You expect me to eat that?

I feel like Bridget Jones.

May 19, 2009, weight 165

Dear Diary,

I just heard that Mark Darcey will be attending a charity fundraiser that I'll be attending next month so I must start my diet. Again.

I was trying to decide what kind of diet to start this time when a friend of mine told me that her mother had asked her if she would go to a book store and wait in line for an autographed copy of The Engine 2 Diet. In case you haven't heard of it, it's the latest diet book to hit the shelves prior to bikini season. It was written by a hunky firefighter who's the perfect pitchman to sell his program to housewives and lonely, single women.

Did I mention how dreamy he is??

I wasn't really sure what the details of the diet were but since you know my affection for firefighters, I looked up the website. The author's name is Rip Esselstyn but since the name Rip reminds me of Rip Taylor (who I can't stand..), I've renamed him Jake. Jake's website touts the benefits of the diet, from lowering your cholesterol to shedding pounds. This is Jake.


The plan sounded familiar to one that Manly Man had been on to buff up so I decided to ask him for some info. I was surprised when he suggested a "meeting" to walk me through all the details of planning for the diet and the pitfalls that he had come across. It was great seeing him after seven months but I was a little disappointed that he didn't even attempt to kiss me. Maybe I sent the wrong message by answering the door in my bra and panties.

The gist of the diet is that it's vegan. The simplest way that Manly Man explained this to me was that if it has a face, you can't eat it. (get your mind out of the gutter)

I went to the local grocery store and Trader Joe's to stock up on fruits, nuts, veggies and grains. I knew that breakfast would be the hardest for me since I eat two eggs every day. I perused the cereal aisle until I came across a cereal that would be compatible with the diet plan and my already existing food allergies. I found it in a product called Puffins, a whole grain brown rice flour cereal with a hint of honey for flavor. I really like it but I'm having a hard time with the name.

Do you remember on The Girls Next Door when Holly, Hef's main squeeze, called him Puffin? With every spoonful, I think of having that puffin in my mouth and it disturbs me on so many levels.

I'm shocked at how easy this is to follow. I'm a self professed sugar junkie, capable of consuming a pound of M&M's in a sitting but I've had no cravings and no hunger pangs. Day three and counting...