She's gone

Friday, April 1, 2011

It's 12:52AM.

My mother passed away 6 hours ago and I just can't believe she's gone. I came home and made all the requisite phone calls to family and friends when all I wanted to do was lie on the couch with Bernie and cry.

My father was a pretty frugal guy and my mother kept lamenting over what the hospice facility was charging. I told Lisa that he probably implored her to die.

"Jean...do you know how MUCH this place is costing us?"

The only thing that brings me comfort is knowing that this is where she is, seated right beside Dad.



But I'm guessing that before she got to see him that Jesus was there, welcoming her with open arms.

It probably went something like this:

"You're Jesus? What? They couldn't send God?"

30 comments

  1. Oh Chrissy, my condolences. Be kind to yourself over the next few months.

    I lost my Mum Oct 2010 and it still is raw.

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  2. Aww, I'm very sorry for your loss! I like to think that my grandmother is hanging out with my grandfather now. She passed away years ago, but I still miss her. Thinking that, makes me feel less sad.

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  3. I am sorry for your loss. Be gentle with yourself.

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  4. How sad. Yet comforting in a way... I truly am sorry for your loss Chrissy. Take care of yourself in these days to come and don't let family pressure take precedence over your own needs.

    We're all silently there for you.

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  5. Chrissy, I am really sorry for this. The important thing I suppose now is NOT trying to be strong. Let go for a bit. Let it all out, tears and everything else. You and your sister have been great when your mummy needed you. A big hug from the UK

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  6. I'm sorry and sad for you, it's been a tough year for sure. Keep remembering the good times. Be strong, and like LOC said, gentle with yourself. Big hugs xo

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  7. Oh Chrissy, I didn't expect this to happen so soon. Each time you gave us positive news about your mom, I was secretly relieved. But I guess, given the bonds one could guess between the two of you, that she'll always be there with you and for you, like my late Dad is for me. I can sometimes feel him smiling at me from somewhere out there, smiling and beaming at who I've become. And I'm very glad you managed to do that smile-through-tears-thing in your post. Because, despite all the sadness I'm feeling right now for you, you made me smile with that last sentence of yours. I join all the others here in that warm & big hug for you and your family.

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  8. Chrissy- You will be in my thoughts. Truly sorry for your loss. Hugs.

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  9. Good Morning Chrissy,I'm so very sorry for your loss.

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  10. I do hope you are now spending that time with Bernie. Love and hugs - lots of them.

    ~annie

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  11. My thoughts and prayers for you, Lisa and the family in the days to come.

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  12. So sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know how difficult it is to lose a parent. *hugs*

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  13. No words.

    Just this.

    (((((( Chrissy ))))))

    I love you, my friend.

    x

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  14. Sending love and hugs to you, my friend. Take comfort in knowing your Mom undoubtedly saw your Dad and took off running to him! Imagine how happy they both are right now....

    Hang in there, hon.

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  15. Sending warm, healing thoughts your way. As my therapist said to me...Let the grief flow over you like riffles in a stream. Do not move away or try to stay in smooth water or push the grief aside. Try not to let grief knock you down though, do not drown in grief but let it cleanse you of sadness over time til the sound of the riffles is what you save to comfort you...

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  16. Chrissy, I am so sorry for your loss. I will remember you in prayer, and will send lots of hugs your way. Tim

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  17. My condolences, Chrissy. I'm glad you are taking heart in the reunion of your father and mother. And, that you have a sense of humor. Hang in there. Keep you dog close.

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  18. Sending you lots of love and blessings from Maui....

    May God be in your heart and may love hold your hand through this time of grief....

    Lisa

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  19. I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you at this time.

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  20. Thank you all for your love and blessings. It means more than you can imagine. xoxo

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  21. I'm really very sorry for your loss.

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  22. Very sorry for your loss Chrissy. Seamus and I send our best to you and yours. You're in our thoughts.

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  23. I'm so sorry girl. Been there a bunch, and it just hurts. Eventually I got to where I just remember the good stuff. Your mom can't suffer, hurt, or be scared any more. It's the survivors who have to deal with that...mom's in a better place. Hang in there.

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  24. Chrissy, I am sorry for your loss.

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  25. My sincere condolences to you. I must be hard, but keep smiling, keep laughing, keep writing.

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  26. As fellow bloggers and as your blog fans, I don't suppose we can ever know or fully understand what all you are experiencing. But please know that I offer sincere condolences.

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  27. Oh, Chrissy....I've been away awhile and just now trying to catch up. I'm SO very sorry about your mother! I'm sending prayers and hugs! Hang in there, friend!

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  28. I am sorry for your loss. I hope she got to reunite with your father over there and they are now watching over you together.

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