Oops, I did it again

Thursday, November 24, 2011

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You'll often hear me say, " I will never_______________"

...drink that much again.
...eat that much again.
...sleep with an ex again.

But I inevitably, DO_____________

...drink that much again.
...eat that much again.
and sleep with an ex AGAIN.

Well, I'm pretty sure that I said I would NEVER go on a dating website again.

Guess whaaaat?

And it's just as disastrous as it was ALL the other times. Okay, maybe disastrous is a little over reactive but unsuccessful doesn't seem like an adequate enough summation.

I've been having a pretty tough time entering my first holiday season without both of my parents so I wanted a little distraction and I thought internet dating might be a good place to find that distraction.

I was wrong.

As usual, I start out just looking at profiles. I'm not willing to plunk down my credit card until I'm pretty confident that there are at least 3 or 4 guys that I feel are worth my $35.00 gamble. Once I found a few, I was able to start searching.

I avoided the ones that are looking for their soul mate, lifelong partner or "woman to complete me". Remember, I was just looking for a distraction through the holidays.

This is his only photo

Nothing turns a lady on like a man wearing a wife beater

If he's 47, I'm 29. That dog is dead three times over.

Doesn't he have anyone who can take his picture so he doesn't have to use the reflection off his bathroom mirror?

The profile was for the guy on the right. Me likey.

I was communicating with a really nice guy who lived about 10 minutes from me. He was a carpenter but he also did plumbing and electrical so I found myself making a mental list of all the things I needed done every time I talked to him.

I fell in love with him when he told me that his father lives in NYC and gets VIP tickets to the Macy's parade every year! Ever since I was a little girl, I have been DYING to go to New York for the parade. I get up every Thanksgiving and watch it from start to finish. This year, when my sister came over at noon, I told her that it wasn't as much fun to watch without Mom and Dad making fun of me.

"You know I still think you're a freak", she replied.

"Aw....thanks, Lisa." sniff...sniff

Anyway, back to Macy's guy. Nice guy, funny, talked for a week and then POOF. He disappeared. Oh well.

The website copied Facebook and has the option to "like" a photo on someone's profile. I posted pictures of Millie and Dino and they get WAY more likes than me!

Same old story. They wink, I wink back. Nuthin. They email, I respond. Nuthin.

Since I wasn't having any luck on this website, I went to another and emailed this guy. He's a little bit older but I like his face. It has character.

Fingers crossed!


  1. OMG Chrissy, I was laughing my ass off through this ENTIRE post!!!!!

    Sixth photo down:

    "The profile was for the guy on the right. Me likey."

    Bwhahahahahahahahahahaha! HILARIOUS!

    And what's with these guys talking photos of themselves FLEXING in their bathroom mirror!?! I've seen that on several other websites.

    Well, I applaud you for at least TRYING to get out there and meet someone.

    I was getting very excited when you were talking about the Macy's guy because I thought you were going to say that he and you were going to meet in NYC.

    Anyway, I like the last shot of the older guy. You're right...his face does have character - WOOF!

    Hope you had a super Thanksgiving Day, girl!

    X to you and the gang!

  2. @Ron,
    I can't tell you HOW excited I was about Macy man.

    I totally forgot about the guy whose profile name was CountryManlove. I told him that his name sounded like a gay porn site. Hmmmm...haven't heard back from him.

    Thanksgiving was good. Hope yours was fun, too. Have a great weekend. Stay sane!

  3. @Simply Suthern,
    Yes! I bet you're right. :-)

  4. Yikes. Some of those photos have got to be there for a bet. Surely cannot be real.

  5. Hey Chrissy, please remember that they're fuckwits, and you're fabulous. Indigo x


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