Calgon, take me away!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

This is Calgon.

I know, no bubbles, but it works for him, don't ya think?

I'm having a hard time finding the funny lately. Four weeks ago, my 82 year old mother called me during the day while I was working on the other side of town. She was panicked that she was having trouble walking and was very short of breath. (she was diagnosed with emphysema about 4 months ago)

I told her to call 911 but she said that she wouldn't call until I got there. My sister gets annoyed with me because Mom's cried wolf many times before but I can't risk the chance that the NEXT time might be the one when something awful really happens, so I always give in.

I left work and made the 45 minute drive to her house to call 911. It turned out that she had congestive heart failure and they found a clot in her leg. In the weeks that ensued, she would take two steps forward and then three steps back.

I went to the hospital religiously every day after work and made the phone calls to concerned neighbors and friends. They transferred her to a rehab facility last Thursday at 3:00 and by 4:00, she was already arguing with her roommate.

She called me at 11:00 that night, frantic and out of breath, saying that they were abusing her and that I had to come take her home. I drove up there to calm her down and assess what was going on. She had worked herself into such a frenzy that she was hyperventilating. She's always been an anxious person but she was way over the top.

I think her behavior is a combination of her medication and her panic that she might never come home. She called me at 4AM on Monday to tell me again that I had to come and get her out. I called her nurses station and had them check on her and when I visited the next day, she didn't even remember calling me. I've told you guys how she and my sister have a pretty volatile relationship so I feel completely responsible for my mother's happiness and well being and it's starting to wear me down.

Couple this with all crap that's going on at work, and I swear, if someone looks at me wrong, I will literally stop.their.heart. Fortunately, the hospital that I work for has an employee counselor that I can talk to so that's been a great way to vent to an objective third party.

I'm so emotionally spent that I don't even have the energy to see Sparky again. And I would really like to see him. But we don't have a "let's sit around and talk about how we feel" relationship. It's more of a, "take off your pants " kinda thing. And I don't even want to do that right now.

Maybe this isn't the best time to go off my meds. :-)


  1. Tough row to hoe. I've done my own version of that, and it just sucks and grinds you down. Remember to take time for yourself, do a spa day now and then or whatever, cause you're going to need the getaway and the pampering. It's one of the phases of life, and it doesn't last forever, but it sure does suck while you're in it. Take care of yourself.

  2. @Jaymo,
    Thanks, you're right, it sure does suck. Here I am taking time for myself at 3AM. Must sleep! But the more I try, the more awake I become. QVC, here I come!

  3. Am so sorry to hear you are going thru that. My mom in law is very similar. We are the closest to her so we have to deal with her. We dread everytime the phone rings but you cant not go.

    You're a good daughter. Being the caretaker is hard. Bless you.

  4. huge hugs, and an ear if you need it.

  5. Nominated you for blog award love on my page.

  6. First of all, let me say what an awesome daughter I think you are because I know this can't be easy, Chrissy.

    That's a lot of stress you're going through right now. I'm glad to hear you've got someone you can talk/vent to.

    And btw, Calgon is not only cute....he's a muffin - woof! He can take me away, anytime!

    (((( Chrissy )))))


    P.S. you take care, okay?

  7. I don't know if this will help or not, but my dad is going through the same thing with his parents. They're in their 80's, and flat out refuse to go into any assisted living, even though my grandmother has terrible dementia (she licks dirty utensils and then puts them back in the drawer - when we went up to visit last Christmas, we all got the stomach flu that my grandma had a week before) and my grandfather is almost blind. Dad tried having an in-home assistant to help check in on them, but my grandfather wouldn't let them in the apartment. And, unfortunately, they live in Germany and Dad lives in the US, so he mostly can only talk to them on the phone. He does rely on some good friends who still live in Germany to help, though he can't ask them to be with his parents 24/7 of course.
    But lately my mother (bless her heart), has been having him meditate to keep him calm, and he has just decided to accept whatever is going to happen, since he has limited control.

    Anyway, that might not have helped you feel better, but you aren't alone. Hope things get good again for you. <3

  8. Bless your heart! Hang in there. This too shall pass.

  9. Chrissy, I'm sorry your mom isn't feeling well. I wish I could give you a hug. :(


  10. Hey, girlfriend....hang in there! Be strong and know that your friends are thinking of you! (I'm sending Hugs.............and Vodka!) :):)

  11. My mom went through the same thing when she was in the hospital - calling all hours of the night, not sleeping, insisting that she was being abused, not being given her medication, etc. Very thoughts are with you.

  12. @Simply Suthern,
    Thank you. I'm sorry you're going through the same thing.

    @Eolist petite,
    Thanks so much.

    Thanks for the award! I'll post it in a few days. :-)

    Thank you. I'm trying. Isn't he yummy? I'm not sure who he is but I think he's on one of the many CSI shows.

    Your poor father. That must be extra hard since he's so far away from her. I am trying to find time for myself but it's pretty tough. When I have extra time, I just want to sleep! Thanks for your thoughts.

    @Comet Girl,
    Thanks. :-)

    Thanks, T.

    @Jenny Brown,
    Oh, did you know that was just what I wanted?? ;-)

    @Travel Girl,
    Ahh...another survivor of this mess. Yes, it is pretty stressful on us, isn't it? I don't remember this being in the handbook!


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