My new project

I'm really excited to tell you guys about this new website that I started! I got the idea for it about a year ago but life got in the way and I became sidetracked. Even now, I haven't had much time to focus on it with trying to get the other house in order before I move in.

As you are well aware, I have a mild obsession with dieting.

0kay, HUGE obsession with dieting.

In addition to being employed with a few of the national weight loss programs in the past, I think I've tried every diet and/or exercise program out there over the years.

My secondary obsession is with reading before and after stories about how people lost weight and marveling at their pictures. One day as I was searching the web for even more pictures and stories, I realized that no one SINGLE site existed where I go for this information so I decided to make one!

And that's when my idea was born. It's a social networking site for diet and exercise fanatics called My Weight Makeover.

www.myweightmakeover.com

I get to combine my love of writing with my obsession for HOW DID THEY DO THAT??

A free membership allows users to post profiles and upload before and after pictures of themselves to motivate and inspire others. Each member shares the program and/or exercise plan that helped them achieve their goal. I took the original concept and expanded it to encompass diet and exercise advice, community message boards, low cal recipes and celebrity weight loss successes.

I'm kind of in a chicken and egg situation now. I want to promote it to get more users but I don't have enough users now so I don't want people to come to the site and say, "Well, there's nothing really here."

So I reach out to you, dear friends, to help me get the word out and/or point me in the direction of someone who can show me what to heck to do. Now keep in mind that I don't have a large marketing budget but I do give a mean lap dance.

Thanks in advance!!

Monday Morning Millie

Okay, back away from your computer and tell me the shape of her head doesn't look like the Pink Panther.

I'm too dumb for my Smartphone

I ordered it online and activated it 48 hours before my trip to Florida. I only mention that because when the pilot announced, "At this time, we ask that all passengers turn off their electronic devices", I had no CLUE how to do it!I I panicked and shoved it under my right cheek, certain that any conflicting radio frequencies would be blocked by the subcutaneous layer of thick fat on my ass.

Then I remembered that the layer wasn't as fat as it used to be and I closed my eyes and pictured the plane crashing. The last thing heard on the flight recorder would be, "How the hell do I turn this thing off??"

Luckily, we took off without a hitch and I spent the next few days trying to figure out how to make a phone call. As I did with Facebook, I initially resisted the whole Smartphone concept, but I succumbed because my contract was renewing and I got the HTC Trophy for cheap. You know how much I like cheap!

Well, it happened.

I've become one of those Smartphone people. You know, the ones who check their Facebook status 20 times a day and feel the need to let everyone know that "One of us will die when the satellite falls on us." If you haven't already friended me on Facebook, you must so that you can get these exciting updates, too. Here's my latest.

"How is it only Thursday?"

Take a moment to bask in its brilliance before you keep reading.

Not only do I check my Facebook 20 times a day but I also know what the current temperature is now and every hour on the hour until infinity.

It's 72 degrees with intermittent clouds.

Be forewarned that when I invite you to my Christmas party and you tell me that you can't make it because of a snowstorm, I WILL punch in your zip code to confirm it.

Busted!

You're only having light flurries. Get your ass over here!

The camera on this phone is about a million times better than mine was and since I'm a picture taking machine anyway, I'm constantly clicking away.



I'm sure the novelty of this phone will wear off soon but in the mean time, Can I take your picture? C'mon, I'll post it on Facebook!

By the way, it's now 71 degrees and mostly cloudy.

Lunches with Lisa

"I'm glad you had a nice time with Marcy in Florida, Chrissy."

"I did, thanks. I think I was outside a little too long, though."

"No, you look really healthy with a little color from the sun. You know, unlike how you usually look."

"Um..thanks??"

Monday Morning Dino

Shhhhhhhh....I'm hunting wabbits.....

Fun in the (blazing) sun!

We had an awesome time in Florida! It was SO good to get away and not think about work or packing or anything.

My friend Nancy and I stayed with my cousin, Marcy, in Sarasota.


Me and Marcy

Her new house is STUNNING. I mean, how many people have a pool AND a lake in their backyard?



She and her husband, Dave, were the MOST gracious hosts.

We flew into Tampa on Thursday and the first thing we did was stop at International Plaza, which is an upscale mall and shopping center right by Tampa International Airport. Customer service is dead most places but it was alive and well at the International Plaza. They even laid out a red carpet for us!

Isn't Marcy a doll?


Saturday, we hit Siesta Key beach.



Me and Nancy

It was overcast but I came armed with my SPF 30 and an umbrella.



I'm pretty sure my downfall was spending a little too much time in the water talking to some some guys we met from Akron and not enough time reapplying sunscreen.

Don't get excited...

There was no love connection but I did find out that I can fly from Youngstown to Florida for about $150 roundtrip. Now, THAT'S exciting! We flew out of Akron, which is almost as far as Youngstown and I thought I was getting a good deal at $250 roundtrip. See? Everyone comes into our life for a reason.

