Don't try this at home

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

For some reason, I've had this corn on the cob kick lately. Every night, I boil one ear of corn with dinner. Last night, I got home pretty late and decided that I would treat myself to two ears of corn. So, of course, I had to use my ginormous pot instead of the small pot I usually use.

I got distracted by something and when I came into the kitchen, my yummy corn was in full boil, steam rising up to the ceiling. I don't have any pot holders, so I used two kitchen towels to pick up the pot and take it over to the sink to drain the water out. As I'm sure you know, kitchen towels aren't that thick and I could feel some of the heat coming through from one handle. I placed the pot on the edge of the sink to readjust my grip and the pot slipped.

Boiling water gushed all over the front of my legs. I was so shocked that I stood there for a second before I backed up and dropped the pot. My pants were sticking to me so I pulled them off and rushed to the freezer for some frozen veggies to put against my thighs. I looked down and my skin was peeling but I still foolishly thought it wasn't that bad. The pain wasn't really registering yet but I couldn't feel the cold against my leg so I knew that was a bad sign.

Still...I have a high tolerance for pain so I thought I could work through it.

Then the the pain started. And it was bad.

I called my sister who lives 5 minutes away and told her to come over and look at it. Miss Medical Assistant that she is, you know. Well, it was taking her far too long to get here and by now, I was starting to blister so I dialed 911.

I looked down and realized that I didn't have any pants on which is not a good look for me. I grabbed a pair of bike shorts and ripped the hem open to stretch them before I put them on. The minute they got there, they told me we had to go in to the hospital. By now, I'm crying and shaking. I did get some relief to see that none of the guys from the rescue squad went to high school with me because half of the squad who works there did. And yes, this is the kind of stuff that goes through my head even in the throes of pain.

The ER doc was pretty handsome with his salt and pepper hair and he looked straight into my eyes when he talked. If you're familiar with docs, you know this is pretty rare. The burns are second degree on my left thigh and first degree on my right. He kept asking me so many times if I was sure that I hadn't gotten any water on my genitals that I was tempted to say, "Look, if you want to see my genitals, just ask."

I was going to post a picture of the burns but they are so disgusting, I couldn't subject any of you to that. If you're curious, you can Google second degree burns but not after you've eaten.

All they basically did was apply cold compresses. They gave me some Vicodin which didn't relieve the pain so before I left they gave me a shot of Dilaudid, which is like Morphine. WOW. No wonder people become drug addicts. When we got home, I went over to my car to lock it. I realized when I went out this morning, that I hadn't even shut the window! This is some good shit.

I came home and put this on the stereo.

I saw one of my neighbors today and he yelled across the street, "what are you going to do for an encore?" I shouted back, "I think I'll shoot myself in the foot!" I love my neighbors. Really, they're the best.

I have to follow up with the burn unit tomorrow so I'll give you an update. It looks like there will be scarring, so they're going to need to find someone else for Miss July of the Cougar Calendar.


  1. Oh babe!! I am so sorry to hear that. I know burns hurt especially where you have large areas.

    I hope you have enuff pain killer to get you thru the hard part.

    You girls worry about the weirdest things during emergencies!!! LOL

    Get better soon hun.

    One cob at a time next time.

  2. @Simply Suthern,
    Thanks! Yes, I have Percocet and it looks like I can only take a half without passing out, so they should last a while.

    I thought about how fat my thighs looked, too. LOL

  3. OMG!! That sounds incredibly painful! Glad they got you all fixed up. Wishing you a speedy recovery! :)

  4. YOWZA, Chrissy....I had pain from just reading this post!!

    One of my biggest paranoia's has always been having the pot on the stove topple over with boiling water in it. I've gotten some wicked 'steam burns' from a pot of boiling water, but never from the actual water.

    I'm so glad that you got yourself to a hospital because a burn can be very serious.

    Listen, I hope you don't mind me giving you a suggestion for the burns (scarring), but get yourself a tube of Calendula Ointment. It's a homeopathic medicine that you can purchase at most health food stores and it's very inexpensive. It's incredible for burns, and helps to prevent scarring. I've been using it for years for cuts, burns, and bruises. And let me tell WORKS. I used it on my face when I had oral surgery two years ago because was left with a HUGE bruise. Within one week, it was gone! Try purchasing it as soon as you can because the sooner you use it, the better the results. Call me if you have any questions, okay?

    You take care, girl!

    ((((( You )))))


    P.S. the product is called, Calendula Ointment from the company, Boiron. You can google it.

  5. That sounds awful! For the love of corn! :(

  6. @Kelli Hale,
    Thanks so much!

    Thank you for the suggestion! I already ordered it. You haven't let me down before. xoxo

    HA! I know, right? Damn yummy corn..

  7. Sooo sorry Chrissy... I know how painful a burn can be... yet you still always have a way of making me laugh even when you're sharing a serious incident. Thank you for your sense of humor. And maybe you should consider cream corn from the can in the future. :-)

  8. A similar thing happened to me a few years ago when I was boiling eggs! I spilled half a pot of boiling water on my left foot and now have a permanent scar from the deep 2nd-degree/mild third-degree burn. I really hope the pain and discomfort fades away as quickly as possible. I SO remember how ordealish the burn-healing process was.

  9. @Vernon,
    Thanks. Yes, it's pretty nasty. If we aren't laughing, we're crying. Laughing is so much better! I think I'll take your cream corn suggestion. :-)

    @The Roving Retorter,
    Ouch! I didn't have shoes on so I'm so surprised I didn't burn my foot, too. Yes, they told me it was going to get worse (all the skin would peel off) before it got better.

  10. Chrissy WTF!!! hope your doing better. The same thing happened to my mother carrying a huge ass pot of tomato sauce from the stove to the counter. I know how much that must of hurt seeing that my mom is a freaking super freak and can handle pain like no ones business she freaking cried like a baby that's how much it hurt. Feeling for you lady.

    Take care of yourself

  11. I think the real question everyone is dying to ask is how was the corn?

  12. JEEZUS... I go away to have some oral surgery, come back and look what happened! I know I'm late and all, but SORRY this happened to you... how sucky!


C'mon, you know you want to say it..

Blogger Template created by Just Blog It