This is a test, this is only a test

I guess you could say that I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin, albeit a little narcissistic. I can't pass by a mirror without a quick hello and I love getting my picture taken. I feel like I've been genetically blessed with good skin that's virtually wrinkle free and my boobs aren't anywhere near my waist yet.

When I see people who are my age or younger, I can't help but compare myself to them and there are times when I think, "Wow, they look really old. It's a good thing I don't look like that." But then I have to wonder if they're saying the same thing about me.

Am I kidding myself? Maybe I don't really look as young as I think. I met a woman who was exactly my age and I remember thinking how incredibly old her eyes looked because they had so many lines around them. She proceeded to tell me how it runs in her family that the women have no wrinkles at all and I thought to myself, "Do you not see the lines around your eyes?" Maybe there was something I was missing, too.

I've had long hair for most of my life and I've always been afflicted with short hair envy. I would see the girls with shoulder length bobs and pixie cuts and dream of how my life might be different with short hair. I've cut it three times in my life. Twice when I suspected that the men I was with were cheating on me,"Whatever you do, Baby, don't ever cut your hair" and then once a few months ago.

It's no secret that men like long hair better than short. Ask 100 and 90 of them will say it's so. I've never seen a Playboy bunny with a bob or a porn star with a razor cut;the longer the locks, the better the fantasy.

When I first showed up at work with my hair 8 inches shorter, I was met with squeals of "Oh my gosh, I LOVE it!" from the women and "Oh, you cut your hair" from the men. Maybe the women really liked it or maybe they were just happy that the competition looked like a little boy now and would only be popular with pedophiles.

I needed some true objective feedback outside of my friends, "You're gorgeous!" So short of stopping men on the street, "Do you think I look pretty?", I decided to enlist the help of a dating website that has a feature called, 'Rate My Picture'.

After the first five minutes, I saw that someone had rated me a 10. Yay! I AM still hot. I DO look great for my age and my short hair is a hit!

Five minutes later, I saw that my "average" was now a 5.5, which meant that someone had rated me a 1. My self-esteem plummeted. I AM living with my head in the sand. I DO look like an old hag. I sat there obsessed with the results each time a new vote was tallied. I left my photo up through the weekend and these were my results:

MEN

Average (97 votes) 6.25

18-25 (18 votes) 5

26-32 (20 votes) 5.25

33-40 (20 votes) 6.85

41+ (39 votes) 7.03

WOMEN

Average (13 votes) 5.69

18-25 (2 votes) 3

26-32 (1 votes) 4

33-40 (4 votes) 5.5

41+ (6 votes) 7


As you can see, I've only done slightly better with the men age 41+ than I have with the women in the same age group. Good to know that my option for switching teams is available if I decide to go that route. Because of my poor rating in the 18-32 range, it appears that I'm not going to be included in anyone's cougar fantasies anytime soon.

Besides, it's only the opinion of 110 people. I wonder what 100 more would think??