I got COMPLETELY roasted and looked like a lobster by the end of the day.



Luckily, the aloe vera plant on the side of Marcy's house offered some relief.

Friday night, Marcy's friends joined us and they were SUCH a nice group of women and so much fun! We went to St. Armands Circle for dinner and some window shopping (most shops were closed by the time we finished dinner).



Saturday we rented a boat and our captain, Nancy, guided us along Sarasota Bay.



The homes were AMAZING but this one was our favorite.


"Honey, where did you leave the boat?"

"It's on the deck."

"Okay, I see it now."

Oddly enough, there was NO ONE outside any of them. I guess they're spending too much time working to pay for these 3 million dollar plus homes to actually enjoy them.


Here's my bruise from trying to get back INTO a boat that didn't come equipped with a ladder.


We were all less than graceful getting back in and I'm quite sure the video is somewhere on You Tube as we speak. This time I used SPF 30, wore a hat, a T shirt and sunglasses but STILL got more fried.



I should have known that the vultures at mile marker number 13 couldn't have been a good sign!



Marcy said that her husband Dave was going to grill for us on Saturday night so I figured (VERY wrongly) that he would make steaks and baked potatoes. You know, typical guy fare. Well, this was before I knew that he went to culinary school. We dined on scallop and crab appetizers, filet, asparagus and sweet potatoes. WOW! It was DE-licious.



All in all, we had a really fun time but was I happy to leave and come home to my babies?

What do you think?

Monday Morning Millie

"So help me God, if you take one more picture of me, I WILL bite you."

I'm outta here~

Heading to Florida to visit my cousin!

Have a great week everyone. See you next Monday!

Stripper Chick Wisdom

Don't worry, everything's going to be fine.

Okay, probably not today...but eventually.

I'm pretty sure.

Monday Morning Millie

Deep Thoughts....by Millie Starr



Millie's take on famous quotes.

"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass."
Maya Angelou

"And by the way, smelling ass is awesome, too".
Millie Starr

Good Lord!

Unable to respond to comments again!! ARGHHHH!!!

Secondhand Sunday

Sundays are my Secondhand day. I'm basically too lazy to think of anything new to say so I re-post a "vintage" entry.

If you aren't in the mood for repeats, please feel free to change the channel.


"SAY IT ISN'T SO!"

Original Post Date, April 1, 2010

I’m officially a member of "The Swish Club."

The what?

You know, "The Swish Club". Let me explain.

My friend Debbie and I worked together at Casual Corner (a now defunct women’s clothing store) in 1985. She was 23, I was 19. We went out partying at least 3 nights a week and our meals consisted of Burger King or gyros bought from a street vendor at 2AM. I remember feeling really huge compared to Debbie because she was a petite size 4 and I was a mammoth size 6.

Our store manager, Lori, was a 28 year old Slovenian brick house. She donned a large head of super teased hair sprayed hair, Lee press on nails and raccoon eyeliner. She wore size 8 dresses over her size 12 booty and when she walked, her thighs went swish, swish, swish, swish.

That summer, we went to go see Whitney Houston at an outdoor concert in July. Summers in Cleveland are notoriously hot and muggy but Lori wore pantyhose under her shorts. All we heard on the way up the hill to our seats was swish, swish, swish, swish.

Debbie and I were both horrified to think that one day our thin legs might actually touch when we walked and we would then become members of "The Swish Club" .

I honestly thought I had dodged that bullet all these years until a few days ago. I wore pants most of the winter to fend off the cold but a warm spring day this week brought one of my favorite skirts out of hiding.

I was walking down a quiet corridor of the hospital when I heard it.

Swish, swish, swish, swish

I smiled to myself, remembering Lori and wondering who the poor soul was behind me with the thunder thighs. I paused to fake adjust my shoe and when I looked back, there was no one there. I assumed they had veered off down a hallway and I continued on my way.

Swish, swish, swish, swish

This time, I didn't even pretend to adjust my shoe. I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around.

There was no one there.

I started to walk.

Swish, swish

I stopped. The swishing stopped.

I started to walk again.

Swish, swish, swish

Holy Mother! That sound is MY thighs! No, no, it can't be!

Swish

No!

Swish

No!

Swi

I tried walking so that my thighs wouldn't touch but it was no use. That just made me look like I had a load in my pants.

Well, I guess if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

I've applied for "The Swish Club" membership card. I hear they have some great discounts on cocoa butter for the inner thigh rash.

Dino's Daily Destruction

Yes, I said garage sale

I had a garage sale on Saturday. I know...I know...I said I would never have one again but this time with clearing out two houses, it seemed to make sense.


My initial plan was to move my things into my parents house by the summer (yes, this summer) and put my house on the market. Well, with the real estate climate the way it is and with TWELVE houses for sale on my street alone, I decided to hold off on listing it. Which, in turn, caused me to hold off on moving.

