Most of us in the blogging community use some sort of counter to see how many people are visiting our blogs. The one that I use also gives you a breakdown of recent phrases that are used in Google searches.
Because of my blog title, people navigate to me through some interesting channels. I had so much fun with this before that I thought I would list some more.
1. Cat watching porn. Hey, it was just an image. I respect their privacy enough to not talk about it.
2. Old man stripping on a pole. One word. Why???
3. Hairy woman ass. Really? People are searching for that??
4. Kim Basinger in nylons. Oooo...if you find this, please send me the link! You known she was my first girl crush.
5. Gross man boobs. I think the word 'gross' here is unnecessary, don't you?
Monday Morning Vinny
Monday, April 2, 2012
For those of you who don't know our history, I adopted Vinny from my parents' neighbors about a year and a half ago. I was never a cat person but this little guy endeared himself to me every day when I would come to visit my terminally ill father. Vinny was an outdoor cat and he would show his affection by leaving dead mice that would greet me on the doorstep on my way out of the house. A few months after Dad passed away, I was outside petting Vinny when, Andy, the owner came home. I jokingly said, "One day I'm going to steal this cat" to which he responded, "Would you, please?"
It turned out that he and his wife were having their third child and didn't want to keep Vinny anymore. I immediately said I would take him, even though I didn't know if he would get along with Bernie and I had no clue how to take care of a cat. I knew I wanted to make him an indoor cat since I lived on a main road and would have spent all of my days worrying about whether he would get hit by a car.
We struggled a bit at first with Vinny peeing in the house in places where he shouldn't. Then he was fine. Then he developed FIC, feline idiopathic cystitis, and he started peeing all over the house again. We got that under control and it was time to move.
In the month or so that we've been in the new house, I was thrilled with how well everyone settled in. Until about a week ago, when Vinny started peeing again. At first it was in the shower in the basement that I use and I thought, 'Well, if he's going to go, at least I can just wash it away."
Then it was in the family room. On my new carpet. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
I was at my wit's end. I couldn't go through ruining my rugs and furniture again and the smell....the SMELL!!! There didn't seem to be a reason why he would be doing it so the thought crossed my mind to get rid of him. But you guys know how much I love my Vin Vin!! I decided to try one more thing.
Yesterday, Vinny spent 30 minutes talking to a pet psychic.
I know....I know....it seems a little unconventional and odd but hey, I'm unconventional and odd.
I wasn't really sure what to expect when I called. Vinny was sleeping next to me and I said, "Should I put the phone next to his head?"
No, no, she responded, I will just connect to him telepathically. As she started talking, Vinny's tail started flipping up and down. She talked to him for 30 minutes. She asked him questions about why he was peeing, if he knew why we moved to a new house and what he thought of the dogs when they bark alot. His response? "I think they're stupid!" Well, that certainly sounded like something he would say.
I tried to keep an open mind but admittedly, the whole thing was more than a little strange. She did say some things that were interesting. She said that Vinny smelled another dog in the house but that there hadn't been another dog living in the house for at least 20 years. Which was completely accurate.
Then when she asked him if he had anything else to say, he said, "Tell my Mommy that I want more Friskies Party Mix, the crunchy kind." You guys! Vinny will ONLY eat the crunchy Party Mix. Coincidence that she said that? Maybe...
She asked if I wanted her to talk to the dogs and I said, "Sure, let's see what Dino has to say." I had told her nothing about either dog. She said that Dino had separation anxiety and that he was upset because he didn't have anything that was just his. It was either a hand me down or he had to share. Then she said that he was a goofy character. Um, YES!
I guess time will tell if this psychic encounter changes Vinny's behavior. Fingers crossed!
Monday Morning Dino
Monday, March 26, 2012
"What's that, Mom? You're going to start jogging? Hoo hoo....ha....ha.....ha.......oh my God, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard!!! Hee hee.........Thanks, I needed that today."
Can you help a Sista out?
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Okay, here's the scoop.
My new friend Amanda, is a clinical psychology doctoral student at Clark University in Worcester, MA. Her research interest is in optimizing couples' functioning. Her master's thesis was on “Constraint Commitment: A Sustaining Factor in Same-Sex Relationships” and she's completing her doctoral dissertation by developing a survey analyzing partner undermining of weight loss.
I think it's a fascinating topic! I know there are plenty of us (myself included) who have found ourselves in this situation before.
Amanda just needs a few more participants for the survey. You may be wondering if I've taken the survey but that's probably because you didn't read far enough to see that you actually need a partner.
