAIN and ran right onto my bed where he proceeded to rub his oily head all over my pillows to get the spray off his face.

I was finally able to pick him up, toss him in the bathroom and shut the door. I went under my kitchen sink where I was sure my "skunk kit" was; one quart of hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and Dawn dishwashing liquid.  But I had no baking soda and no peroxide.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I called my sister and after what seemed like an eternity, she brought me my de-skunking supplies by tossing them on the front steps and running back to her car.

I yelled out thank you as she waved her arm back over her head.

I read that apple cider vinegar is supposed to absorb the smell so I have about 2 quarts of it in bowls all over the house. I think it's working but I'm not sure. I mean, skunks can't smell themselves, right?

Poor Dino's head is still a little stinky so when he lays next to Millie, this is what she does.

 

Bottom line, I think we all know what needs to happen here.

The skunk has to go.

I've hired the best hit man in town for the job. 

 

 

Mr. Skunk will never know what hit him. 

Monday Morning Chrissy

 

My hair was getting so long and I found that all I was doing was putting it in a ponytail or headband. I decided that it was time for a change so here's my new shorter summer do~

 

 

One man's trash

I was running late to meet some friends last night and on my way I got a text from one of them.

"Running late. Traffic"

I responded back.

"Me, too. Hoarder."

Let me explain. You know I LOVE flea markets and garage sales and resale shops. And, I'm learning how to turn that rush of a hot find into a business.

My friend, Angela, is equally enthralled with trash picking and she's turning her love of great furniture pieces into a money making venture by refinishing and reselling pieces. She likes to peruse the ads on Craigslist.

In case you don't know what Craigslist is, it's a website that allows you to regionally search for items for sale. It also lets you list your (ahem) services. And then there's the Craigslist killer. Which, by the way, was in Ohio. He lured men to a job opportunity that never existed and then...well I think we know how that one ends. But I digress.

Angela tells me where she's going, just to be safe. She had gone to this guy's house about a month or so ago and came back with a crazy story. She had walked in, not knowing what to expect, and was greeted by an obese man in a wheelchair and another skinny guy who later revealed himself as "the man's caretaker". Wheelchair guy told her that she was welcome to go in the other room and take a look around so Angela peeked her head around the corner to see a ceiling to floor hoarder's heaven. The whole situation was kind of odd so she decided to take a pass and not venture any further into the house, lest she became one of the collectibles herself.

I got an excited email from Angela on Monday with a link to the Craiglist ad that said this guy is moving and clearing out his WHOLE HOUSE. He was only taking people by appointment so we went yesterday at 3:00, leaving what I thought would be plenty of time to get to my 5:30 dinner.

We had some storms in the past week and there were still some branches in the roads as we were driving. Suddenly, there was a huge BOOM and Angela screamed and looked at me.

"Oh my GOD! Did you see that? Did you see that huge branch that just missed the car?"

I shook my head, "No. I just thought it was a gun shot."

Ah...the excitement begins.

We pulled out front of the house and climbed the uneven brick steps to the big, old colonial and were greeted by the man in the wheelchair. I looked around and didn't see much. Framed pictures leaning against a wall, a stained glass parrot panel and a few mirrors.

The caretaker directed us to the basement and we were both given a pair of latex gloves.

"It's pretty dusty down there."

This is what we saw when got to the bottom step and turned left.

 

 

 

Piles and piles and piles of STUFF. We started going through things but I was afraid to go to far into a pile because there had to be animals or bugs or Jimmy Hoffa in there.

 

We did come out with some cool stuff, though.

 

Coolest urn ever

 







Look how this awesome tray came back to life with a little hemp oil!

 

 

NYC souvenir ashtray. It features the Statue of Liberty, Rockefeller Center and the Empire State Building in the middle and Coney Island and the NY skyline along the sides.

 

 

There's just a little polishing to do!

 

 

1954 Anscoflex II camera

 

Since I'm such a nosy Nellie, I just had to put this camera in my pile.

 It only had about 7 pictures taken on it. Now I don't even know if anyone can still develop it but I'm way curious to see what's on it.

Angela looked a little worried, "What if he's killing someone on it??"

"Well then," I replied, "We'll cross that bridge when we get there."

All in all, a good take of stuff for $80 total!

It did make me a little late to meet my friends and I felt bad because I felt so dirty leaving that place and I really wanted to do small stuff like curl my hair and bleach my mustache before I saw my friends, but I don't think they even noticed.

 

 

 

Hellloooooooooooooooooooo

I bet you wondered what the heck happened to me.

Well, my last day was May 18 and that morning I woke up with a really sore throat. The next morning I felt like a truck had hit me and that lasted for 2 and a half weeks. I joked that my body was purging itself of my job but I honestly think that's what happened.

All the stress and bullshit that I had been holding in for so long was finally being released. The first week I had planned to play Cleveland tourist and hit some of the museums but I could barely get out of bed. By the second week, I decided to go to the doctor and I was diagnosed with a sinus infection, bronchitis and fluid in my ear.

No wonder I felt so bad!

Believe it or not, it was hard to do nothing when I was used to doing so much all the time. The dogs and Vinny were completely confused the first few weeks but they've gotten used to me being around. I've fallen back into my natural body clock so I'm up until 1:00 or 1:30 and I get up at 9:00.

My initial plan was to get a part time job for about 20 hours a week. It was funny, because the Monday after I left, I got called for an interview.

NO!! I wasn't ready to work again yet.

I decided to go in and see what it was about but the 25 hour/week job turned into almost 30 with no benefits. Um. No.

Instead, I opened an eBay store again and I'm pursuing some writing opportunities. Some of it's freelance, some is my poor website that I've neglected and another is a partnership with a friend that I'm really excited about.

Do you know what I'm most excited about?

I'm happy.

And stress free.

And I've missed you guys.

So, what's been happening since I've been gone? Tell! Tell!