Prozac, anyone?

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

In the last year, I've indulged in a lot of self-destructive behavior.

No, no...nothing fun like meaningless sex.

Mostly booze and food. Mostly food, really. It's always been my drug of choice, but in the last year it's gotten the best of me. I felt like I had no control over my life or career so what was the point in eating healthy? It was one the only thing that made me feel comforted, but the satisfaction was fleeting, and was always followed by self disgust.

When I look back at how I looked in my 20's and even 30's, I've always figured that I had a good metabolism but when I dissect it, I was eating like a thin person. My basic meals were a protein and a veggie, some fruit as a snack and then a daily indulgence of chocolate. This was coupled with some pretty intense working out, too. So, no I wasn't just "lucky", I was dedicated. Dedicated to looking and feeling good.

I haven't really cared about either one in a while. I have multiple food allergies, so I always avoided anything that was on my "no" list. I wouldn't even cheat once. In the past year, I sought out the things that made me feel the worst because then I could just sleep it away. And then I could forget about how miserable I was. My "naps" on the weekend? No shorter than 5 hours.

I knew I had hit rock bottom when I started avoiding get togethers with friends because of being embarassed by how I look. Me! Embarassed by how I look? And to not want my picture taken? When, that was just unheard of.

But that was back in 2012 and this is a new start. I promise to not be all wishy washy depressing. I just have to detox all the crap out of my system so I can find the fun again.

Who's with me??


  1. Luckily for me, I don't gain weight no matter what or how much I eat. And to look at me you would never know how much of a HUGE eater I am. My metabolism is very fast, so I burn it off quickly. I've been this way my whole life; even at 57 years old.

    Yet, I can see how much food can become a substitute or suppression for other things because when I'm bore or feel uninspired, I eat.

    Brava to you for taking the initiative to detox and do what you feel is the best for you!

    Yup...I with you, girl!


    X ya!

  2. I could stand to eat a few less country Ham and egg bisquits myself. But they are so good.

    Im pulling for ya.

  3. *raises hand* I need to get motivated again too! It's just a matter of finding time when I have a 4 month old to take care of. Good luck!

  4. @Ron,
    Lucky you! Eat some ice cream for me, will ya? Thanks for coming along for the ride~

    @Simply Suthern,
    Great. Not I want country ham and egg biscuits! You aren't helping....

    @Kelli Hale,
    I'll be here when you have a free moment. By the way, I looked up Eleanor's photo and she's beautiful. Congratulations!

    @Travel Girl,
    Yay! Let's go~

  5. I'm definately with you. In fact, I told myself 2013 was gonna be the year that I get healthier...that is, if I can bring myself to keep away from Cheeseburgers and Vodka! (Wish me luck! - I'm gonna need it!) I'm tired of being the chubby girl in the group and looking like someones frumpy mother! :):) I need to get my hotness goin on again!

    Cheers to us!

  6. @Jenny Brown,
    Me, too!! Those are my exact goals. Not being the chubby girl and being hot again. We can do it! :-)


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