The best part is that it's completely ANONYMOUS, so you can be totally honest without fear of being force fed Twinkies by your partner when they find out.
If you meet the criteria below, please help Amanda out by taking this 30-45 minute survey.
1) Are you at least 18 years of age?
2) Have you been participating in a weight loss program for the past consecutive 5 weeks?
3) Have you been in a committed, cohabitating relationship for the past two years?
4) Do you ever feel like your partner/spouse gets in the way of your weight loss?
I know you guys are all super smart, so you should be able to knock it out in 30 minutes, tops. Amanda knows your time is valuable, so as a bonus, each participant will have $1 donated to one of the following charities of your choice:
Playworks
The Carter Center
Teach for America
Susan G. Komen for the Cure
MAP International
But, wait, there's more!
You'll also have the option of entering a drawing for 1 of 10 gift cards (one $100 card and nine $25 cards).
Click the link below to take the survey. Thank you all for your help. Love you guys!
Yes, I want to take the survey to help Amanda out.
My new friend Amanda, is a clinical psychology doctoral student at Clark University in Worcester, MA. Her research interest is in optimizing couples' functioning. Her master's thesis was on “Constraint Commitment: A Sustaining Factor in Same-Sex Relationships” and she's completing her doctoral dissertation by developing a survey analyzing partner undermining of weight loss.
I think it's a fascinating topic! I know there are plenty of us (myself included) who have found ourselves in this situation before.
Amanda just needs a few more participants for the survey. You may be wondering if I've taken the survey but that's probably because you didn't read far enough to see that you actually need a partner.
The best part is that it's completely ANONYMOUS, so you can be totally honest without fear of being force fed Twinkies by your partner when they find out.
If you meet the criteria below, please help Amanda out by taking this 30-45 minute survey.
1) Are you at least 18 years of age?
2) Have you been participating in a weight loss program for the past consecutive 5 weeks?
3) Have you been in a committed, cohabitating relationship for the past two years?
4) Do you ever feel like your partner/spouse gets in the way of your weight loss?
I know you guys are all super smart, so you should be able to knock it out in 30 minutes, tops. Amanda knows your time is valuable, so as a bonus, each participant will have $1 donated to one of the following charities of your choice:
Playworks
The Carter Center
Teach for America
Susan G. Komen for the Cure
MAP International
But, wait, there's more!
You'll also have the option of entering a drawing for 1 of 10 gift cards (one $100 card and nine $25 cards).
Click the link below to take the survey. Thank you all for your help. Love you guys!
Yes, I want to take the survey to help Amanda out.
Monday Morning Millie
Monday, March 12, 2012
Do I have any boogies in my nose? C'mon, you can tell me.
Secondhand Sunday
Sunday, March 11, 2012
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Good choice
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
I'm so glad I decided on a landline.
My popularity is overwhelming.
My popularity is overwhelming.
Stripper Chick Wisdom
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Chrissy's real truth about life that no one will tell you.
"The only thing worse than calling your girlfriend a c_ _ _, is telling her she looks fat."
Or is it vice-versa??
Monday Morning Millie
Monday, February 20, 2012
"J....L....P.....M??.....Oh, shit, I can't read this line at all."
Secondhand Sunday
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Sundays are my Secondhand day. I'm basically too lazy to think of anything new to say so I re-post a "vintage" entry.
If you aren't in the mood for repeats, please feel free to change the channel.
"I can do that, too!"
Original Post Date, March 29, 2010
I’m a brand loyalist.
I only buy Diet Coke, won’t eat a salad without Wishbone Balsamic and Basil Vinaigrette dressing and I replace my white leather Keds with white leather Keds. I thank L’Oreal for my long lashes, Bare Minerals for my “flawless” complexion and Pantene for my shiny locks.
When I worked out religiously in the past, I always bought Nike apparel and shoes. They’re one of the few vendors that make a pant long enough for my 34" inseam and the athletic shoes fit me like a glove.
WHY I decided to go out and buy a pair of Avia shoes is beyond me. I suppose it was the pretty "sale" sign that clouded my judgement. Well, I wore them around the house and hated them. Back they went and I brought home a nice new pair of Nike running shoes.
I know what you’re thinking. Running shoes, Chrissy? Isn’t that a little ambitious?
Well, yes it is, my friends, but this is my fantasy, so shut it.
I headed to the gym last night, sporting an extra spring in my step, courtesy of Nike. I went much later than usual so it was easy to snag a treadmill since there weren’t many people there. As I stretched, I sized up my gym mates.
