Too much information

I got my hair cut a few days ago. The conversations with my hairdresser, Natalie, usually revolve around our work, my inability to stick to a diet and her inability to permanently stop smoking. I told her that I had started this vegan diet on Sunday and she was excited to share with me her experience on a similar plan that she had tried the month before.

Somehow the conversation evolved to a discussion of bowel movements. You would think that by following a meal plan that’s essentially raw that constipation wouldn’t be a problem. Not so for me or Natalie. In the category of “too much information”, we both came to realize that we had suffered through years of constipation and had been to numerous specialists, only to be told to drink more water, exercise and eat more fiber. Yeah, I already tried that, Einstein.

We had both also gone the route of trying colonics. Now a colonic isn’t for the squeamish, so you may want to stop reading this post now and you certainly won’t want to watch the video.

Enemas only clear out the rectum but a colonic will irrigate and flush out the entire colon. I know you’re dying to know how. Well, let me educate you to the process, my friend.

The colon hydrotherapist will insert a speculum into the anus. The speculum is connected to a clear hose which is attached to the colon hydrotherapy unit. Warm, filtered water is slowly released into the colon. The water causes persitalis, which is the contraction of the colon, which causes the feces to release. No, you don't smell or hear anything but you will see it being released in the tube. It's oddly fascinating.

This was the tamest video I could find.




Once you can get past the fact that you’re essentially pooping in front of a stranger, it’s really a very relaxing, albeit pricey, experience. And talk about a flat stomach!

I haven’t had a colonic in a few years because I thought I had found my golden remedy in the form of flax seed oil. I was taking 1000 mg a day and no longer had to cast an envious gaze at my Beagle as she left a hefty pile on the tree lawn. I was regular! Normal. I didn’t have to spend an extra 15 minutes in the morning trying to find a blouse that would cover my bloat.

And then I went vegan. I’ve read a few different theories on why this might happen initially so I’m just going to press on and hope things come out okay.