Did someone suck the air out of the room?

Saturday, March 9, 2013

I think I'm having a midlife crisis. I'm going to be 47 in July and though my life isn't awful, I'm not really where I want to be. It reminds me of this classic Far Side cartoon.  
I have the pearls, wine (vodka, actually) and a warm, dry house but I still feel like a Mrs. Wendell.
I'm just not content.
My job is sucking the life out of me and that's no secret. I work for a large healthcare institution and I manage the support staff for one of the specialty institutes. Twenty seven grown women who never learned to play nice in the sandbox when they were kids and have no desire to learn now. Last week, I had an employee come into my office to complain about her co-worker telling her that she was "lazy and doesn't do anything."
I called the other employee into my office and said, "Anne said that you told her she was lazy and doesn't do anything."
Her response? "I never said that! I told her she was a stupid bitch."
I think to myself,  This is my life? Being the referee in juvenile disputes between grown adults?
I'm finding it harder and harder to diplomatically "coach" people. I should say, "I know you're feeling frustrated but how do you think you can approach this the next time?" Instead, I hear myself saying, "What the hell is wrong with you??"
I jokingly offer my job to everyone within earshot only to be told, "I would never do your job. How are you not an alcoholic?"
If I could drink at work, I probably would be but the best (worst) I can do is eat. Every time something frustrates me, I find myself wanting to shove food in my mouth. I used to eat like a thin person, only when I was hungry and in moderation. Now I just shove things down my gullet.
I told you guys a while back about this website that I started called My Weight Makeover. I started it because of my mild obsession with seeing how people lost weight and got in shape. It's expanded to a place where I can share the information that I've gathered regarding dieting, nutrition and exercise. I did a complete redesign in the last month and I'm still in the process of reformatting all the pages to the new layout. Next step is figuring out the whole "social media thing" to market it. Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Pinterest. I'll have to hire a 15 year old to guide me. 
THIS is what I want to do with my life. I want to sit in front of my computer and write about what interests me and then I want to come here and spew my stream of consciousness to anyone who cares to take the time to listen.
Oh. And I want to make a living doing it.
Is that too much to ask?


  1. I so hear you on this Chrissy, because even though I love what I do for a living, I just don't like doing it in the store that I work. And I also don't enjoy living in Philly anymore (actually, I haven't enjoyed living in this city for a LONG time). And every time I come back from visiting NYC, it becomes more and more evident that that's where I need to move back because that's where I belong, not here. Therefore, I need to get on the ball and find a way to get a transfer with the company I work for.

    "I think to myself, This is my life? Being the referee in juvenile disputes between grown adults?"

    It's the same where I work too. I've never worked with so many immature and childish adults in all my life. It’s like working in a daycare center for children. I’ve actually seen and heard employees arguing on the sales floor in front of customers.

    “Oh. And I want to make a living doing it.

    Is that too much to ask?

    No, I don’t think that’s too much to ask because your site is awesome and you definitely have a talent and passion for it. And you’re taking the steps to move forward, by working on it in your free time.

    So keep on going, girl!

    Glad to see that you posted because you’ve been missed!


  2. Congratulations on your site. It looks great! You're moving towards your goal and it will be that goal that gets you through those days at work.

    Don't lose hope - keep your eye on the prize of being independently wealthy and free of crazy-asses.

    BTW - I know what it's like to work with a bunch of women - not fun at all.

  3. We all have dreams right? Yeah I couldn't do your current job. I'd smack people for being so ridiculous.

  4. @Ron,

    Isn't it shocking of childish some adults act? And yes, they bicker in front of patients, too.

    You really do need to move back to NYC. Every time you mention it, NYC is like "the one that got away". I hope you're able to work out a transfer.

    Thanks for the kind words. xoxo

    @Travel girl,
    Yes, women are bitches. The end.

    Thanks so much for your words of encouragement! :-)

    Exactly. Better late than never, right?

    I swear, if this keeps up, that will be my next post!

  5. Mid life crisis is better than an end of life crisis.

    However I feel your pain.

  6. I've been reading your blog for quite a while but never commented before. However, having read this posting I reckon you could do with plenty of moral support (which you have already received from your regulars). Clearly having taken the step of voicing your dissatisfaction with work etc you have made the first move and I am sure given time, determination on your part, a little bit of luck and willingness to just go for it, something better will be just around the corner. Good luck and please keep posting.

  7. @Simply Sutherm,
    Wow, I never thought of it that way. Thanks for sharing my pain.

    @Mark Clough,
    Thanks for the kind words, Mark. And for reading my blog! I've made a commitment to myself to blog at least 5 days a week. I've really missed it.

    And you're right, I just need to focus on my goal and not let all this BS distract me. :-)


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