Open Sesame

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

As I backed my car out of my detached garage last Saturday to attend a toddler's birthday party, I hit the button on my garage door opener and waited for it to close. I've made the mistake of pulling the car out of the driveway before the door was down only to come home and find it open because of an errant leaf that had blown in front of the sensor as it was closing.

Once I was sure it was securely closed, I pulled out and drove to the party. Three and a half hours later, I returned.

Hey, they're Italian. You didn't think I would be home in a hour, did you?

Bloated from pizza, meatballs, cake and ice cream, I was anxious to get inside, take Bernie for a walk and spend the rest of the evening watching a movie and holding my sore belly. I pressed the opener that's clipped to my visor and waited for the garage to open.

Nothing.

I pressed it again.

Nothing.

Again.

Nothing.

Damn it to hell! The battery must be dead.

I got out of the car and stomped into the kitchen to open the garage with that opener.

Nothing.

I shook it and slammed it against my palm, thinking that might help.

Nothing.

I went outside, opener in hand and leaned my ear close to the door while I pressed the button. I didn't hear the motor running at all so I locked my car door and went inside, leaving the garage door dilemma to be addressed tomorrow.

When I got up in the morning, I was hoping that by some miracle of fate, the garage door has repaired itself overnight.

I pressed the button.

Nothing.

Did I mention that the prior owner had put aluminum siding over the side door AND window in the garage? So there was really no other way to get in but through the large, steel double door which wasn't budging an inch from my pathetic attempt to lift it.

Or was there?



That's right, a door for midgets.

Woops.

I mean, little people.

I'm hoping that Steve and Katie, The Little Chocolatiers, from TLC will stop by and leave a surprise on my car seat. Psst...milk chocolate only, please.



My neighbor, Jim, offered to expand the frame to big people size and install a new door. I know what you're thinking.

Chrissy, why are you encouraging him to spend any more time with you than necessary?

Because. He's engaged!

What's that? You didn't hear my screams of joy?

The ink is barely dry on his divorce papers but he found a new love on EHarmony and has popped the question already.

Normally, I would dissuade someone from jumping into things so soon but what kind of person would I be to come between a man and his happiness??

12 comments

  1. Hey Chrissy! Well, not much hope of me getting through that small door, so any car thieves will have to be kids. Oh. Wait. Indigo

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  2. SO it looks like you're safe...for now...lol! (((HUGS)))

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  3. That's awfully nice of him to take time off from digging the tunnel from his house to yours to add your door. If he can add a door as fast as he can find a bride it wont take long.

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  4. haha... sounds like an interesting story with the neighbor... should I dig through your archives?

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  5. Being a midget myself...whoops, I mean little person, that small door would be PERFECT for me. I sincerely doubt if I would even have to duck my head...HA!

    CONGRATS on hearing the news about Jim.

    *screaming with joy*

    Thank god for EHarmony!!!!

    X

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  6. I love that door! There are so many possibilities:

    1. Little people (already addressed)
    2. Giant Fat Dog
    3. Emergency Entrance for when your stupid garage door opener doesn't work.
    4. Glory Hole for the short and well-endowed
    5. Jehovah's Witnesses Diversion Prop

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  7. Ooh, a little people's door! You should leave milk and cookies inside so Santa's elves can visit. ;-)

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  8. Recently divorced guys make instant changes of course, watch out!

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  9. @Gillian,
    Glad you appreciate it.

    @IndigoWrath,
    You had to spoil it, didn't you?

    @Collette,
    At least 6 months.

    @Simply Suthern,
    Oh, geez, don't even joke about that!

    @Extra Ordinary Me,
    Please, do, so you can feel my pain!

    @Ron,
    Hip Hip Hooray!

    @Sharon, The Queen Blogger,
    #4 is the FUNNIEST!

    @Cashier,
    Ha! You know, I should.

    @Secretia,
    You're right!

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  10. Buy a smaller car and use that door. Next time if this happens, you will be able to lift it and get inside. Problem solved.

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  11. @Kfred,
    Good idea! Do they still make Yugos??

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