Jumping Back into Dating After Divorce

Going through a divorce can leave you deflated, depressed and feeling anything but confident. While it may seem like these feelings will last forever, I promise there will come a time when you'll be ready to get up, dust off the past and move on. But when that moment comes, you might find that dating no longer looks like it once did. You'll probably feel rusty, might not even remember how to flirt, and worse of all, feel intimidated or unsure about sleeping with someone else. These are all completely normal feelings. It's almost like going back to being an awkward teenager, except you don't have acne and have a whole lot more baggage.

It's important that you go into dating with a different mind than you once did. Read these tips on dating post divorce if you feel like you're ready to get back out there.

Introspection--
You need to be honest with yourself. What are you looking for? Do you want to dive back in and find someone to marry? Are you looking for a friend with some added benefits or just want someone nice to hang out with on the weekends. Be honest with yourself and honest with the people you meet. At this age, everyone's expectations are different and you'll end up hurting yourself or someone else just because you weren't able to articulate what you want.

Settling--
Many people who get divorced feel like they settled for whatever length of time they were married and don't want to do it again. However, while consciously thinking that, you may find that you like the attention you're getting from someone. It's new, it's refreshing and makes you feel good, but all the while you know this person is not what you want--not even close. Don't fall victim to using people to fill voids in your life or to give you what you should be giving yourself.

Date around--
The world has changed a lot since you were out there last. You're in a new dating age bracket and may find that you are attracted to completely different qualities and appearances than you once were, because of this it's important that you date around. Join an online dating site or have friends set you up with their friends, but don't feel like you can only go out with one person at a time. You're a free agent now, so go on a new date every few days until you find someone worth spending some time with.

Boost yourself--
You may find that your divorce has left you feeling a little less than confident and that might be getting in the way of dating or affecting your dates. If that's the case, it's time to nix the self-doubt and get into action. First off, know that with new people comes a new slate. There aren't all those negative feelings that you and your partner shared. It's likely the people you're going on date with think you're absolutely stunning, so don't assume otherwise. However, as always, if you're not happy with yourself do something about it. Change your eating habits, pick up an exercise routine or find some new hobbies that make you happy. This will not only feel great, but also make you more of an interesting person to potential mates.

Sexy Time--
When it comes to sex, you may be feeling a little out of touch, whether it be with yourself or with others. Get back into the groove by getting to know yourself again. Relearn what turns you on and gets you there. Want a little help? Adam and Eve has vibrators and other great toys to do the trick. Move on to a new mate once you feel comfortable with yourself and just know that the first time might be awkward. However, it's important you research your birth control options. Safe sex is imperative for anyone casually dating, no matter what age you are, even if you can't physically get pregnant or impregnate someone. Also don't be ashamed to brush up on some sex moves by watching porn or reading a few how-to articles. It's totally normal to feel a little lost after engaging in the same routine for so many years.

Finally the only way to enjoy sex with someone else is to ditch the ex sex. If you're still sleeping with your ex, take a step back and ask yourself why. You'll ultimately cause more harm than good and not allow yourself to move on.

Trial and Error--
Things don't seem to be working? Just keep getting out there. Be ready for rejection, for your heart to break, for you to break someone else's heart. Learning from trial and error is your best bet to successful dating.