What I did on my summer vacation

I called 911.

A lot.

Let me explain.

Who's the biggest dog lover you know? Me

Who's the last person that you ever thought would get bit by a dog? Me

Who got bit by a dog?

That's right. Me.

 

I was outside watering my lawn when my friend's father made his nightly walk around the block across the street. He has two dogs: one who's about a hundred and saunters around off leash and the other, a Pomeranian/Sheltie mix who is harnessed and growls at everyone who goes by. I think you can guess which one bit me.

 His name is Forest but he's not slow like Forest Gump. My friend's father insists that he's a very sweet dog and that he just gets protective when he's wearing a leash. On this evening, as he often does, Mr. Hackett was walking with the two small neighborhood children that live next door to him. The smallest one, with big blue eyes like Cindy Lou Who, was holding tightly to Forest's leash.

"Go ahead, Natalie. Drop the leash. Let's show Chrissy how tame Forest is."

I held my breath as Forest slowly moved forward and sniffed me, but the teeth came out again and I told Natalie to grab the leash. That's right. I was asking for protection from a 6 year old.

I continue talking to Mr. Hackett and was paying no attention to the dogs until Forest starting barking. The kids asked if the cat across the street that Forest was barking at was Vinny and I leaned forward on my right leg to look around the car parked in the street to check it out.

In that split second, Forest lunged at my leg and took a chunk out right below my right knee. It was bleeding profusely and I was totally panicked but I didn't want to alarm the kids so I very calmly said, "Oh my...this looks pretty bad. I better go get a band aid. See you later."

I left a trail of blood as I went to the front door only to find it locked. I ran around to the back and by the time I got to the door, my neighbor from down the street was on my heels in her nightgown.

"I saw it! I saw him attack you."

I'm pretty sure I saw some muscle hanging out so I called 911. Well, how was I supposed to know they were going to quarantine the dog for two weeks?? The paramedics did nothing but put a bandage on it so my friend took me to the urgent care where they cleaned it out and gave me an antibiotic. I didn't know that they don't stitch dog bites because they're afraid that they'll become infected. It's been two weeks and it's still an open wound so I might go see a specialist to see what they can do.

A few days a later, I got a call from the police chief wanting to discuss "the incident" saying that there is a vicious dog ordinance in the city. Oh, geez. If they classified the dog as such, they would need to put a fence around their yard and post a sign stating "vicious dog lives here." I convinced the police chief to not classify Forest as a vicious dog because I've known the family for so long and it seemed like such an extreme measure. He joked that if his dog every bit anyone that he hoped it would be me.

Ten years ago, I probably would have been more upset because I was so vain. Now, what's one other scar on my right leg? It will go with the scars on my left leg from the burns. The funniest part was that my next door neighbors had just made me some corn that they grew in their yard. They didn't want to chance me boiling it myself! A few hours later, I got a text from them as I was in the urgent care waiting room. "Did you choke on the corn?"

You know how most neighborhoods have a neighborhood watch to deter criminals? My neighborhood is going to have a watch for me. They're going to work in shifts and if they haven't seen me in 8 hours, they need to see if I'm still alive.