Too much information

Monday, May 25, 2009

I got my hair cut a few days ago. The conversations with my hairdresser, Natalie, usually revolve around our work, my inability to stick to a diet and her inability to permanently stop smoking. I told her that I had started this vegan diet on Sunday and she was excited to share with me her experience on a similar plan that she had tried the month before.

Somehow the conversation evolved to a discussion of bowel movements. You would think that by following a meal plan that’s essentially raw that constipation wouldn’t be a problem. Not so for me or Natalie. In the category of “too much information”, we both came to realize that we had suffered through years of constipation and had been to numerous specialists, only to be told to drink more water, exercise and eat more fiber. Yeah, I already tried that, Einstein.

We had both also gone the route of trying colonics. Now a colonic isn’t for the squeamish, so you may want to stop reading this post now and you certainly won’t want to watch the video.

Enemas only clear out the rectum but a colonic will irrigate and flush out the entire colon. I know you’re dying to know how. Well, let me educate you to the process, my friend.

The colon hydrotherapist will insert a speculum into the anus. The speculum is connected to a clear hose which is attached to the colon hydrotherapy unit. Warm, filtered water is slowly released into the colon. The water causes persitalis, which is the contraction of the colon, which causes the feces to release. No, you don't smell or hear anything but you will see it being released in the tube. It's oddly fascinating.

This was the tamest video I could find.

Once you can get past the fact that you’re essentially pooping in front of a stranger, it’s really a very relaxing, albeit pricey, experience. And talk about a flat stomach!

I haven’t had a colonic in a few years because I thought I had found my golden remedy in the form of flax seed oil. I was taking 1000 mg a day and no longer had to cast an envious gaze at my Beagle as she left a hefty pile on the tree lawn. I was regular! Normal. I didn’t have to spend an extra 15 minutes in the morning trying to find a blouse that would cover my bloat.

And then I went vegan. I’ve read a few different theories on why this might happen initially so I’m just going to press on and hope things come out okay.


  1. Wow, I'm rarely grossed out. High-five!


    Eww. Just, eww.

  3. Okay, eww! Good luck with the Vegan diet. No, really. But if that doesn't work out, and you really want to poop (yeah, I said it) try the product Alli. OMG, you take in one gram of fat over the allowed 15 grams/day and you're a poop factory (yeah, I said it again).

  4. Didn't watch the video. It probably looks like I imagine it would. LOL. I may try the flaxseed & suggest it to my grandmother also. We've both had our problems. Thanks for the info.

  5. Well...being an X-hairstylist, I don't find this topic gross or weird, because the stuff I'd talk about with my clients would make your hair turn white!

    I didn't watch the video, but I do know MANY people who have done this and said that it was the best thing they could have done. They felt wonderful, afterwords!

  6. Thank you, Carlos. It's a proud moment for me.

  7. Chris,
    I humbly accept my award. :-)

  8. Theresa,
    Did you try Alli? I remember when it first came on the market, I asked my pharmacist and she flat out said, Do not take it unless you want to poop yourself.
    They don't say that in the commercials.

  9. Hi Collette,
    I didn't figure most people would watch the video. Yes, you really should try the capsules. Much easier than grinding your own flax seed which I tried, too!

  10. Ron,
    I'm sure you could write a book off the stories you heard when you were a hairdresser!

    There are a lot more people who have tried it than I think care to admit. I guess I just like to share. :-)

  11. I remember Chrissy when we used to walk in the mornings and you went into detail one morning telling me about the colonic you had had a few days prior. I've never really been able to get that visual out of my mind over the many years....and now you add to it a video? Oh God,

    Oh and everyone?, Chrissy said she really liked the colonic and wanted to do it all the time...uh, ick. There are some areas that I relly don't want anyone, especially a stranger, to go. Eeeeewwww!

    You go girl. Figuratively, of course!

  12. Oh, I miss those morning walks! Why time did we get there? 5:30?

    I did like it. You two or more times a day poopers just don't understand...

  13. I passed on the video as one hand was in a bag of Doritos at the time. the other hand scrolling of course!


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