And I guess part of me was holding off on clearing out their house. I kind of felt like, once I did that, that I was accepting that they were gone or something. About a month ago, I put these living room chairs on the tree lawn that were about a hundred years old and not worth selling but I cried all the way to the curb and back.

I was talking to a friend about how difficult it’s been to decide what to keep and what to get rid of. There are some things that I know I want and will use and others that I don’t necessarily think I will need but am struggling with selling. My mother had a very kitchy sense of style that doesn’t always jive with mine.

She suggested that I take pictures of the things that I know I won’t use so that at least I can hold onto the memory. I thought that was a great idea.

Now, I could just give away things on Freecycle.org but let’s face it, I’m not that generous. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve offered up a Reebok Step, clothing and a table and I even asked for and received not one, but two, antique sleds for my Christmas display in the yard. But this is just SO MUCH STUFF.

I lucked out because there were two other sales going on down the street so we had a ton of traffic. I advertised it in the paper from 8:30AM-3PM and OF COURSE I had "early birds" who showed up before I had even opened up the garage door.



My friend, Michelle,and her beautiful grandchild Milah, kept me company.



This is one of the little boys who live next door. I LOVE him!

I guess I did okay money wise but the best part of the day was that so many old and new neighbors stopped by to say hello. Everyone talked about how much they missed my parents and they shared their memories.

I heard from the woman down the street who said that she was so young when she had her son that she had no idea how to be a mom but my mother showed her how.

And the girl who used to walk her dog past the house when Dad would be sitting out front, monitoring the goings on of the neighborhood. She would wave and he had this special wave he would send back.

There was another woman who had lost her son and Dad painted a picture for her as a tribute and she talked about how she had it prominently displayed in her living room.

We know how much we miss our loved ones but rarely do we stop and realize how the loss of them affects others. I found myself in tears by the middle of the day but I couldn't help but feel the love that these people had for my parents and it felt like a warm hug.

I think I'm finally ready to go home again.

Monday Morning Millie & Dino

"I'm playing with this, old lady."


"I said, get your own toy!"


"I don't think so, buddy. You need to respect your elders."


"Wait, how did that happen? She's like a hundred!"


"Sucker!"


"Ha ha...is he still behind me?"

Secondhand Sunday

Sundays are my Secondhand day. I'm basically too lazy to think of anything new to say so I re-post a "vintage" entry.

If you aren't in the mood for repeats, please feel free to change the channel.


"YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?"

Original Post Date, June 11, 2009

I was watching this educational video posted by JB over at It's Gonna Take More Than a Hamburger to Make Me Happy, and it got me thinking about a personal grooming experience from my past.

The year was 1988, the summer I turned 22. Of course, at the forefront of my mind was how I looked (kind of like it is now) and I always tried to find the latest, greatest beauty products. We women of Armenian descent are hairy. We pluck and bleach and shave and then shave again at the end of the day. And we don't have baby fine, blonde hair. We have coarse, dark hair.



The hottest thing on the market that year was a hand held hair removal device called an Epilady. It consisted of intertwined coils that rotated at a high speed and RIPPED your hair out by the root.

It has to go down in marketing history as one of the cleverest campaigns out there. How else could you convince grown women to shell out over $75 for a weapon that would leave you wincing in pain but "hair free for days!" $75 for that luxury? I'll give ya a hundred! Finally, something to ease my hair removal woes.

I didn't mind shaving my legs or even my underarms but my biggest pet peeve was my bikini line. I never seemed to be able to get a nice, smooth shave and I didn't like waxing, either. Epilady to the rescue!

I remember hurrying home to try out my new deluxe, gold model Epilady. You had to be sure your skin was dry and that you pulled it taut as you glided it over the area you were concentrating on.




"Wow," I thought to myself, "this isn't as painful as I thought it would be."

I ran my fingers over the section I had completed and I was really impressed with the results. And then it happened.

Now, keep in mind, the year was 1988. Women were just starting to trim down there as bikinis got smaller. I can still remember getting ready to go out on a Friday night when my friend Debbie implored her cousin, Carla, who was changing her clothes to "trim that, for God's sake." It was the 80's. We didn't look like prepubescent teens. We looked more like what this guy is wearing on his head.



So there I was, buzzing along, pulling hair out by the roots, getting a smooth bikini line. I listened to the hum of my Epilady.

HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

HUUU

You got it. Those rotating coils grabbed a hold of my errant Armenian bush and held on for dear life.

What the hell was I going to do? I tried sending my dog for help but Lassie he wasn't. He did come back with a squeaky toy that proved helpful as something to bite down on to ease the pain and muffle my screams.

I managed to make my way into another room, my Epilady dangling precariously between my legs. I found some sewing shears in the kitchen drawer and carefully snip snipped to release myself from its grip. I think I spent the rest of the night with a bag of frozen peas in my lap.

Thank God it's not the 80's anymore.