I'm going to be 45 years old in July (the 9th, if you want to put it on your calendar) and this year, I've finally decided that this year, I'm going to be a quitter.
Let me explain.
My life didn't exactly turn out the way I thought it would when I was 20. I didn't marry the man I thought I would when I was 30. I don't have the children I thought would have had by the time I was 40.
But, wait! Don't think for a second that I'm sitting here lamenting over everything that I don't have and all the things that didn't happen. That's soooo Chrissy, 2010!
This year, I've decided to quit living in the past.
Quit crying over broken promises.
Quit analyzing things or people that I have no control over.
Quit existing and start living my life!
A year ago, my doctor started me on happy pills. Remember the side effects as I worked through 3 or 4 different kinds?
One made me catatonic like a Stepford Wife.
One made me cry at the drop of a hat.
And yet another made me feel like the world was spinning out of control and that I was teetering on a cliff.
The one I'm currently on makes me feel "even" all the time. I'm not happy or sad. I don't get overly excited or bummed out.
I'm just kind of "even".
Existing, if you will. And we all know that's not good enough anymore.
So I'm going to quit.
Does anyone want to not do any of these things with me this year?
Yes, I will join you. Live and enjoy the here and now. Not regretting the past, not putting my life on hold until,... It is what is it and lets be happen in all our experiences!
ReplyDeleteI don't think I can quit the meds though. I am finally to the point where I want to participate. Joy!
Me!!! I've had enough and need to LIVE. Great post!
ReplyDeleteYes, that's the spirit, gal! Let's quit the shit together, now, shall we? My dad always told me to enjoy life; what's more (and better), he used to, you know, 'show not tell', too. I'm afraid I won't be able to stand up in the morning with a song on my lips or whistling a happy tune, the way he did (you have to be a morning-person for that, I reckon). I won't be able, ever, to enjoy Mondays (much too Garfieldy for that). But I will sing and whistle inside myself, promised! And I have decided to quit celebrating my 20th birthday for the umpteenth time; my resolution for 2011: I will be 39 in July (hey, same month here? you noticed? but me, it's the 14th). Kiss 'n' hug ya (but don't ya come and sue me for sexual harrassment, okay? it's kind of a friendly gesture, very common in France) ;-))
ReplyDeleteI'm with you, anti-resolutions. Resolutions that are exactly the opposite of all those resolutions that we are guilted into makimng and we just can't keep, so do the opposite, break all the rules!
ReplyDeletego for it!
Life is for living. A series of adventures, not knowing exactly what they might be or how they may turn out. However, that's part of the excitement of them, the unknown and what they may hold, no time for looking back, just forward at living each one of them out.
ReplyDeleteYou are much too lovely of a girl to be worried about those things. Good for you. I cant quit taking what I dont take but I will cheer you on. Just dont quit blogging.
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful day.
I've made a resolution that this year I will break all my resolutions.
ReplyDeleteYou GO, Chrissy!
ReplyDeleteBRAVA!!!!
I've learned something about my life....
...it's all happening as it should, so there's so need for regrets, failures, or lamenting over what was or what will be. Because it's all in the 'now.'
The moment.
Have a grrrrrrreat weekend, girl!
(((( You ))))
X
I'm inspired! You are such a witty attractive girl (notice I said girl)! What's wrong with those yankee men? You should move south. The "boys" wouldn't be able to keep their hands off you! ::wink::
ReplyDeleteYep, fuck it all. With you all the way.
ReplyDeletethat picture scares me!
ReplyDeleteThank god you walked away from the Stepford Wives' pill. That shits nasty. Hey, I'm turning 45 this year too, and I promise to NOT lose my beloved immaturity, hope you're in!
ReplyDeleteI realized recently that I'm an adrenaline junkie (in a way) always chasing the awesome'st experience and always walking away with a feeling of "not enough, I want/am hungry for more". I am learning to simply enjoy myself. OK, so I'm not quite learning it yet, but I'm fucking working on it ok? heh heh, so I want to NOT chase the rainbow but be the rainbow (and stop talking like if I was a living Skittles commercial)
ツ my cyber house rules
@Middle Child,
ReplyDeleteYeah, let's do it!
@Yvonne,
Welcome to the ride!
@Dieter,
My father was one of those naturally happy guys, too. I don't get happy until about Noon.
Of course your birthday is in July. I knew I liked you! Thanks for the kiss 'n' hug!
@Greg,
ReplyDeleteLast year, my resolutions were all negative and guess what? I had no trouble doing them all.
@twilight gazing,
Beautifully said. My turn!
@Simply Suthern,
Thank you. No plans to quit blogging. It keeps me sane!
@Project Savior,
Good luck with that!
@Ron,
I agree. Sometimes I just need to remind myself.
@Comet Girl,
Awww..thank you GIRL! :-)
@Indigo,
Somehow, I knew you would be. ;-)
@R. Jacob,
I'm going to make it into a poster and send it to you.
@Darling Nikki,
I didn't know we were the same age? BE the rainbow!