Why, yes, I am losing weight

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I was at Walgreen's today and I accidentally bumped into this little boy so I said, "Oh my, excuse me!" and smiled at him.

His response was, "Fatty," as he brushed past me.

Now, your first reaction might be. Oh goodness! Out of the mouths of babes...Ha ha.

Mine was, "Shut up. You're a fatty! Takes one to know one."

Of course, I didn't say that. I just glared at him and then I realized, he was right.

I think I figured out why I’m not losing weight. You know, besides the overeating, not exercising thing.

It’s my "fat pants" fault. I bought three or four pairs of pants to wear to work a little over a year ago and I bought them a size larger than I usually wear because my normal size was a little snug. When they start to get a little loose, people comment on how much weight I've lost and then I falsely believe that I’m “thin”. This causes me to eat my way back into them again, thereby perpetuating the cycle.

It’s kind of like when you spend the summer in shorts, eating ice cream and then you can’t figure out why your jeans don’t fit in the Fall. Well, you've been wearing shorts all summer so your chubby legs don't realize just how chubby they've become.

I keep telling myself that I'm going to have these pants taken in but I don't want to spend the money to do that until I've gotten to the weight I want to be. Do you see what's happening here?

That's right. I'm insane.

But I am going to lose this weight. Even though I never finish anything.

I've taken swimming lessons, knitting lessons and piano lessons. I can't swim, knit or play the piano.

And I have no less than 10 "Before" pictures of my oh-so-Caucasian body in an oh-so-teeny bikini that gets smaller every time.

But I'm confident that this is a new day.

Just keep that damn kid away from me.


  1. Oh that's good....
    Question is though, where was the punks mother? And what size was she?

  2. You should have punched the kid.

  3. I saw him later and his mother was big as a house. Believe me, I was tempted to smack him upside his head.

  4. The obvious medical solution here is: Don't wear pants.

  5. Good plan, Jeff! Just give me your phone number so you can be my one phone call after I'm arrested.

  6. i'm sorry, some people are jerks!

    i would really love it if you'd follow me here on ,y journey too!
    we can do this together!!!



    follow me, and i'll follow YOU!

    i need your support, fellow bloggers!

    XOXO Diet Diva

  7. Hi Diva,

    It's okay, thanks. Now if he was 16 and he called me a fatty, I would have had to take him out..

  8. It seems like you and I have been insulted by people latey, hu?

    I was called an asshole and you a fatty.

    I think the Universe is TEMPTING our patience!

    Gosh...and I have the total opposite problem. People always refer to me as Skinny.

    Try as might...I can't gain weight.

    So listen...let's just swap body's for a few weeks, ok?

    Tee, hee!

  9. What a poorly behaved kid! I hate rude children who weren't raised right.

    My new fav workout if jump roping. If you haven't tried it, it's lots of fun, less boring than running.

  10. Ron...Ron... the Universe is f-ing with me, big time. I like to think that it's because there's something awesome around the corner.

    And yes, I would LOVE to switch bodies. How's your blood pressure??

  11. Tina,

    I've heard that jump roping is really good for you. I think my ceilings are too low and I'm not in good enough shape to do it outside where my neighbors with perfect lawns can see me.

    Maybe I could lock myself in my humongous garage and do it.


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