Two treadmills to the right was a large man wearing one of those silver sauna sweat suits. I’ve seen them in magazines but I’ve never actually seen anyone wear one in person. I would imagine that the fabric is nylon, as they tout the benefits of “sweating your way to a slimmer you”.
Sure, if you don’t pass out and die first. So far, Mr. Silverman looked like he was going to make it as he walked at a regular pace.
To my left, facing the opposite wall was a very large woman wearing white. White calf length pants, white shoes and a white top over her white sports bra. And she was jogging. I thought to myself, If she can do it, so can I!
Scattered around the room were some senior citizens up past their bedtime and some younger guys who were probably the ones who drove Grandma and Grandpa to the Y.
They limit you to 30 minutes on each piece of equipment so I started walking at a faster pace than normal to warm up because I wanted to start alternately jogging and walking tonight.
Since it was dark out, when I looked ahead, all I could see was the reflective image of myself in the mosaic of condensation and cracked glass that the fitness room’s windows provided. It was likely my shadowy silhouette that lulled me into thinking I actually looked pretty good when I started to jog. My new sports bra was keeping the girls in place and my yoga pants gave my legs a really lean look.
I glanced to my right, Keep going, Mr. Silverman, and all this could be yours someday.
I was feeling pretty impressed with myself when a tiny slip of a thing sauntered up to the treadmill between me and Mr. Silverman. She was probably about 25 years old, 5'3, cute as a button and skinny, even though she was wearing two layers of clothing. She started out walking so I, of course, had to continue jogging to show her up.
Game on, honey!
I realized I had pushed my limits when I felt the first bit of vomit coming up my throat so I opted to slow down to a brisk walk. As I gasped to catch my breath, Miss Tiny started to jog. I glanced over and disgustedly noticed that her ass was keeping pace with the rest of her body unlike mine that bounced uncontrollably wondering what the hell was happening.
Once again, I got the bright idea to start jogging. I increased the speed and hoped there was no one on the machines behind me to witness this.
Let's do this, chicky!
I looked at Miss Tiny's reflection in the window because it seemed rude to stare right at her. I saw her reflection unzip her hoodie and remove it to reveal a long sleeved tee. I had to look. It was like staring at the sun. I knew I should look away, but I couldn't. She had barely a glisten on her face while I worried that I might have splashed some sweat her way when I turned my head.
How do you not sweat?? It doesn't matter. I'll just keep going.
Five pathetic minutes later, I slowed to a walk again and Miss Tiny removed her long sleeved tee to reveal her perfectly petite body running like a gazelle in a racerback bra top. You heard that right.
It's a bra.
It's a top.
Crap.
Game over.
If you aren't in the mood for repeats, please feel free to change the channel.
"I can do that, too!"
Original Post Date, March 29, 2010
I’m a brand loyalist.
I only buy Diet Coke, won’t eat a salad without Wishbone Balsamic and Basil Vinaigrette dressing and I replace my white leather Keds with white leather Keds. I thank L’Oreal for my long lashes, Bare Minerals for my “flawless” complexion and Pantene for my shiny locks.
When I worked out religiously in the past, I always bought Nike apparel and shoes. They’re one of the few vendors that make a pant long enough for my 34" inseam and the athletic shoes fit me like a glove. WHY I decided to go out and buy a pair of Avia shoes is beyond me. I suppose it was the pretty "sale" sign that clouded my judgement. Well, I wore them around the house and hated them. Back they went and I brought home a nice new pair of Nike running shoes.
I know what you’re thinking. Running shoes, Chrissy? Isn’t that a little ambitious?
Well, yes it is, my friends, but this is my fantasy, so shut it.
I headed to the gym last night, sporting an extra spring in my step, courtesy of Nike. I went much later than usual so it was easy to snag a treadmill since there weren’t many people there. As I stretched, I sized up my gym mates.
Two treadmills to the right was a large man wearing one of those silver sauna sweat suits. I’ve seen them in magazines but I’ve never actually seen anyone wear one in person. I would imagine that the fabric is nylon, as they tout the benefits of “sweating your way to a slimmer you”.
Sure, if you don’t pass out and die first. So far, Mr. Silverman looked like he was going to make it as he walked at a regular pace.
To my left, facing the opposite wall was a very large woman wearing white. White calf length pants, white shoes and a white top over her white sports bra. And she was jogging. I thought to myself, If she can do it, so can I!
