Go ahead, make my day

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

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Okay, so I had my LAST date on Saturday. And not in a good “my last date…my last kiss cuz this is the one” kinda way. I’m just DONE.

We’ve discussed how shallow I am and how that usually ends up biting me in the ass when the pretty boys end up being jerks. I decided to go out with a really nice, educated, articulate, successful financial planner that really wasn’t my physical “type” but since chemistry can be so elusive anyway, I decided to give it a shot. He was 50, divorced with three young kids (again, I ask the question…where were these guys when I wanted kids 10 years ago??)

We decided to meet at a trendy pub on Saturday for lunch. I was anxious to check it out since I had never been there before and some friends said it was fun. Well, he got there before me and texted that it wasn’t open for lunch but that he would wait in the parking lot for me and we could go somewhere else. I pulled up to see a silver haired guy sitting in a ginormous SUV, tapping away on his iPhone. He suggested that we head down the road to another bar and I got in his car. (I know. Stupid move. But I figured if anything happened to me, he could easily be found by all information I had gathered through my pre-date investigation of him).

He was nice but I didn’t really feel a connection which was probably best when he told me about his “still really angry” ex-wife who was a surgeon and had left him for a resident, only to have that guy leave her, too. Isn’t that how it always is? It sounded like he had way too much drama in his life and that he was looking for something more serious than I was anyway. It seems like all the men I meet are looking for their next wife and they don’t understand a woman who wants to casually date. By the end of lunch, he was telling me to “not take it personally, but you aren’t ready to date.”

Um, okay, Dr. Drew.

What the hell??

We had an interesting debate on that one and he asked me if I was a serial dater?? Wha??

We had actually made plans to do something after lunch but it was obvious to both of us that this date was over. I feel like I’m now acting like all the men I dated when I was in my 20’s and the guys are me. “Don’t you realize that I’m the best thing since sliced bread?", they implore.

Driving back to my car, we had this conversation:

Ginormous SUV guy: “You know it was really…um…brave of you to get in a car with someone you don’t know.”

I gazed at him wistfully, “Yeah…maybe….”

“No, really. I mean, you don’t even know me.”

I turned to him and smiled, “It’s okay. I have a gun in my purse.”

He started to laugh but then I saw the look of fear and uncertainty flash across his face.

Go ahead, buddy, call me a serial dater again.


  1. Maybe he meant you were a Cereal Dater. Cause it sounds like he was a Fruit Loop.

  2. "I turned to him and smiled, “It’s okay. I have a gun in my purse.”

    He started to laugh but then I saw the look of fear and uncertainty flash across his face.

    Go ahead, buddy, call me a serial dater again."

    Bwhahahahahahahaha! Brilliant response, girl!

    And I agree with Simply Southern....it sounds like he was a Fruit Loop!

    Great post!


  3. Ah, the joys of dating... I am single and never married as well and I've had a most interesting year and a half lol. You never know the doozies you will meet. Good one with the gun, though. I scared a guy off with a death glare once, and one time I used the 'what you don't know is, there's a gun and a shovel in my trunk' line...but that was purely in jest... ;-)

  4. @Simply Suthern,
    Cereal dater!! I should have thought of that and responded, "What do you mean? Like I only go on breakfast dates?"

    I was pretty impressed with myself. I thought, what the hell..is he trying to scare me or something? Idiot.

    LOL! I'll have to keep the gun and shovel thing in my back pocket.

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  6. You need some impolite 50 something men in your life. But can I check your purse first? Just in case...


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