QV Me

A few months back, I needed some retail therapy to soothe a bad day. It was raining and since the clocks had just “fallen back”, I didn’t feel like going back out on a cold, dark night so I turned on my computer to browse my favorite eBay store. It’s a vendor in Iowa that buys out department store inventory at the end of the season and resells it. I would tell you their name but I can’t risk that any of you might wear the same size as me.

Since most of the clothing up for auction that week was either evening gowns or bathing suits, I decided to head over to QVC. Now, before you think that I’m one of those house fraus who spends all of her money on Quacker Factory sweatshirts and Marie Osmond limited edition dolls, let me set you straight.

Oh, sure, I aspire to be a house frau, earning my money the old fashioned way...legs spread, feet up in the air.

But I’m not a frau now.

So the most I can afford are the three easy payments for the camera I bought and a semi-monthly recurring charge for WEN hair products.



I’ve seen the WEN infomercial a thousand times and I’m always sucked in, nose pressed against the television screen, studying the "before" and "afters". We all have a favorite feature and admittedly, mine has always been my hair.

I hated my boobs when they were small and I hate them even more now that they’re big. I used to like my eyes until a guy I was dating told me that I had Marty Feldman eyes. I think he meant Bette Davis eyes but I was 21 and impressionable so the eyes came off my fave list. Even today, I’m careful not to stare at people too long without blinking in case they have the urge to swat me with a fly swatter. And I thought I had a perfectly acceptable nose until 7th grade choir, when Margie Sutter was sitting next to me and said, 'So you broke you nose, huh? What a bump you have!'

So you see, by process of elimination, my hair is my (no pun intended) crowning glory.

Lately, though, like most things on my body, it’s starting to show its age. I’ve never minded the little bit of gray I have since I started seeing it as a teenager. But the grays have started multiplying and for those who aren’t aware, the grayer is gets, the coarser it becomes. So instead of walking around with pube like hair on my head, I decided to give Chaz Dean and WEN a shot. Guthy-Renker has never let me down before.



Besides, how cool is the name Chaz?

It almost balances out the fact that their spokesperson is buck toothed Melissa Gilbert who played Laura Ingalls on Little House on the Prairie. Did I mention I couldn’t stand her when I was growing up and secretly hoped that Nellie would accidentally shoot her one day? I can almost hear Harriet now:

"Nels! Come quickly! Our sweet Nellie has shot that dreadful Ingalls girl. You know, the one with the buck teeth?"


Smile before you die, Laura

If you haven't managed to spend 30 minutes watching the WEN infomercial, let me explain to you the magic. It's not a shampoo, it's a cleansing conditioner. This means that you don't have to shampoo and condition because it's all done in one step. It's weird the first time you try it. Since is has no detergents and sulfates, it doesn't lather.

I admit, it's a little pricey, but I'm only buying one product and it lasts me 6 weeks. It averages out to $6.00/week which is less than a cup of coffee a day.

See how I'm justifying the cost?

The only thing I don't buy into, is The Saw Cut Shower Comb. They send you an instructional DVD that shows you how to wash your hair.


This is how we wash our hair, wash our hair, wash our hair...

Part of the process includes using this wide toothed comb to be sure that the product is distributed evenly throughout your hair.


Guess how much it is.

Guess.

C'mon, guess.

$5.00, you say?

Nope.

$7.00?

Nope.

FIFTEEN DOLLARS!

For a freakin' plastic comb.

Here's the one I use.


I bought it at the dollar store.

For a DOLLAR!

AND mine has multiple uses.







Have you ever seen SUCH volume?

Hey, you know what? Since you're such a good friend, I'll let you take this comb off my hands for just $9.95.


**ADDENDUM
Sorry, I didn't mean to leave you hanging. I love love love WEN! My hair is so soft but it still has body. Even my hairdresser noticed a change and I hadn't even told her about it.



Oh geez, now I sound like an infomercial!