Facebook is for idiots

Friday, January 9, 2009

You remember the girl at work who fixed me up with the guy who broke up with me in an email, right? OMG, I totally just sounded like I was 12. OMG, I just did it again.

Anyway...about a month ago, she says to me, "Hey, are you on Facebook?"

I gave her one of my "that's one of the the stupidest things I've ever heard" looks and responded, "Nope. I graduated from high school last year."

She tilted her head, "It's a great way to keep in touch with friends."

"Anyone I want to keep in touch with, I can phone or send an email to."

"You should try it. Everyone's doing it."

"No. Really. I'll pass but thanks for telling me about it." ....you stupid idiot, I thought to myself as I walked out of her office.

A few days later, I got an email from my friend Maria who lives in northern Kentucky. "Hey. Take a look at my Facebook page!" the automated email shouted. I could hear the sarcasm in Maria's added comment, "Apparently this is cool."

I laughed out loud because even though I think the whole thing is for teenagers and adults who never got over the angst of being a teenager (Look how many friends I have!). I had to admit I was curious. And I haven't seen Maria since she got married in the summer, so I wanted to see pics of her and her new family. Okay, so MAYBE there are some circumstances where this is okay, like when old friends send invitations to social events or to flip through their photo albums.

However, I still didn't want anyone that I know professionally to find me and I didn't want any weirdos from my past to find me, either. So I used a fictitious name. (I swear, I don't create fictitious names regularly, just this week)

I talked to my friend Brian a few days later and told him the whole story because I knew he would have a Facebook page. And he does...with 135 friends. Brian and I have known each other since we were in our mid 20's. Okay, he was mid, I was late. He's now in his late 30's and married with 2 children but he still refers to himself by his college nickname (hey, it's BP!) and manages to slip the word "boobies" into virtually every conversation we have. He's very well versed in Facebook ways and told me that ANYONE in my email contact list can do a Search on Facebook and find me. Oh no!!

Panic set in and I ran to my computer so I could change my Facebook settings. I only have one email address so you know what I had to do, don't you? Create a fake one. My mother always warned me, "one lie turns into another". I think I'm safe now since I haven't gotten any "Friend requests".

I'm shocked by how much information you can find out about people with the click of a button. My latent stalker tendencies took over and I found myself reading walls (pages you post on, for all you Facebook virgins) and looking at photo albums of people I don't know today and most likely never will. This would have completely changed my dating world in the 80's. Gosh, the time I would have saved doing drive by's and hanging out at bars I hated just to see if the guy I went out with twice was cheating on me. "But he told me he loved me!"

Hey, I wonder if I can find any of them on Facebook...


  1. Well if you're a fellow Facebook hater, you're definitely not an idiot. I'm 27, and I couldn't fathom even thinking about possibly having a Myspace or Facebook page. Just a FYI: I ran across your blog entirely by accident, but I've had fun reading your various posts. Keep it up!

  2. Thanks, so glad you're enjoying it! I knew I couldn't be the ONLY one who felt that way about FB.

  3. Chrissy I totally love your blog, it's awesome, you write very well and I love your style. I hate facebook totally, but i'm on it... but i still hate it, the concept sucks, there is no privacy in the world anymore and this is my next blog topic. ;)

    Please visit my blog and give me some suggestions if you can... http://mindmixxes.blogspot.com

  4. Hi Mini!

    Thanks so much for your kind words.

    I know, Facebook is one of those "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em things.

    I'm looking forward to checking out your blog.

    Hope to see you again~ :-)

  5. Hi! I am a FB hater also, I'm on it but not by my choice, networking only. Most of the facebookers are rude when you make friends request, I have had to delete friends because of nasty comments.
    Love your blog will add to my favs, to keep up with your continuing saga. LOL

  6. Hi Tricia,

    Really? People make nasty comments? That's too bad.

    Glad you're enjoying my "saga." Hope to see you again. :-)

  7. Facebook is for winners. Myspace is for losers. I tried deleting both myspace and facebook onc...but that was a long time ago.

  8. So you're a Facebook convert? I didn't know Myspace was even still around. I'm so out of touch.

  9. Yeah, Facebook is classier, but my Myspace is still active in order to maintain a literary "platform."

  10. Facebook is adictive like watching infomercials. It's a conspiracy too ya know! Have you heard ha one? lol

  11. Ok so you have people in your contact list that may be on FB. But I fail to see how they could find you on FB if you are not on FB? They could just 'email' you anyway.

