The Grass IS Always Greener

Monday, April 6, 2009

Here's the guy across the street from me cutting his lawn yesterday. He does two things when he's not at work.

1. He works in his yard

2. He rides his bike

This is Bernie, excited to be outside on the dirt, 'er...lawn. I hope she didn't roll over on that rock at the top of the picture.

I think I can speak for my neighbors when I say, we hate him. He makes us all look bad. If it weren't for his plush, green lawn that he already has to cut the first week of April... the day before it's supposed to snow again...our yards would all look the same and no one would be the wiser.

Oh, they all have patchy brown lawns. It must be the soil composition in the area.

He's making us look bad. And he must be stopped.


  1. Oh...DAMN that neighbor!!

    Doesn't he know anything about keeping things looking uniformed???

    That's ok, cause after it'll all look the same!!

    Hey...Bernie is so ADORABLE!!


  2. You should get that creepy fake grass everyone has in LA. It never needs water and stays green in the desert all year long. It comes with a free pair of collagen lips;)

  3. Just pour a spot of gasoline in the center of his lawn (at night of course).

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  5. @Tina..Oooo...I should do the creepy fake grass! I could really use a little plumpin'.

    @Mr. Hot Pic..And I'll also pour the gasoline. How about if I pour it in the shape of my name and then light it on fire? Too much?

  6. Hi Ron,

    No, he didn't read the associations rules about looking like a Stepford house.

    Bernie sends kisses for the compliment!

  7. If I weren't so cynical, I wouldn't have come up with the theory that his lawn-mower is also equipped with a paint-dispenser, so as he cuts he also colors. It's like a lawn salon. Or something.

  8. Interesting theory. You know, I never have seen it up close.

    I'll have to check it out....

  9. No, you do the gasoline in someone ELSES signature. Pick another annoying neighbour...

  10. Ohhhhhh. Maybe I could find out the kid's name who called me a Fatty.


C'mon, you know you want to say it..

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