You're becoming a woman

Friday, September 20, 2013

An old woman, that is.
Remember when you were 11 and your mother told you that your body would start changing and that you would experience weird and wonderful things? Fast forward 37 years and replace "wonderful" with horrifying.
I've always prided myself in being able to read the teeny tiny print on anything. While people were lamenting that they couldn't see what it said, I would snatch whatever "it" was out of their hands and proudly proclaim the contents. Poor sap. I can't believe they can't read that.
Behold the poor sap.

Yep. I bought my first pair of reading glasses this week. Last year when I went in for my annual eye exam, the doctor suggested progressive lenses. That's the new catch phrase that they give 40-somethings to make bifocals seem hip. I wasn't buying it.
"No, thanks. Don't think we're quite there yet.", I said, inwardly wondering where I could find a compact size magnifying glass to keep in my purse.
I lost the magnifying glass so I decided it was time to get the glasses. They're only a 1.00 which is the lowest magnification so I don't feel too bad.
Oh, wait, yes I do.
Now I can't make fun of my sister for  squinting or peeking over her glasses to read the menu. And did I mention she's thinner than me now?

Gosh, karma really IS a bitch.


  1. I went blind at 40. I love my progressives. Reading the fine print is important nowadays.

    No worries, You'll rock those glasses.

  2. Getting older is depressing... but I like the glasses! They make you look distinguished more than anything. :)

  3. Hell-o, Christine,

    Hmm, "progressive lenses", they vote? When someone uses terms in a way the word did not exist in our childhood, they are finagling the language to achieve their own end. The language of those trying to deceive is evident in the smallest things. Mendacity.

    He who tries to manipulate other’s words, manipulates their world. This, if, done for an interest counter to the other is violent. Lies are violent, Aleksandr Isajevič spoke on their method and use. Solženitsin said in his Nobel speech, “Any man who has once acclaimed violence as his METHOD must inexorably choose falsehood as his PRINCIPLE.” Yes, i know i am taking it far, but the journey begins somewhere.

    O, and the spectacles, Vanity. Did not Marilyn Monroe sing, "men don't make passes at girls who wear glasses"? Men who like women don't much care what they wear.

    I remember passing through that stage of vision denial, my arm could only trombone so far. And sometimes, that didn't help either. I was on a ladder trying to read the numbers on wires, i leaned my head back and hit duct work; not enough space. And there were times i could not make out the heads of screws, for different screws take different drivers, and tiny 'security' or tamper-proof schools come in too large a variety.

  4. Chrissy,Sorry,

    I typed 'schools', i meant 'screws'; i don't think that lapsus linguæ was Freudian, possibly some sort of mental lisp, or manual typing aphasia or dyslexia. Please, give benefit of doubt in others' typing. It is very hard to use a dipping quill and inkwell in the electronic ether.

  5. Granny carried these things around with her until she died at 90:
    She refused to wear reading glasses.

    Lol the lawyer next door to us won't get bifocals either. Instead he wears both pairs of glasses at once and switches them as needed.

    I need (apparently) glasses for both far away and up close, but I never bother with them. ...mostly because I would just lose them anyway. I am so far managing to get by with squinting.

    You look very nice in your glasses. You also don't look like you're even approaching 40, so I wouldn't worry about glasses making you look old. ;)

  6. @Simply Suthern,
    My sister has progressives and loves them. I'm still in denial. Ha ha, thanks!

    Yep. Calling them progressive lenses is like when they call used cars, certified pre-owned. Call a spade a spade.

    Ha ha! Yes! My arm could only trombone so far as well and my magnifying glass had a light on it so I was just drawing more attention to my blindness anyway.

    Sorry about the duct work. OUCH!

    That's pretty cute. Granny had good taste. My sister wears glasses and sunglasses together. Funny.

    You're my new BFF. I'm not approaching 40, I'm approaching 50. Love you!

  7. "Gosh, karma really IS a bitch."

    HAHAHHAHAHAAHA! LOVED that ending, Chrissy!

    And no, I don't think it's karma, it's just...shhhh....age.

    I started to wear reading glasses when I got to about 45 years old. I didn't want to admit to it, so I would hide behind the shelves at Barnes & Noble and would sneak my glasses on to read a book. Finally, I had to give in and wear them openly because I got to a point where I REALLY needed them to read anything. I use a 150 strength.

    Now, I actually like wearing them. I love people in glasses. I think it's kinda sexy!

    And btw, you look faaaaaabulous in your reading glasses.

    And yes....SEXY!

    Have a FAB weekend!


  8. You make those glasses look good!

  9. Ah, but you can't tell they're bifocals with progressive lenses ;) I love mine & I have the transition ones that get dark when you go in the sun. Now if I could just remember to put them

  10. @Ron,
    Isn't it funny how we fight it? I love how inexpensive they are. You can buy 5 pairs for $20 and I won' have to worry about losing them. (Cuz I'm sure I will)

    Thank you, Dahhhling!

    Ha! Why, thank you!

    That's what my sister says. She has the transitions, too. But I'LL still know!


C'mon, you know you want to say it..

Blogger Template created by Just Blog It