Scattered around the room were some senior citizens up past their bedtime and some younger guys who were probably the ones who drove Grandma and Grandpa to the Y.
They limit you to 30 minutes on each piece of equipment so I started walking at a faster pace than normal to warm up because I wanted to start alternately jogging and walking tonight.
Since it was dark out, when I looked ahead, all I could see was the reflective image of myself in the mosaic of condensation and cracked glass that the fitness room’s windows provided. It was likely my shadowy silhouette that lulled me into thinking I actually looked pretty good when I started to jog. My new sports bra was keeping the girls in place and my yoga pants gave my legs a really lean look.
I glanced to my right, Keep going, Mr. Silverman, and all this could be yours someday.
I was feeling pretty impressed with myself when a tiny slip of a thing sauntered up to the treadmill between me and Mr. Silverman. She was probably about 25 years old, 5'3, cute as a button and skinny, even though she was wearing two layers of clothing. She started out walking so I, of course, had to continue jogging to show her up.
Game on, honey!
I realized I had pushed my limits when I felt the first bit of vomit coming up my throat so I opted to slow down to a brisk walk. As I gasped to catch my breath, Miss Tiny started to jog. I glanced over and disgustedly noticed that her ass was keeping pace with the rest of her body unlike mine that bounced uncontrollably wondering what the hell was happening.
Once again, I got the bright idea to start jogging. I increased the speed and hoped there was no one on the machines behind me to witness this.
Let's do this, chicky!
I looked at Miss Tiny's reflection in the window because it seemed rude to stare right at her. I saw her reflection unzip her hoodie and remove it to reveal a long sleeved tee. I had to look. It was like staring at the sun. I knew I should look away, but I couldn't. She had barely a glisten on her face while I worried that I might have splashed some sweat her way when I turned my head.
How do you not sweat?? It doesn't matter. I'll just keep going.
Five pathetic minutes later, I slowed to a walk again and Miss Tiny removed her long sleeved tee to reveal her perfectly petite body running like a gazelle in a racerback bra top. You heard that right.
It's a bra.
It's a top.
Crap.
Game over.
I did it!
Saturday, February 18, 2012
I finally moved.
Sort of....
A little background for some of my newer readers. I lost both of my parents in the last year and a half and they left their home to my sister and I. We weren't really ready to sell it so I decided to buy out Lisa, move into it and rent mine out. It's got more space and since mine is pretty updated already, I figured it would be easier to rent and then sell when the market turns.
Mom died last March and it's been a long emotional road to get here. The first thing was clearing out their house and deciding what to keep, sell or donate. I did it all myself because Lisa just couldn't bring herself to even set foot in the house. I rolled up the oriental rugs, refinished the floors and painted the walls so it no longer looks like 1970 when you walk in. I'll have to take some pictures to show you once I'm settled.
Friday, the 17th was scheduled as my moving day but I guess I waited too long to set up the transfer of my TV and internet because I'm now sitting in the office of my otherwise empty house, writing this post because I won't have internet until February 29!! Originally, they gave me a mid March date for installation but since I threatened to go to another provider, they were suddenly able to find me a sooner date.
I'm sure I'll be much more productive with unpacking since I won't have any distractions but it was so weird to be there last night without a TV or computer. I was ready to go to sleep at 7:30!
Instead of hiring movers, Manly Man helped me. Remember Manly Man? I met him in 2009 when he was separated but he (OF COURSE) went back to his wife. He's a firefighter and as many firefighters do, he has a side business as a handy man so I've used him for jobs around the house in the last few years and my sister, Lisa, has too.
There's still an attraction between us but, alas....he's just my Eldon and I'm his Murphy Brown. The best I can do is take furtive pictures of him on my camera phone and later fantasize about him.
I better go finish fantasizing unpacking now.
Sort of....
A little background for some of my newer readers. I lost both of my parents in the last year and a half and they left their home to my sister and I. We weren't really ready to sell it so I decided to buy out Lisa, move into it and rent mine out. It's got more space and since mine is pretty updated already, I figured it would be easier to rent and then sell when the market turns.
Mom died last March and it's been a long emotional road to get here. The first thing was clearing out their house and deciding what to keep, sell or donate. I did it all myself because Lisa just couldn't bring herself to even set foot in the house. I rolled up the oriental rugs, refinished the floors and painted the walls so it no longer looks like 1970 when you walk in. I'll have to take some pictures to show you once I'm settled.
