Calgon, take me away!

This is Calgon.

I know, no bubbles, but it works for him, don't ya think?


I'm having a hard time finding the funny lately. Four weeks ago, my 82 year old mother called me during the day while I was working on the other side of town. She was panicked that she was having trouble walking and was very short of breath. (she was diagnosed with emphysema about 4 months ago)

I told her to call 911 but she said that she wouldn't call until I got there. My sister gets annoyed with me because Mom's cried wolf many times before but I can't risk the chance that the NEXT time might be the one when something awful really happens, so I always give in.

I left work and made the 45 minute drive to her house to call 911. It turned out that she had congestive heart failure and they found a clot in her leg. In the weeks that ensued, she would take two steps forward and then three steps back.

I went to the hospital religiously every day after work and made the phone calls to concerned neighbors and friends. They transferred her to a rehab facility last Thursday at 3:00 and by 4:00, she was already arguing with her roommate.

She called me at 11:00 that night, frantic and out of breath, saying that they were abusing her and that I had to come take her home. I drove up there to calm her down and assess what was going on. She had worked herself into such a frenzy that she was hyperventilating. She's always been an anxious person but she was way over the top.

I think her behavior is a combination of her medication and her panic that she might never come home. She called me at 4AM on Monday to tell me again that I had to come and get her out. I called her nurses station and had them check on her and when I visited the next day, she didn't even remember calling me. I've told you guys how she and my sister have a pretty volatile relationship so I feel completely responsible for my mother's happiness and well being and it's starting to wear me down.

Couple this with all crap that's going on at work, and I swear, if someone looks at me wrong, I will literally stop.their.heart. Fortunately, the hospital that I work for has an employee counselor that I can talk to so that's been a great way to vent to an objective third party.

I'm so emotionally spent that I don't even have the energy to see Sparky again. And I would really like to see him. But we don't have a "let's sit around and talk about how we feel" relationship. It's more of a, "take off your pants " kinda thing. And I don't even want to do that right now.

Maybe this isn't the best time to go off my meds. :-)