I'll take the cupcakes, please

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Guess what I did now?

Here's a hint. When I ask this question, it's a pretty safe bet to respond:

a. Cut your knee (s) open
b. Fell down
c. Sprained an ankle
d. Tripped over your own feet

In this case, the answer would be "e", all of the above.

I was feeling overly generous on the Friday before St. Patrick's Day and decided to buy something yummy for my staff. I stopped at the bakery and bought two dozen cupcakes, decorated in green and white frosting. (AND, I even decided to buy these even though I have given up sweets for Lent. Does my generosity never cease??)



As I rode the elevator down the eight floors from the roof of the parking garage with a guy in scrubs, I thought to myself, "I bet he wishes he worked in my department."

We reach the ground floor and he motions for me to get out first. Yay! You know how much I love elevator etiquette! I get out, head to the right, go through the door to the street and proceeded to tumble down three steps to the concrete sidewalk.

SLAM!!

I probably could have stopped myself from falling by grabbing the railing but since I was holding both boxes, I didn't have that option. The cupcakes went flying, I twisted both ankles and somehow managed to end up with bloody knees through my pants.

I sat their stunned for a moment as 'scrubs guy' rushed to see if I was ok.

"Son of a BITCH!", I yelled out. "My poor cupcakes." I was half laughing (cuz I have been here SO many times before) and half pissed.

Scrubs guy tried to make light of the situation, "I think you can save some of them." But it was useless. There was cake and buttercream frosting all over the sidewalk.

I thanked him for stopping to help, picked up the cupcake pieces parts and tossed them in the trash. I was in pain but I really didn't think that I had hurt myself as bad as I did. I looked down and saw frosting all over my rings and knuckles so I stopped in the bathroom on the way to my office which is where I saw the bloody carnage inflicted upon my knees.

There was a girl in there fixing her hair in front of one of the sinks so I went to the other and put my hands under the automatic faucet. It didn't turn on.

I did it again.

Nothing.

I said aloud to myself, "I must be invisible" and waved my hands again. This time the water came on.

I washed the frosting off my fingers and rings and turned around to the automatic dryer. I placed my hands under the dryer on the right.

Nothing.

I placed my hands under the dyer on the left.

Nothing.

I turned to the girl who was still fixing her hair in the mirror.

"You can SEE me, right?"

She looked at me like I was nuts and nodded 'yes'.

I was hoping that I was dreaming and that I hadn't fallen and hurt myself YET AGAIN.

Maybe for the next holiday, I'll just give them stickers.

8 comments

  1. OMG, I don't mean to laugh, but this was hysterical...

    "I turned to the girl who was still fixing her hair in the mirror.

    "You can SEE me, right?"

    She looked at me like I was nuts and nodded 'yes'. "

    HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Sorry about your fall, Chrissy. Hey listen, did you ever think about wearing a bike helmet and knee pads???

    (((((( You ))))))

    X

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is the story of my life! Just not all at once.
    Contantly falling, dropping things, bleeding, and I swear I'm invisible in the bathroom at work!
    Sorry your cupcakes died! They sounded yummy!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Chrissy - yes stickers are a better option. I once dumped 2 dozen donuts all over the backseat and floor of my car. I picked them all up, picked off the hair and bits, put them back in the box and no one was the wiser. Free is free...

    ReplyDelete
  4. I hope your ankles and knees heal well and soon - and I'm glad you have a sense of humor about this kind of stuff! I'm just waiting for my next big, public, messy fall. I haven't had one since August (which came less than 2 weeks after the one I'd had in July). So I'm due any day now.

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  5. @Ron,
    No, really, laugh away. It's comical how often I do this. A few days later, I had to carry a cake in and I was walking like an old lady so I wouldn't fall and/or drop the cake.

    I think I need full body armor!

    @McGriddle Pants,
    Ah...a kindred spirit. So you get it!

    Thanks, I was pretty bummed. The pigeons got a nice treat.

    @Travel Girl,
    LOL! I thought you were going to say it took forever to get it cleaned up. Mums the word!

    ReplyDelete
  6. @The Roving Retorter,
    Thanks! The bummer is I was JUST starting to go to the gym again and now I can barely walk.

    Oh no! Sounds like you had a rough couple of weeks. Let's hope that was your quota for a while.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You know the Mayhem guy from the insurance commercials? Y'all prolly shouldn't hook up. Or maybe you already have.

    Next time think of yourself and let at least one of the boxes fly.

    Anywho, hope all the damage is superficial and clears up in a month or two.

    ReplyDelete
  8. @Simply Suthern,

    That's too funny! I should totally hook up with the mayhem guy. I bet I would have more luck than I've had with Mike Rowe.

    Thanks. The swelling should go down by the time it stops snowing in June.

    ReplyDelete

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