Secondhand Sunday

Sunday, September 22, 2013

I'm basically too lazy to think of anything new to say so I'm re-posting a "vintage" entry.

If you aren't in the mood for repeats, please feel free to change the channel.


Original Post Date, April 8, 2009

I got an email from my friend, Kara, yesterday. She sent me two pictures of a handsome guy with the note, This is someone I used to know that I've been in touch with again. Not sure where it's going...

No big deal, you say, these things happen all the time.

Yes....Only Kara has been seeing someone for over a year and they just moved in together, blending their children into one big happy family.

And Kara is gay.

Or is she? She's been in relationships with men before, but since I met her two years ago, she's only dated women.

Maybe I should think about switching teams, too, if it's that easy.

I mean, we've all experimented. Right, girls?

Who hasn't kissed a girl when you're shitfaced and drunk on the dance floor and all the guys are staring at you?

And who hasn't strapped one on and rode their college roommate until she screamed for you to stop? No? Really??

My friends probably wouldn't be too surprised if I introduced them to my new girlfriend, especially since they've had to deal with my "girl crushes" over the years.

My first love was Kim Basinger in 9 1/2 Weeks. It was 1986 and she played an art gallery assistant who has a chance meeting with a wealthy man that leads her into this wildly erotic and controlling relationship.

They were both so gorgeous, I didn't know which one of them to look at on the screen. I was in awe of how beautiful she was and I couldn't figure out if I wanted to be with her or if I just wanted to be her.

Then came Baywatch and my girl Pam Anderson. Kim who? The bigger the hair and the trashier she looked, the better. My birthday gifts were easy in those years because they usually involved a video of Pam and later, Tommy, in some state of undress.

As you can see, I have a penchant for blondes but I really just thought it was a passing phase when seeing Kim or Pam no longer stirred those emotions in me.

And then I saw Tomb Raider with Angelina Jolie. I realized that it wasn't that I no longer had latent homosexual tendencies. It was that I wasn't attracted to aging starlets. I likes 'em young!

But Angie having all those babies and adopting her own UN Council is a turn off so she's dead to me.

And, of course, these little fantasies are fun but I'm all talk and I would never go through with it. Just in case.
Can I borrow that rainbow flag, please?


  1. None of them have ever contacted you? You and Angelina have so much in common. If you are counting kids.

  2. @Simply Suthern,
    I know. Bummer, right?


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