Eeny, meeny, miney, moe

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I’ve been on and off dating websites for the last 10 years.

Good Lord. TEN years.

Recently, more off than on.

The last time was in 2009 when I tried out (can you say FREE?) and met the manly man firefighter.

He subsequently went back to his wife. By the way, if you know of any men who are separated, please give them my number and they will be sure to reconcile with their ex in no time.

Then I tried the California guy thing and that went to straight to hell. And by the way, do you know that he never even emailed to see how my Dad was? How shitty is that?

Obviously, I had a lot going on this past year so dating was the last thing on my mind but I think I’m ready to get out there again. Whatever that means.

Last night, I went on just to peek around and see what the pickin's are and I actually found some interesting people. Of course, the bummer is that most of them have "40 year old woman" at the top of their age range. Maybe 41. The only ones who are willing to date 44 year old women are usually 74 year old men.

He's on my "maybe" list

The fact that you can be so specific about your “criteria” is what attracts me to over the others. No, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to only look for men who live within a 5 mile radius of my home. You know I’m lazy, so the last thing I want to do is drive any farther than I have to.

And sure, they can drive to see me but c’mon, it’s Ohio. I don't need some guy I’ve only been out with a few times to drive in from Akron during a blizzard and then use as an excuse that “the roads are too bad to drive back home, baby”.

Here's a snow brush, baby. Put your pants on and get out.

I know that I’m not looking for a serious relationship. All I want is someone to go out with once in a while and to "bada boom, bada bing"!

Does that mean "sex" or does it mean "killing someone"? I'm looking for the first one.

These were some of the profiles from last night.

A plumber? pipes are in pretty good shape.

Graphic designer? Well, I am looking at a new website venture. I’ll save that profile to my favorites.

Landscaper? I really need a fall clean up in my yard. I wonder if he does snowplowing? Save that one…

Attorney? No, I’m good.

Electrician? Oh, I really want an outlet installed out front so I can do Christmas lights this year. Save to favorites…

No...I're right!

I shouldn't be looking at these men for they can DO for me. I should be looking for someone who has the same morals, religious beliefs and interests as me. Because that's really the only way that I'll find someone that I'm compatible with.

Hold on...this one does drywall....


  1. Ahahaha! Welcome to my world! Good post! Good luck venturing back into the shark-infested waters! :)

  2. So wait. I live more than five miles away from you. Another 3836 miles in fact. Dammit, does that mean I didn't make the cut?! I've already bought the fireman's outfit!

  3. Hmm
    I am handy around the house, have a big tool belt, (if you know what I mean), originally from the midwest, not religious, except for the occasional "oh my god Chrissy!", and would hide all the snow brushes, hoping for a blizzard!

  4. I think you should look for someone who is kind. I have found that as I get older everything else matters less.

  5. "bada boom, bada bing"?
    After reading this, I couldn't get the image of you dating Peter Griffin, out of my head - lol

  6. Looking at the picture, I thought that was you!

  7. I couldnt imagine getting back into the dating world at any age these days.

  8. I like your comment about dating within 5 miles. Seriously, who wants to fight rush hour traffic to hit (insert mega restaurant chain) for happy hour? It's like an hour drive to eat bad food and have an okay time? Yeah, I'll save the gas money and hit the drive thru on the way home. Same result.... I'll still have an upset stomach, be bored and on the couch by 9pm.

    So don't look for me adding you to my favorites. You're two hours away. Sorry. Don't hate.

  9. "I should be looking for someone who has the same morals, religious beliefs and interests as me. Because that's really the only way that I'll find someone that I'm compatible with.

    Hold on...this one does drywall.... "


    OMG, Chrissy...this CRACKED ME UP!!!!

    X ya, girl!

  10. OMG, why did you have to post that picture of the guy on your maybe list? Now all I can think about is why he's wearing that cone...


  11. hehehe :) keepa huntin darlin!

  12. best of luck darlin ......XXX OOO its a jungle huh?

  13. Yeh...I realize since my husband died in 07,how cheap he worked...I miss that, among other things...haven't jumped back in the sea yet though


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