I'm too dumb for my Smartphone
Thursday, September 22, 2011
I ordered it online and activated it 48 hours before my trip to Florida. I only mention that because when the pilot announced, "At this time, we ask that all passengers turn off their electronic devices", I had no CLUE how to do it!I I panicked and shoved it under my right cheek, certain that any conflicting radio frequencies would be blocked by the subcutaneous layer of thick fat on my ass.
Then I remembered that the layer wasn't as fat as it used to be and I closed my eyes and pictured the plane crashing. The last thing heard on the flight recorder would be, "How the hell do I turn this thing off??"
Luckily, we took off without a hitch and I spent the next few days trying to figure out how to make a phone call. As I did with Facebook, I initially resisted the whole Smartphone concept, but I succumbed because my contract was renewing and I got the HTC Trophy for cheap. You know how much I like cheap!
Well, it happened.
I've become one of those Smartphone people. You know, the ones who check their Facebook status 20 times a day and feel the need to let everyone know that "One of us will die when the satellite falls on us." If you haven't already friended me on Facebook, you must so that you can get these exciting updates, too. Here's my latest.
"How is it only Thursday?"
Take a moment to bask in its brilliance before you keep reading.
Not only do I check my Facebook 20 times a day but I also know what the current temperature is now and every hour on the hour until infinity.
It's 72 degrees with intermittent clouds.
Be forewarned that when I invite you to my Christmas party and you tell me that you can't make it because of a snowstorm, I WILL punch in your zip code to confirm it.
You're only having light flurries. Get your ass over here!
The camera on this phone is about a million times better than mine was and since I'm a picture taking machine anyway, I'm constantly clicking away.
I'm sure the novelty of this phone will wear off soon but in the mean time, Can I take your picture? C'mon, I'll post it on Facebook!
By the way, it's now 71 degrees and mostly cloudy.