Friday, the 17th was scheduled as my moving day but I guess I waited too long to set up the transfer of my TV and internet because I'm now sitting in the office of my otherwise empty house, writing this post because I won't have internet until February 29!! Originally, they gave me a mid March date for installation but since I threatened to go to another provider, they were suddenly able to find me a sooner date.
I'm sure I'll be much more productive with unpacking since I won't have any distractions but it was so weird to be there last night without a TV or computer. I was ready to go to sleep at 7:30!
Instead of hiring movers, Manly Man helped me. Remember Manly Man? I met him in 2009 when he was separated but he (OF COURSE) went back to his wife. He's a firefighter and as many firefighters do, he has a side business as a handy man so I've used him for jobs around the house in the last few years and my sister, Lisa, has too.
There's still an attraction between us but, alas....he's just my Eldon and I'm his Murphy Brown. The best I can do is take furtive pictures of him on my camera phone and later fantasize about him.
 |
| Here he is carrying me into the house so he can have his way with me. What do you mean, that's not what you see? Close your eyes and try again. |
 |
| Here he is, naked, and reaching for something in the pantry. |
Monday Morning Dino
Monday, February 13, 2012
Read amazing stories about people with these titles.
Okay, this one requires some background. I left a pile of clean laundry on the chair and when I came home, Dino was wearing my underwear. It was completely wrapped around him and I have no idea how he did this. Unless he had some help....
"Where were you Vinny?? I told you she would be home soon. I can't get these things off myself!"
"I don't know what you're talking about. Millie, do you know what he's talking about?"
Focus group wanted
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Hi Guys!
In September, I told you all about my new project, MyWeightMakeover.com. It's been a slow start getting my focus directed on it but I've been working with this awesome guy, Timothy at Operation Enterprise. He worked through the web design with me and is now helping me to focus on SEO web content.
As you may recall, I started the website because of my obsession with dieting. In my quest for the perfect bod, I LOVE looking at before and after pictures of people and reading about how they did it.
So I set the site up as a place for people to post their stories and photos to share with others. I also write articles for it and have added a community forum where people can support each other during their journey.
I see my web traffic increasing but people aren't becoming engaged. They come, they read a few articles, they go. We're currently working on re-doing the profile registration so that people can sign up even if they're just getting started or maybe are too shy to post their pics.
This is where I reach out to you, my dear readers, to help me determine what people might be looking for to make them feel like they're part of a "community" or just make them want to come back more than once.
I'm not looking to become a Facebook for weight loss. Well, not right away....That requires deep pockets of which my pockets have deep holes.
But I truly believe the concept is great. I know it's something that I always looked for and was never able to find. Here are some general questions for you:
Would you be willing to post your pics and info?
If so, to what degree? Just pounds lost or before and after stats? Too much info?
How active are you in other forums? What draws you in and keeps you coming back? The information or the relationships you develop in that "community"?
Would you be interested in having your own personal blog on a community site where you could post your progress?
I would LOVE any and all feedback you're willing to share. I'll tell you what...in lieu of payment, I would give you future stock shares in the company. Can you say IPO?
In September, I told you all about my new project, MyWeightMakeover.com. It's been a slow start getting my focus directed on it but I've been working with this awesome guy, Timothy at Operation Enterprise. He worked through the web design with me and is now helping me to focus on SEO web content.
As you may recall, I started the website because of my obsession with dieting. In my quest for the perfect bod, I LOVE looking at before and after pictures of people and reading about how they did it.
So I set the site up as a place for people to post their stories and photos to share with others. I also write articles for it and have added a community forum where people can support each other during their journey.
I see my web traffic increasing but people aren't becoming engaged. They come, they read a few articles, they go. We're currently working on re-doing the profile registration so that people can sign up even if they're just getting started or maybe are too shy to post their pics.
This is where I reach out to you, my dear readers, to help me determine what people might be looking for to make them feel like they're part of a "community" or just make them want to come back more than once.
I'm not looking to become a Facebook for weight loss. Well, not right away....That requires deep pockets of which my pockets have deep holes.
But I truly believe the concept is great. I know it's something that I always looked for and was never able to find. Here are some general questions for you:
Would you be willing to post your pics and info?
If so, to what degree? Just pounds lost or before and after stats? Too much info?
How active are you in other forums? What draws you in and keeps you coming back? The information or the relationships you develop in that "community"?
Would you be interested in having your own personal blog on a community site where you could post your progress?
I would LOVE any and all feedback you're willing to share. I'll tell you what...in lieu of payment, I would give you future stock shares in the company. Can you say IPO?
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