  12. Hey, I can kinda see your point that it is for people who are still stuck in the past etc, but where i am from which is Ireland it's not really looked at like that as such. It's more just to keep in touch with friends and family and because our nation is so small as it is it's really just an extention of our community as such. I have my sister on mine my girlfriend and her family and some of my sisters friends and my own and I use it really just to say hi and so do others. I think when you take the facebook social network of say Ireland and base it against that of america or any other large nation there is a difference in regards to ''Look at how many friends i have'' ( US ) compared to ''Will you be in tonight so i can come around for a chat''. So what i am getting at is that it is really just like using a mobile phone ( contacting people ) but you get to see pictures and maybe play scrabble or do a quiz. :-D

  13. Michael,

    I see your point. It's more of a popularity contest here.

    I actually did a follow up post titled, I love Facebook. The more I stopped by every once in a while, the more I got hooked. I looked up someone I used to date and we've ended up "rekindling" things.

  14. haha, I feel you. I also thought that Facebook is that one thing that I can't face...But sadly, als It is true! Just recently, I opened an acoount in my real name to find those long-lost friends from the past. But I have many fake accounts too that I use for stalking ex boyfriends!

  15. How else are you gonna stalk, Mrs. Doubtfire?

  16. How I got here I am still not sure (oh, that's right - I was disgusted with Facebook), but I just had to stop and comment...

    I couldn't agree with you more. I have a few friends (not on FB - the *real*, in-the-flesh type) that in typical mid-life crisis-style, have decided it was necessary to have their own respective FB sites. It's kinda creepy, especially my buddy Ron's wife's site, whose "friend's list" is populated entirely by her daughter's classmates and friends. And no, that's not in the expected non-malignant, maternal context. It's just plain *weird*. Social networking sites in general annoy the hell out of me (guess I don't understand why people place such value on fads I suppose), but when middle-aged people begin pushing the concept on me, it tends to raise an eyebrow, if you follow me. So, no, you are not alone in your feelings on this subject.

    Also, the tagline "Random musings from a never married 40-something with issues" caught my eye.
    This sure provoked a chuckle and a smile from me.
    So I know now there are at least two of us...

    Anyhow, thanks for the laugh and the smile. BTW -I'm personally *glad* you never became a stripper.

    Well-rested in Seattle

  17. Hi Anonymous,

    Not sure if you'll ever venture back to read this but thanks for stopping by and commenting.

    You're a never married 40-something, too?? Will you call my mother and tell her I'm not the only one, please?

  18. For some reason I've never liked the idea of posting personal information online for everyone to see and I'm inclined to believe that's why it's referred to as "personal." Remarkably, the Twitter folks have sunken to a new depth of techno-ignorance, eclipsing the Facebook crowd, while their social skills evaporate. You know the type, always staring at their hand held device rather than holding a conversation. The upside is we'll soon be texting people no more than 5 feet away which should reduce CO2 emissions.

  19. Ahhh...you are very wise, grasshopper.

  20. Hi Chrissy!

    I agree completely!
    Strong nausea - that's what a normal person feels seeing this crowd of stupid lemmings doing what this Zuckerberg's money machine tells them to do. Are these people completely off reality??? Or too stupid not even to think, but just to understand what they are said? Zuckerberg - read FB - tells them in plain words that their profiles will be kept for lifetime (who's btw?) When asked "What for, you SOB?" he just says something like "Well, we will keep them but we wan't use them!" And - guess what? - lemmings are happy with this answer!

  21. I'm late to the party (as always) but I just did a Facebook post as well, so this was practically screaming my name!

    I like Facebook because it gives me a chance to connect with people I went to college with but now, it's just a pain in the ass. Nothing is worse than trying to fucking translate the status updates people who kant speel an errthang if u no whut i meen.

    Yeah, it hurts.

    Anyway, I love your blog, so keep on keepin' on!

  22. I hated it at first but now, I'm a FB whore.

    Thanks, glad you're as amused by my life as I am!

  23. What grates me about Facebook is the herd mentality of people. As long as you think like everyone else, you'll get plenty of attention.. Albeit canned. Just post some stupid baby photos, drunk with the girls pix, or discuss the latest (insert team here) sports score. Of course, talk about real world issues and it's as if you just Ruined their frat party. Oh sure, you can discuss "serious" topics, just as long as they are groupthink PC approved, like breast cancer or saving the whales.

    "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  24. LOL Facebook Virigins... XD

  25. Nice to find someone similar to me. I am 19 and absolutely hate Facebook. I tried it and it and the way my friends present themselves was sickening. I do not need to fabricate my life on the internet, I would rather enjoy real experiences and real relationships and in my downtime do what I enjoy - not sit at a computer on 'social network' sites. It is anti-social by its very design and not worthy of my time. I am so happy to have a loving girlfriend who shares the same views as me. Nothing irritates me more than being bombarded with FB on the television and by others who think "everyone is on there" no, only idiots are.


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